I just feel like I'm having 'one of those days'. I don't know. It is a term used around here that many people say when things aren't going their way.

I slept in, and felt like crying when I woke up because I had dreamed about my grandma who died of cancer many years ago.

I felt generally irritable and kept on being annoyed by strong odors, lights, things poking me weird, and tried to cheer up/shake it off, but it took a while for anything to really happen with it.

So I got to cooking, and ended up filling the kitchen with smoke.

I eat, get on the computer, and I see people talking about break ups, death, and how my Japanese is hard to understand [all the while I teach Japanese to 30+ people -_-"], I see people switching out their signatures that used to have my art, talking about things I just plain don't want to talk about..

I keep on thinking about my friend/ex bf who I recently found out is on heroin. And he reminds me of my close friend's new boyfriend... and I am worried that it might turn out the same...

I feel unsatisfied with my job, living situation, the food in the house, maybe I could even say my skills.

And yet I know I am a good person. I know I'm someone who has talents and great friends. Then why don't I feel happy? I mean I know, I said, it is 'one of those days'. So maybe it will pass this evening, or the next morning, or something like that. But there is a large part of me that just... wants this to pass.

What do you do in situations like these?
Any advice on the topics I mentioned?

If things irritate me or worsen an already bad mood I have, I generally avoid them until I feel better. I try to be generally upbeat most of the time, but when I'm in a bad mood it just becomes a hassle. So I take a break from things, relax, read a book, take a nap, etc... Because not only do I not want to make my bad mood worse, I don't want others to suffer for it if I snap at them. I generally avoid having pent up feelings and then broadcasting them on the internet...

If you feel like crying, cry. If you don't want to talk about things, don't talk about them.

Cooking gets better with practice and we all make mistakes.

We all go through slumps. Plenty of us have felt unsatisfied with our jobs.
Work to make things better. Sometimes things don't work out, but you need to remember that you tried.
It will pass. Just keep that in mind and focus on a brighter future.

I'm sorry you felt so cruddy, I hope today was definitely an improvement. I think we've all been there a time or two. In fact, I too had a grandmother pass away after battling breast cancer for quite some time, and I often think about her and it puts me in a funk too. When I have 'one of those days' I'm almost guaranteed to think about her at some point. I'm typically in one of those moods when my daughter has kept me from a good shower for two days, the bills are coming in and we don't have enough to pay them and we've pawned all we're willing to pawn, my laundry is piling up and the fridge is empty, then I start thinking about how I should get a job, but working for a boss makes me miserable, and then someone else will be raiding my child and I won't even be bringing in enough after paying them to do so, my dog both need a good grooming and some heartworm medication, but I can't afford that either... I could go on. Most days, I'm pretty positive, we have a roof over our heads and we are eating, my dogs and husband and daughter are happy, and I start chipping away at the laundry, my husband will let me sneak a shower in when he is home and can watch the kiddo, and a lot of the time, if I just wak up on the wrong side of the bed, I go back! I take a nap when my daughter takes her first nap in the morning and always wake up in a better mood. Never fails. And my husband knows me well enough to know that if I'm being super grumpy or bitchy that he just needs to feed me, and it's like a light switch, a night and day difference haha I'm like a whole 'nother person!

Yeah! I know! Man... Pretty similar huh xD
My grandma also passed away with breast cancer. She had several different health issues, but I think that was the downfall because she was too weak for chemo. Ah well... She was a great person, and I really love her. It is good to know people like her exist. (=

Today is in fact an improvement. XD
We're getting that chunk of laundry out of the way, getting ourselves to the store so we have more food. And... I woke up happy :lol: So that definitely helps.

Yeeeeaaah. Bills. Aha. I have a job right now but while they are switching around the schedule with the new manager, I have only been getting scheduled for 7 hours a week, while my normal before was 16-20. It's kind of a drag, and a good thing at the same time. Like... time to spend on something else, you know? I was just thinking like.... I got back into reading the Bible again recently, and my plan before was to get a bachelor's and head to Japan on the JET programme, but I don't really know anymore how worthwhile it will be to spend that much time and energy worrying about studies and money, for a pursuit that has the basis that this system will be around for a while more. When... I don't really know how long it will be. I just want to settle down with my family in a place where we can enjoy each other, with food, water, and shelter xD!! It's crazy how hard it is to get even those basics nowadays >o>

I don't want to get a second job. I actually...just want to move and have a kid. Working for a boss makes me miserable too! In the jobs I have been offered anyways. :/ My mind is strong, but my body, ugh... keep on getting bruises everywhere and I break my back, get literally bloody just to bring a paycheck home. I wonder what other options I have....? Maybe I can do some art, maybe web design (both which I have been doing as a hobby for years), and my husband can find something for himself.... but money is so bothersome to worry about! I long for a time and place where one can simply build a house for himself, and live in it without rent, without breaking their back, but that the house is the reward for their hard work in making it, and that they can make a garden, and eat their own food, maybe share with neighbors, and play with the animals.. with their kids. I am tired of this system, where everything is about money, sex, fame... I am tired of seeing such crude humour and racism, abuse.. It's just too much. I can't wait until I can get away from it.

This world can bring on so many emotions. It's strange, isn't it? What feelings and thoughts we can have? And with everything, we each have our own mind and perspective. Well... I'm glad today is feeling brighter. I just guess, after growing up in an abusive home, and seeing hatred broadcast so thoroughly, hearing people say I will be the same way, it is a relief that I am my own person, and I hope that some day I can do everything it means to support my family.

think of something else to do to take your mind off of everything. i usually go on
MyLifeIsAverage - Life is pretty normal today
it brightens my mood

My life has never been average. Having common ground with someone, I'd have to be a fool not to notice that. I will check it out though. Thanks for the suggestion.

haha. you're thinking the wrong kind of average. things like this are on that site:
"Today when walking down my stairs i noticed my mom hiding behind our desk, When i asked her what she was doing she said "Get Down! They will find you!" Nervous i started running around. Thats when my 60 year old grandpa came out with a lightsaber and a cape. Father Daughter Bonding. MLIA."

:)

haha nice :B

it always cheers me up :) omly thing is when im reading it in class and i start to laugh out loud...

Oh gosh xD I don't know that you're supposed to do that, lol. At least you're happy..? xD

always.
do you like twilight?
theres a site like it thats for twilight...

Twilight? No, not really.

still check it out
go to Home - My Life Is Twilight | I don't think I could be any more obsessed..
go to the top 100. the top 5 or 6 are anti twilight

lol....um... ok? i guess

it's funny

I think I'mma quit my job >o>