The past few days have been really rough for me mostly because I found out that my now ex girlfriend is pregnant.

I've known her for 8 years and I thought she was always honest with me. We used to tell each other everything. We pretty much grew up together and been dating on and off for years. She told me that she wasn't seeing anyone else even when we weren't officially dating. I've also always told her if she did start seeing someone else that I wouldn't blame her and to tell me.

She moved out of state last year for school and while we weren't "together" so to speak, she'd always tell me how much she loved me and how much she couldn't wait to see me, how she wanted to marry me, and things like that. So we got back together about a month ago when she moved back in with her mom.

Friday she e-mails me telling me she's been messing around with this guy that I never even heard anything about until then and that she is now having his kid. Needless to say I didn't handle it well. I tried to call her and she ignored my calls. When I went to her mom's she said she was "out with a friend". She's been ignoring me since Friday.

I guess my whole thing is I don't understand how someone can be so cold hearted. I don't understand how she could tell me all these years that she loves me and wanted to be with me then go do something like that.

It has me questioning if she was playing with me all these years or if she even meant any of it in the first place.

Wow, that's royally fucked up, especially when you guys got back together again. At this point, I don't think its worth it for you to continue having anything to do with her. You deserve someone who won't lie to you or betray your trust. At the very least, you deserve someone who will tell you they're interested in someone else before things get out of hand.

That was my thought on it too. You'd think after knowing someone that long they'd at least have the decency to say something about being with someone. I am not judgmental and I would not stop being friends with her just because she did not love me back. She knew that too. Now, even if she did want to be friends I couldn't. I just could never trust her ever again and honestly, after shit she pulled it's not worth it. I don't have energy to deal with it. She knows me well enough to know I wouldn't hate her for leaving if it was just as simple as her wanting to be with someone else. It's the lying about things thing that I just can't understand.

I dunno, the whole thing just really makes me question if there's something wrong with me and the way I see things.

I don't think there's anything wrong with you. I would've reacted in much the same manner. It's other people that choose to be cowards and just run instead of put on their big girl panties and doing what needs to be done.

I keep asking myself what else she's been lying about though. It's just really upsetting me. I haven't eaten in two days and pretty much just sat home and cried over the whole thing. I guess I should just try to forget about it and leave it as it is.

I don't get where he even came from...she still won't answer anything. It's like part of me wants to believe that the e-mail was just a lie but the other part of me knows that it's probably not.

Well there's not much you can do about any of it so I say it's best to heal and move on.

Yeah, that's what I'm trying to do because I know no matter what it's just not going to work out. She was really the only person I talked to about personal stuff and things like that. I haven't told much of anyone aside from my sister what she did. She still hasn't contacted me. I didn't bother sending anything aside from replying to the e-mail, calling her, and a text. I don't think it's worth it if she's out screwing a guy either whether she's having a kid or not.

I agree with you completely. It may not mean much but I'm sure you have people that care about you on here that would be willing to lend an ear should you need it. If all else fails, us Life Issues lurkers will always be around.

Yeah, it helps to have people that will listen so I can at least get things out of my system. It wouldn't have bee so bad if things ended in a not so fucked up way.

I just hope that other people will see that she's not a woman to be trusted fully so they can save themselves a headache.

Yeah, I'm half way tempted to say something to that guy but it's just not worth the energy. I really hope she was lying about having a kid.

That's a messed up situation. I suggest you just completely throw her off your life. She's not worth the pain. She betrayed your trust and was messing with some guy and look, she's going to have his kid. Also if she is lying about having a child, that's even worse. I do hope she understands what she did and even if she didn't want you there for you, she could have asked. To me, it seemed as if she didn't want you to know that she wants you there but at the same time, just to fool around. )= Those are the people that are worse.

Yeah, I don't know what the heck her intentions were or how much of what she said is actually true. Before all this I thought she was pretty honest but now I feel as if she just could have been lying to me for who knows how long. I'm defiantly not looking to get back with her even if she isn't actually going to have a kid. I was hoping she'd at least answer why..then again, I kind of don't want to know at the same time.

isn't it funny how love and hate are so close to each other?
i mean one second it's all about the love and the next nothing but hate.
my opinion, or two cents, such that it is.....
i think she is ignoring you because she is feeling so guilty.
and that you wouldn't even have been told had she not gotten pregnant.
every one makes mistakes and then acts badly afterwards because you look at yourself like 'how could i have done or said that to someone i love?'
the way it is handled afterwards is what will show if she is a true friend and still loves you and wants you in her life.
i hope, for your sake and not hers, that she realizes how lucky she is to have had you in her life for so long and to deserve your love.
if she just bails on you all the way, good ridence.
it is not you or your outlook on things and how people should act.
it is really this world.
most people are 'throw away' people.
you know just chuck it away and get another one.
for God's sake, don't work on a relationship or a child's behavior,
just get yourself a shiney brand new one.
they won't have any flaws.
*wink*
yeah, right!
i hope you are feeling better after the huge shock.

