New male coworker... suddenly I'm weak
 

I work at a convenience store/pharmacy as a front store cashier.

Until recently we have had all female staff, we got everything done without any problem, never had any trouble lifting heavy things. I've always been very strong, and I'm not a skinny little girl, I can lift quite a bit without strain.

We recently hired a guy for a front store cashier. Nice guy, his name is Dustin, and he's not a weakling but he's not an iron-pumper either.

We go to the receiving doors and start to empty garbage. Mary, who is small and skinny and weak, moves to try and lift a heavy box of old advertizing fliers. Coleen, a receiver who can normally lift that no problem, moves to grab it and she can't lift it.

They ask Dustin to lift it, but I said I could handle it, and move to grab it. They keep insisting 'no, no, let Dustin handle it' and I drop two fliers because of the angle I grabbed the box.

Suddenly, they deem it as 'too heavy' for me, and have Dustin grab it and take it to the dumpster.

Now, I consider myself a feminist, but also consider biology. Yes, most men are stronger physically than women, just because of their body structures.

However, I know that this isn't the case for all men and women, and I for one was no where near too weak to lift that box.

I understand that feminism is about choice... if a woman wants to let the man handle the 'bitch' work then that's fine.

But I do NOT like being pressured and, in the end forced, to do the same.

Mind you, Dustin was taking my side for a minute, until the four other coworkers who were bringing the garbage out took the side of Mary who wanted him to do it. So Dustin isn't really part of the problem.

Now my superiors and coworkers have left me feeling embarrassed, annoyed and less competent than I was before.

Discuss
have you been in this situation before?
If so, how did you deal with it?
Do you maybe have a similar problem?

It pisses me off when people do that. I work with a bunch of women. I used to work stock at a pet store so I am used to lifting heavy bags and what not. Every time these women want something moved they automatically ask a male. If it's something that I am by, I'll move it then I get lectured about how women should let the men do the lifting. I normally reply with something pertaining to the fact that I'm not helpless and I can do things myself and don't need a man to do things for me. I may be tiny but I can lift and move over half of my body weight without hurting myself. I really do not understand why some women make themselves seem weak and helpless. It ticks me off.

There's not much you can do about it since that's society's view on how women should be. I don't agree with it but it's hard to change people's mind about it. I would say something about how you were just find before they hired a man so just to leave you alone. Glad in your case the guy isn't a jackass about it.

Well, you could've also hurt your back lifting the garbage (which is why I'd be pushing for him to do it if I thought it was heavy-back pain sucks balls)

It wouldn't really bother me unless, for some reason, it would be counted against my work performance. Long as the work gets done, it shouldn't matter. Unless the guy was doing it to be a douche (which it seems his isn't) then I would have a big problem.

No offense....but I thought this was going to be some sexual harassment post and I was about to go on a business law rant .-.

Couldn't he also have hurt his back? Is the man's back somehow less valuable than the willing woman's? She's already said she was capable of lifting the items in question...

I know how that feels. I used to work in the furniture department of a walmart store. I was USED to lugging around about a hundred and fifty pounds of furniture. Well one day I needed to move one of the wooded bed frames which weighs about 300lbs. I asked somebody for help lifting and moving that bed across the aisle to its new home. One of my managers saw me with the other person who was a guy from another part of my department. After that day, that manager wouldn't let me work in furnature AT ALL. He made the other guy do it EVERY day. Which pissed me off major because the other guy often forgot about it because its not in his normal part of the department. I COULD easily handle it but instead the department went to shit cause I got written up every time I tried to handle it. Because I can't lift 300lbs......

thank you saisei

plus, I know to lift with my legs, not my back

wtf?

is your manager perhaps a little bit.... less than average intelligence?

I remember my sister worked for walmart, and the rule was 'you cannot lift more than half your body weight' or something like that, and she was stronger and thus weighed more than this 14 year old kid (she was 17 at the time) and yet they still wanted him to do the heavy lifting.

I agree with the post above, reading what happened to you is actually irritating. I found myself going, "What?" to my computer in a less then kind tone of voice. I am proud you did go to lift the box though at first - because if you can do something [regardless of gender, sexuality, colour...etc.] then do it.

I honestly find gender roles like, "Guys have to do everything for girls because we are stronger" to be stupid. Just flat out stupid. I am probably more feminine and weak then most girls. But thats besides the point.

I did have a situation like that, and here is how it played out;

The girl I was volunteering with was doing the heavy lifting and left me to do the cleaning tasks as we both agreed those to be our strong points. Cause well, I am pretty darn organized ^^
And she was stronger then I was and did not mind carrying things. [In all honesty...I complained about the thought of having to lift those stupid heavy boxes. >.>]

So were both going about our tasks and we were almost done, we were making great time. You know, until some other girls came to 'help' [they ended up talking and knocking over the garbage can onto the floor I just mopped!] and they complained about how I wasnt lifting the boxes and instead took the 'girls job.'

My friend was not offended, but I kinda was for her. She was done carrying boxes while they gave me a small lecture, she did the work in 1/10 of how long it would have taking me! Anyways. Im pretty sure everything they said was sexist against themselves, so I was not going to argue - as they were winning for me.

Until they took the mop out of my hands and gave it to my friend, telling her to finish the job. To which I took the mop away from my friend and told those girls that they were setting back the womens rights movement hundreds of years.

The whole situation ended with me and my friend half fast cleaning so we could leave, then coming back an hour later to finish the job properly.

___


How do you deal with situations like that? I mean, I dont want to just start yelling and arguing about something as stupid as a mop, but at the same time. Your telling people they have to do something because they were born a certain sex.I just find it so stupid.

As for you, I think you should remain confident in your abilities. You could lift the garbage right? Well, you know you can. Who cares if they see you as not being able to do so because you are a girl, - you can and did lift that garbage. If it means anything, without even knowing how heavy the garbage is - I probably could not lift it. And I am a boy =O
Clearly that means everything. Not. xD

How has work been since? Have you been met with another situation like that?
Are you once again confident in your abilities to do what you need to do and what you have done before the guy got hired? ^^

Hope things are working out for you =D

.Smores. <3