Major issues...mostly mom issues
 

*Warning. Long, slightly whiny post up ahead. Thank you, in advance, for anyone who bothers reading it.

I do believe I'm in need of serious help.
Problem is, I'm actually afraid to get help. Afraid of being laughed at for trying to get help for what my mother calls, "minor, petty issues". she's the one who yelled at me and told me to stop "dumping my problems on her". All I want was for to listen and help me out, like she always claims she would. But she lies. I don't want to trust her anymore. She scoffs at me, teases me when I cry, yells at me if I'm upset, and insults me everyday. And I don't know what I've done to deserve this treatment. I'll admit, I was an obnoxious brat when I was younger, but thsi contradicts entirely with what she keeps saying in her lectures: how parents should respect their children, how they should have open arms to them, etc etc. My mother has never followed her own advice.
I swear she tries so hard every day just to make me feel miserable. She puts me down, calls me names, tells me I'm useless, stupid, and unworthy of living in my own home. When I get upset or my face turns red or I start crying, she starts screaming at me and threatening to do anything to make me stop having these reactions. I get very paranoid around her, trying to take care of the details I might get screamed at for if I do something wrong, even if it's as minor as putting my textbook on my floor.
She talks badly of my friends, even though she's never met them. "He doesn't get good grades. He's stupid. She's just as unclear and scatterbrained as you are. All he does is play, not good. She doesn't even know what she's talking about. I heard from so and so that this person is a delinquent. Birds of a feather I suppose. A group of idiots." Now, my friends aren't top of the class in anything, just I'm not either. But I can proudly say that they're decent people. They'll never do drugs, smoke, drink excessively, none of that crap.They're respectful and kind and considerate. they help me out and listen to my problems and we're essentially like some sort of friends-family thing. I'm happy to be a part of their group. Isn't it important to have friends you enjoy being around?
Also, my mother doesn't respect my privacy, no matter how much she boasts that she is neither intrusive nor nosy. She goes through my drawers, school bag, closet, purse, everything, all on a daily basis. She would throw some of my things away without a second thought, she would rip up my papers, she would search aimlessly through my things and further disorganize my already messy room. Then she would start nagging me about her messed up my room is, and tell me to fix it.
She keeps telling me to be "consistent" and try not to be a hypocrite. But I've been told I have the mental abilities of a small child: how can I learn to do that without a suitable example? My mother certainly isn't that example. She's a big hypocrite. For example, I once got irritated at my brother who kept saying nonsense about real people, and I snapped at him. My mother told me to shut up and stop being so picky about these things: why couldn't I be like this outside, so no one could take advantage of me? Why would I care what he says?. I just want to yell in her face: "BULLcrap. Then why are you so picky about me? Why do you yell at me for a slip of the tongue or hand? Why do YOU care so much if I'm useless? If I'm stupid and obviously not worthy to be your daughter?"
She's also caused me to become very confused by human nature because of incidents like this. Why are people so picky when it comes to those they care about? Why would someone who supposedly cares about me be so cruel to me at times? How come I can't be myself without be looked down upon or insulted?
I just feel so helpless because of my mother and many other issues that can be traced back to her...maybe I'll tell about those later on, when my mind is slightly clearer...

I can't expect anyone to give me advice to solve everything, because this has been going on since I was six; it may be impossible to change. I just want some ways to cope, some advice on what to do in such irritating incidents...
Please help. <3

Her saying those things are verbal abuse, I say tell the school guidance counselor so the popo can come and give her a warning about harassing her children. D:

Hm... talk to an adult you trust about all that has been going on. The person above has given you some fair advice, although you wouldn't want to be put in foster care. I heard horrible stories about how the state can't keep track of kids. Also stories of abusive homes.

Anyways talk to an adult you trust that can fix or solve the problem, because you don't deserve this. No one does. Verbal abuse is just as bad as the physical kind.

@ Mrs. Fluffy Elizabeth: I don't want to sound difficult, I don't think I could do that, seeing as the last time I did, I got beaten for spilling "secret family information" to one of the teachers when I was in elementary school. The teacher told my mother, who then got angry and punished me when we were within the walls of our house. I could just tell the teacher not to tell my parents, but I don't know if it'd work. D:

@ LizzyCollinsDeArc: I naturally don't trust adults because of my parents, even though some of them are decent and kind... I can't gather up the courage to speak to an adult about things like this; I would much rather post it anonymously on the web for everyone to see than to do that. There are my friends' parents, who are nice to me, but I don't get to see them a lot because of my mother's restrictions. :/

I don't know what your relationship is like with your grandmother so I don't know if it would work for you. My mom was abusive when I was in elementary school. I told my maternal grandmother and my mom never did anything really bad to me again.