I don't know if she's feels guilty or was just lying about everything. I'm still just confused as heck over the whole thing since it was right the hell out of nowhere. At this point, I honestly am questioning everyone's intent. It's irritating since I really want to believe that there's at least SOME people out there that are honest. I've always had trust issues with people and kept my guard up but this whole thing just made it worse.

I'm also just going to give up on ever finding a wife. I mean, it just doesn't seem worth it to me anymore. =/ Thing is that I'd always talk about having kids with her and raising a family and all that type of stuff. I guess part of me can't blame her but the other part of me just doesn't understand it.

I'm hoping eventually she'll grow some balls and talk to me about it but I'm not holding my breath.

I still feel like crap about the whole thing and pretty much just cry all the time. I think today I'm going to take myself on a shopping trip or something to distract myself from all the shit that's going on. She's one of the big things that I'm having issues with but I'm also having a lot of other things going on that just isn't easy for me to deal with.

I'm not the type to sit around and cry over a woman that obviously isn't worth my time but the whole thing is just a load of crap.

I guess one good thing came out of it, I can finish my teaching degree and move out of the country since I don't have her to worry about. =/ I planned on moving to either Japan or France to teach English but didn't want to leave her behind. Now that she's not int he picture I've been thinking about moving when I can finish that up.

I really think there is a special place in Hell for people who fuck people over like that... my Bf whom I am still currently in a toxic relationship with --yea I know I need to take my own advice... has been screwing me over and taking me for granted to the 3rd degree!

Moving on is the best thing though -- there will be someone else in your life much better who will treat you like you should be treated. My bf is bipolar and an alcoholic --- if you see any of those signs in anyone run -- I repeat -- Run like Hell!!

Yeah, been with the "crazy bipolar bitch" before too. Not fun. I just do not have faith in anyone any more. =/

That's not called for, not at all, and really messed up. If she really did love you, why tell you now when she's in this kind of situation? Maybe she wants you to help in some way but still not have any strings attached. Then again, why tell you she's having some other guy's kid then not speak to you afterwards? I would think that if she wanted a friend, even if she dated that friend, to help out she would be reachable. Then have her mother involved?

Something else might be going on here outside the whole pregancy issue.

I don't understand it either. She still hasn't contacted me at all and it's been nearly a week. I think it's just going to be one of those situations where I'm just going to give up. I mean, why keep her as a friend even if she could lie to me about something like that. I'd have a hard time being just friends with her anyway since we were really close. The whole thing still makes no sense to me. =/ I was hoping by now she'd at least tell me where the hell this all came from and how long it was going on.

She finally contacted me today. Says she was messing around with this guy for a while. She also told me that he hits her. I'm not too sure how much of her story to believe but the whole conversation just made me mad. I still stand by the fact that she should never have lied to me but the way her treats her according to what she says pisses me off.

I stopped talking to her because I was getting to upset over the whole thing. I'm still not sure if I should even bother talking to her any more. I just hate the idea of a child being put into a situation like that where there's domestic abuse.

Originally Posted by Mystic

Yeah, been with the "crazy bipolar bitch" before too. Not fun. I just do not have faith in anyone any more. =/

Well, when you're not looking is when you will meet someone worthwhile, best thing to do is have fun and focus on you although it will be hard as hell for awhile and you may feel like you are struggling to get(swim) to the top of a lake because you are isolated from this person, but after time your bitterness may carry you through a bit further until you finally reach the wonderful point of indifference helping you to move on completely with your life-- at least that's how I did it...

I just find the fact that she's been lying, is having a kid, and is in a bad relationship when she had a good one going more fucked up than anything. I'm never going to be with her again. I still have a hard time even thinking about it without getting upset.

Along with that I've been really stressing out over my heath, which is making everything worse. I really don't think I'm strong enough to really deal with it all.

Have you been eating Mystic?
If not you realllly should, I know you mentioned you were having trouble with it. :C When I'm down and don't feel like eating I usually just sip chicken broth or tomato soup, usually with toast.
Or pudding. Or ice cream.

I haven't been eating much. I've been trying vegetable broth and things like that. I'm sure medications don't help along with stress. I lost 15lbs in a week, which upsets me because I have a hard time gaining weight to begin with.

Oh no. :(
Do you have any diet limitations? Things you can't eat?