i think part of it is that i can't communicate with people because whenever i have said things in the past or try to be part of a conversation no one listens to me or just ignores my existance compleately

HIM, that's them failing at communication, not you. I wouldn't be suprised if people are just being very British and embarrassed by how you feel and have no idea what to say, instead of just talking to you. : /

Originally Posted by The Wandering Poet

Even JELLY is saying "don't go"... o.o wow HIM you're valued here... isn't that proof right there? All I can get jelly to do to me is hit me...

Daria doesn't fit in? o.o Really?

Why else do you think I picked an outcast as my namesake? Of course I often don't fit in. I live in a state that is entirely against most of my political beliefs. I am over-educated so I often have difficulty relating to a lot of people I know, and then there is the minority religion thing *again, see living in a state that is a bit...:roll:* I often don't fit in! Ohh and did I mention that most people in my age range and profession have kids? I is an oddball, and I will likely stay that way. It's cool, I embrace my oddballness. :hug:

I still say HIM, that if you don't enter my next contest... :feesh:

i say HIM does belong!
for one thing, like today, you made me laugh about the 'glare at the old man walking by' post.
so out of the blue and you really made the feeling in Star's thread much lighter.
without you it would have still been tense.
you belong and you would be missed!

it seems the only way i can express myself is it to be self destructive

HIM, i just wanted to say that the little we have chatted together I think you are a great person. There are going to be people who judge and ignore you. Let them be that way, you are better than them anyways. I too have a hard time fitting in, in real life. People just are concerned about themselves, and not others. I have been hiding out in my own little world with my boys (and guinea pigs :) ) for like two years now. It's fun and I think i'd rather be with my online buddies than with real ones.

Stay here and be loved!! Clearly everyone loves you here!! Including me!! :heart:

HIM_ROCK: you even got the Jelly-bean talking to you.

I can't add much more to what others have said before me.
You are a unique individual. I know that somehow you want to fit in somewhere, find a place where you belong. But trust me. It's not easy to find that spot and even when you think you've found it, you might have to leave fairly quickly. But keep in mind that these incidents will make you a stronger humanbeing. And some day, you will be an example for the fledgelings and people want to fit in with you. You have this aura about you, something I deeply admire.
I find it quite a pity that there is this huge ditch of water between our countries, because I would love to talk to you IRL.

From what I've seen here on Mene is that you always put yourself last, you help other people with their emotional stuff while you count yourself out.
Don't do that, rant a few times and rant hard. If you must rant against RL people that are close to you, if you can't do it verbally, why not write it down?
And why not do something, even you thought it wouldn't be for you? Go places you would normally never go. Talk to people you normally wouldn't step up to, they might give you some advice you could use or at least a nice conversation about something totally different.
And apply for jobs that seem to be out of your league, you might just have a chance.

I'm not much of a cheerleader, but I hope you'll feel better soon.

Rather unsettled at the moment seeing as auntie has come over and it's unsettled me

HIMzilla no likie auntie?

I do like my auntie it's just when she comes over she expects us to drop everything and act like she hasn't moved out of the country.

My dad is just pissing me off no end he just doesn't listen to anything you say to him but if you're talking to someone else he wants to know everything. And any alcohol or sweets I have to hide because he'll have them then blatantly lie and say he's not had them.

shouldn't he be hiding that stuff from you HIM_ROCK?

i hope your Auntie's visit was fun.

HE does try and hide it he'll go out and buy more beer to drink on the quite then hide the empty cans and bottles of cider, wine whatever is in the house will go missing without a trace.

I just don't know if I'm doing the right thing with getting a job and taking driving lessons. I just don't know if anything I've done is right.

I think everyone feels like they don't fit in once in a while.

I have Major Depressive Disorder, so I go through a lot of phases where I feel absolutely worthless. I also have a physical condition that puts me in a group that only less than 2% of the population can relate to, and even far less have the actual same condition I have. ^.^'

I don't fit in with anyone, anywhere, really. But I think that it's the diversity of a population that makes the entire thing stick together. So I try to be happy that I'm part of the whole rather than having a small group of similar people that I have something in common with.

However, it is also nice to be around the other lit writers or anime fans or role players... etc... These small groups do make one feel like they're not alone in the world. So I do understand.

