Basically, I just need a place to vent right now.

To make a long story short, I was married before, divorced, been divorced for going on 4 years now and still keep in touch with my exhusband. There's reasons we got divorced and now we only see each other twice a year but talk to each other for a few hours every day as friends. He lives across country and is with someone else, which I would be happy for him if she wasn't completely crazy.

With in the past few months, I guess for whatever reason he didn't tell her about me. I knew about her for the whole 2 years he was with her but I guess he never told her he was married before until a few months ago. As soon as she found out she called me from his phone and started swearing at me calling me a homewrecker and how I'm a slut/bitch/etc... when there's nothing sexual between him and I any more. So ever since then she started being more controlling than she was before and telling him he can't talk to me and being more violent towards him. She's been violent towards him before and now has a kid with him that's around a year old. He still talks to me when he's not home but it seems like now he's trying to hide the fact he talks to me even from him family, who knows that we were together so I don't quite understand what that's all about.

Today kind of pushed me over the edge when I found out he even went through the trouble of making a fake Facebook page to add his family and friends and never told me about it. That alone wouldn't have bothered me but the fact that he keeps telling me he wants me in his life then tries to hide the fact we talk bugs me and makes me just want to cut ties with him. I considered him to be my best friend but now I'm not too sure if he's going to do that kind of thing. He told me before he wants out of the relationship with her but he can't leave because of his kid. He's also told me about how bad things have been pretty much for the whole time they've been together but he never left her before the kid because he was afraid of being alone. I just feel that because they have a kid together even if he's not happy with being with her that I have no place in his life any more.

At this point I'm not too sure if it's worth the stress of always worrying if he's okay or if she hurt him again or if I should just cut ties entirely with him.

I think those two should seriously sort out their issues.
He hid the fact he was married from his wife for a really long time. He's also hiding things from you.
I can't blame her for feeling threatened, but she is overdoing it.

Personally I would step out completely and let the family be. Even as just a friend, his actions justify cutting him out.

Though regarding the violence, it's counted as abuse and he needs to see someone about that. Sometimes two adults who can no longer live together properly is better at raising a child than staying in the same house. I've faced that situation myself.

He's not married to her. He doesn't even want to be with her but they have a kid together and it was unplanned. I've told him it's not good for his son to be in an environment like that. He's afraid that if he leaves her he won't be able to see his son any more. I told him this morning during our daily chat that if he's going to keep doing what he's doing then I'm not longer going to be around because I'm tired of hearing about how much she hurts him and I'm tired of him trying to hide the fact that we're close. I'm just emotionally tired.

I think he's just afraid. He's afraid of losing the woman he's with but he's also afraid of losing you. But I also think it's a good thing he wants to keep you in his life, but it's not good at all that he's hiding things and he's being scared all the time...not to mention he seems to be giving you mixed signals and signs. That just isn't good. Have you talked to him about this?

Yeah, I have talked to him about it. I'm bluntly honest with him. If he tells me something I'll tell him my honest opinion without sugar coating it. I asked him why he has to try to hide things like that and his only reply to that pretty much was that it's "easier" to not deal with her knowing. That doesn't sit well with me because even if he doesn't love her he shouldn't be lying to her or me like that. It just bugs me.

We had a long chat about his lying last night and I pretty much told him if it continues to be a problem that I'm not going to be around. I don't like him being not only dishonest with me but I feel bad about her not knowing about me especially since he asked me to marry him again...I told him that it's not a good idea but still, things like that just complicate things.