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I've Never Felt More Alone...
The past month or so people have slowly but surely have been removing themselves from my life, and this past week it has been like a chain reaction leaving me all on my lonesome.
My so called best friend started everything by breaking my trust. She spread vicious lies about me and did her best to try and break up my relationship. She wouldn't speak to me unless I initiated the conversation and even then she would always find some way of bringing me down. Last week when I told someone how I felt she denied everything that she has been doing and told me to get out of her life, calling me every name under the sun and as soon as I even thought about defending myself, she ignored me. She poisoned the minds of all my other friends, so now none of them will speak to me. A girl that I have been close with for the past three years and I've known for the past six years just cut me out of her life completely last Friday because I was too hurtful and spiteful and bitter, and this is all thanks to the lies of that other girl. To top everything off, she got her wish because last Friday the one person in the world that I trust more than anyone, the one person that makes me feel right when everything is wrong and the one person that I love more than anyone else dumped me. Over text. He won't speak to me now unless I initiate it, he won't give me a definite explanation of what changed and why he suddenly went from 'a break-up that none of us want' to 'I don't think that we should go out anymore'. He has made up a lame excuse of having an essay to do so he can't hang out with me, even though he doesn't have college again until Monday and it doesn't take four days to write an essay he already has mostly done. I feel numb just now, the reality of everything hasn't really hit home yet. Though he is the one person in my life that I thought would always be there, my constant. I'm terrified of losing him, but I don't know what I can do to stop him. I've never felt more alone and more rejected than I do now. Ever. I'd really appreciate someone to talk to...please? |
Ouch, that's quite a bit of bullshit to be going through. For your "best friend" I would honestly let the bitch rot on her own. It's not good to be stuck in such toxic friendships. There are plenty of people in the world, you'll meet someone who isn't a sack of shit who will value your friendship in time. Anyone who's ditched you because of the lies that were spread clearly doesn't know a thing about you and are thus not worth your time. People come and go.
As for your boyfriend, that's definitely suspicious. At the very least, he owes you a clear explanation of why your relationship is ending. I hope he eventually gives you one. |
Yeah, there's not any fear about me being in friendship with her, toxic or otherwise. She has single handedly ruined everything, so I'd be happy never to see her again. People do come and go, I just didn't really expect them all to dissipate at the same time. There's still one person that talks to me out of my friends, so I suppose that's something.
He was supposed to meet me last night, but he didn't bother coming through or letting me know. So I'm just going to see him at college on Monday, and I won't really get into anything with him for the simple fact I don't want to drag everything out for longer than it needs to be, and I can't even be bothered with this anymore. Living the life of a moleperson is looking mighty fine at the moment. EDIT: And he has a new girlfriend already...fucking fantastic. |
Well your ex is officially the scum of the Earth and an enormous douche bag. Just do your best to move on at this point.
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Yup. That's what I'm doing now, I've removed him from pretty much everything and deleted his number off my phone and on Monday I'm getting all my things back so I won't have to have that much contact with him other than two classes we share in college.
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Sounds like a good plan. Harness that rage and hurt and turn it into something productive and useful for your own well being.
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Thanks Vix. (:
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i am so sorry you are going through this Plateaux. why some people are like your 'best friend' is beyond me. they must have some sort of mental defect! but most probably it makes them feel better to 'thin out the heard' so they look better than they are. Karma will bite her in the butt tenfold! some day some one will do to her what she did to you. find someone new to make friends with and stick with the one friend who still talks to you. she is a true friend! the boyfriend with a new girlfriend already, i hope he feels your pain soon. he probably already had her in his sights before he even broke up by text with you. :eyes rolling: he seems like a real winner, by text????? grow a pair dude, be honest and as kind as you can to someone you cared about! sorry, dishonest people are not my one of my favorite things. i agree with Vix, find something to put your rage into to turn it to your benefit. if you paint, sketch, write or whatever throw all of this into your passion. much luck sweetie. |
Thanks a lot Hummy, it felt really good just to vent. <3 And I've sort of come to accept that hey, shit happens. xD
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yeah it does but when it happens to nice people it stinks. |
Bad things always happen to people that don't deserve it... :/
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I know where you're coming from. I dated a guy for just about four years, when my absolute best friend decided she liked him. So she got all our other close friends to stop talking to me (I couldn't do anything to defend myself, since they were all shunning me before I realized what happened). Then after succeeding with that, got him to break up with me and they started dating. Ironically he broke up with her a month later.