Finding really good friends is really tough.
Hang in there, though, I'm sure you'll find some friend(s) who won't take advantage of you. I can definitely relate you, as I have DID, and PSTD, so it definitely makes it hard to find new friends, (or to keep friends, for that matter.)

I can honestly say, though I don't know you, I'd definitely miss you had you randomly disappeared and never came back. I've always enjoyed your posts around these parts. It'd be very sad to know that you'd left.

I can't really do much else, than repeat the accolades and the other things that everyone has said.

i just feel worthless because i was there for friends when they had a case of pretend depression and yet because i have the real thing they treat me like a lepper.

HIM, you know what that makes you? The BETTER PERSON! :hug:

Those people aren't your friends. They're leeches. True friends would be there for you when you need them, not just treat you like an outcast. You should only surround yourself with people who support you and back you up, even when you're not doing well. :yes:

If you can, perhaps joining a support group might be in your best interest?
Usually in support groups, people can relate to you easier, and they'll understand how you feel. And who knows? You might find some people in a support group that have the same interests as you, and you can form new friendships that way, with people who won't treat you the way those so-called "friends" you had before did.

I agree, that the people you're surrounding yourself with now are leeches. Friendship should be a give-take thing. This sounds more like a give-loose situation you're in. I think it's a matter of just finding the right people to be around. And knowing when to drop the wrong ones...

I think it'll definitely get better.

Sizz is right. Totally 100% right. You have a job?? Or you're still looking?

The best thing you could EVER do is learn to drive, get a job, and get yourself the hell away from both your family and your non-friends. They both have such a massive negative impact on you.

You're a great person, your family and aquaintances bring you down, and that is really shitty. Despite your depression you're a strong girl, you fight it, and you have a great personality. Fuck the people in your life who drag you down. This is where the internet pisses all over real life. Because on here you have the entire world to choose from for friends. In real life you're stuck with what's handed to you; family-wise and "friends" because of your location.

Dump the lot of them and get your arse out of there. Make a new life for yourself where you're free to be you without a bunch of people judging you because you don't fit into their personal definition of how people should be.

HIM, although I don't know you very well, I feel that you are an awesome person. I look at your posts in the forums and I think that you will get over it. You have a lot of Menewshan friends right here that are willing to support you. Truthfully, this is the only place I can really express myself, too. I probably have ADHD, but my mom never really got me treatment for it (probably because she is in denial.) In my family, you are literally expected to get top grades, and most likely go to medical school to get a degree. I am the bubbly, probably the most sarcastic member in the family, and my mom is trying very hard to mold me into the good, obedient lady she had always thought of me to live up to.

But you know what? It really isn't doing me any good. The advice Jelly and everyone else put up would be a pretty good idea to go by if I was old enough to drive and stuff, but I'm only 14. This is probably the only site I can express myself through. I really admire you, HIM. You have come this far, if you go, everyone will miss you greatly, including me.

Best wishes to you HIM!! :)

i know, right?????

mene would be a much less happy place without HIMzilla around.
the 'friends' who treat you like a leaper, like Jelly says, 'dump the lot of them!'
they will be the ones losing in this situation not you sweetie.
i always have a much better day when i get to read some of your random posts.
i cannot tell you how many times i have truly laughed out loud!
any you have made my day better for it.
so i say thank you and do not make me fly over there to kick your butt if you leave us!
HIM belongs and mene is better for it.
*hugs*

I have a job over at the school where my mum works as a lunch time superviser. But I don't deal with stress very well and I pull my eyebrows out.

There is nothing wrong with being different, just don't hang around them. trust me I use to feel the same way.. but in the end you will realise they are not even worth your time.. don't worry. there are plenty of nice people out there that would like to be your friend you just have to find them..

I has news on the medication front I've been to see doctor and I'm going down to one anti-depressant pill next week to see how things go.

I can totally relate on not handling stress well... what about it is the most stressful for you?
I find making a job into a small system helps me deal with stress personally. Turn it into a step by step system.

Like even for clearing a yard of sticks, you could 1. break the branches 2. stuff them into a bin 3. repeat till done 4. move bin to sidewalk (just an example)