To say the least, I've never spoken to any of them. Not once, ever since the whole thing happened. I actually found I came out of the entire situation much happier. I realized how little most of them actually did mean to me, and now I'm dating a guy who is absolutely amazing. I've made new friends, and reconnected with old lost ones who are a million times better to me then they ever were. I hope everything gets better, and just remember. New, more deserving people will come into your life soon enough. <3 |
crappie friends are CRAPPIE!!!!! *shakes head* Karma is all i can say at the moment. i hope Karma bites her in the butt! |
Thank you Amelia, and I'm really sorry to hear about everything that happened. Though I am glad that things are going much better for you now. (:
I too hope karma gets them back, Hummy. Well...maybe not -all- of them. D; Meh...my friend count has been dropping even more lately and I'm still on the self-hate train and I still would give anything to be back with my ex...so yeah. Things haven't really improved much for me at all. D: |
Sorry about all the shitty things that are happening to you. I would'e just told her to get a life and not to interfere with yours. By text. She isn't a friend anyway, and neither is your boyfriend. Your 'friends' are probably just lazy scumbags, listening to her and not finding out the truth out themselves. I think it will be best for you to move on, meet some new people, and be a much happier person. How are you doing now?
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Aw, Plateau, that's just too much crap for one person to go through.
Honestly, I really feel like bashing something to bits. -.- My friend had this happen once, and we're only in high school. Needless to say, it was really bad, for multiple reasons (classified). But, it was good because she learned who her real friends were, because we were the only ones to not leave. :D I'm very very sure that you'll make new friends. In the long run, it's better to not have such backstabbing people as your friends. You'll soon make new friends who you'll keep for years and years and years and years. :hug: As for your ex, OHHH how I'd love to bash his head in. There's something fishy going on with him. While I think that it'd be RIGHT for him to give you an explanation (just to get rid of any curiosity/odd thoughts/etc), I think that it might also be painful for you to hear. I'm at a cross-road with this >.>.... In due time, things will straighten out, I think. Anyway, everyone of Menewsha shall be at your side if you need to rant! :glomp: If you have any other problems, I'd be glad to talk with you and just let you rant and stuff. If I can, I can give advice, too, but I dunno how you'd feel about getting advice from someone younger than you XD.... So yeah -- I really really really hope things get better soon! Don't self-hate too much 'cause you're perfect/beautiful/unique/special just by being yourself :heart: Don't let little douchebags like them ruin your life! :hug: |
Thank you both for your kind words, I'm feeling a lot better now, sorta like myself again which is good. I needed a change and I needed my own space and I got that, now I'm doing things which make me happy (like getting a mod position on an avi site to occupy my time, doing nail art, using my hair extensions and getting new body mods as well as going to gigs) so that's got me back to a place where I feel like I can move on.
As for new friends, I'm getting closer to new people at college now and last week I was out for a drink with a group of them, it was nice to just relax with no baggage and not worrying about what people thing. That was actually one of the things that got me feeling good again. As for the ex, less said about him the better. Mixed signals to the extreme, he'll flirt with me and bring up jokes that were from when we were going out and then he's gone and got another new girlfriend. :/ |
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You know, sometimes you have to go through all the horrible people to find the ones that are all worth it. If all of these people were just so willing to bow out of your life because of something 1 girl said, then they just weren't worth your time or your affections anyway. A person that really knows you, would know the kind of person you truthfully are and wouldn't let 1 person's words taint that without questioning what's really going on and talking to you about it first. And even then, the idea of dropping a friend just because of a falling out between two friends seems pointless. Personally, I'm more apt to leave a person that does gossip than I would the person that is being gossiped about. I mean, think about it, if they're saying horrible things about someone you know, and you know the person they're talking about to be an ok person aside from their words, why would you trust them? wouldn't you wonder what they're saying and telling others about you? I don't know. Maybe gossiping is just one of my pet peeves but I've always felt that way. Anyway, my point in all of this is that you're better off without all of these people. And the boyfriend obviously wasn't worth it. Now you're free to find someone who is. Just keep that in mind while he's being flirtatious and whatnot. At least you didn't waste more of your time on him. Granted, feelings linger even when you know things like that and it still hurts but you'll be better for all of this. You really will. I know I don' know you but *hugs* hang in there. focus on you. It'l get better. You'll meet new people and eventually get a new boyfriend and hopefully those people will all be deserving of you.
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I'm really sorry to hear that no-one's been nice to you since you've moved, that's never good. I've moved house but always lived in the same town, so I've never had that problem. I did worry that when I went to college I wouldn't make any new friends because I had pretty awful experiences in high school, but I'm glad that it wasn't the case. In fact, I've met some lovely people there, and going out with them in class breaks and after college some days has really cheered me up recently. How far away from your old friends did you move, if you don't mind me asking? @Empress: *hugs* Thank you for your kind words, and you're right, it's gotten better. Not back to how it was, but better than the past few months. I'm slowly beginning to feel more like myself again, even though I still want what I can't have. xD |
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