For the past few weeks, I've felt sooo depressed. Not like the people on the medication commercials, but I've felt like I have nothing to live for. Not like I wanna kill myself or anything, but like if i were to die at any moment, I wouldn't give a rat's ass. I have alot on my mind. I don't have a best friend, and everyone else does. I have mommy issues, like the fact that she likes my sister more than me (she actually told me that so don't say that she doesn't). She hits me when my sister does bad (verbally and physically). People take me as a joke, always making fun of my "ghetto" ebonix "accent". I'm not good at school, and almost always have bad ideas, that I know are bad when I'm thinking them, all the time. Like my idea to be a webcam girl. Y'know, the girls on porn sites who just strip over webcams. It's the easiest way to make money! And I actually like being naked so it's not a big stretch on my personality. But do you see what I mean about bad ideas. I know that's a bad idea, but I still wanna do it when I become 18. But anyways, I just need someone to tell me that I'm being dramatic. I already know this, but I need reasons for this consistent behavior and these annoying ideas.

Edit 3/20/12: I feel better now. I went outside, made a friend who's just as funny as myself, and I've been feelin' good lately.

Have you talked to anyone about this, like a counselor or a doctor? If these feelings aren't going away, then it's time to let a professional know. They can help you learn how to deal with your emotions and get some help. :yes:

I don't think seeing a professional is worth it. I'm 21 and have been just like you since I turned 16. There isn't anything bad with it, it's just the time in your life that you need to find a way to vent. Through poems, writing, journals, friends, anything like that might help. Or take a piece of paper and pen/pencil and write out all the things you think isn't good about yourself and then all the things you think is good and compare them. And don't say you don't have anything good, everyone has something good about themselves. Technically all I think you need is a good friend to be there and let you vent to them. Everyone seems to come to me and says it helps. I have some friends who are like both you are I. My reason for keep on going isn't venting anywhere, it's pretty much just taking each day at a time.

If your mom hits you, there's always child services.

If you're not looking to go that far, exercise is always good for depression.

I didn't read that part apparently, but, I was sitting in the dark. Exercise does help, running or walking is a great way to help and so is music and daydreaming. Hey if you want another friend, I'll be glad to become your friend if you like. I listen to others and I only say something or give advice if they need it or more like if they want/ask for it.

Nightmare Of Dreamz, just keep in mind that what works for one person will not necessarily work for another. Venting on your own might have sufficed to keep you going, but it isn't so simple. Some people have to be counseled through their daily lives in order to learn how to manage their emotions safely, others may be experiencing physical imbalances that require anti-depressants to fix, while others may need to be taken out of dangerous situations. It's a difficult thing to judge on your own because we all walk into the situation with thoughts like "I don't want to be broken, this isn't right. Maybe I'm just not trying hard enough." You really can't be impartial when you're dealing with your own depression. :no:

Drexy, since I see that you're still a young teen, have you talked to anyone at your school about this? Teachers are trained to deal with students going through depression or having problems at home, while nurses could give you even more help. Even just letting an adult know about your situation could be a big help. They'd be able to guide you through the healing process and start you feeling better.

@Knerd, I deal with my own depression over the years and half of my friends who have depression come to me. So I deal with theirs as well. I would tell them to sign up to have their comments on here, but, there is no need. And I listed more than one thing that helps, there is always something else. You just have to find a way to forget about it. BUT I am still willing to become her friend even if I'm not in the same state. I wasnt saying she had to do what i did, i just listed off things that have helped me out, but, i ended up talking to family about little things and friends like alot of big things. Oh and it's not that dangerous, I've been suicidal before, I think thats more of the dangerous level fyi.

Oh no, shooting around ideas is always worthwhile, and it's always great to meet new friends. But I'm afraid that none of us here so far are actually trained to deal directly with these problems, so the way that we manage ourselves and advise our friends doesn't give us the authority to truly diagnose or direct strangers. Saying things like "going to a professional isn't worth it" and "all you need is a good friend" may be true for you, but giving such advice to another person can potentially be very harmful.

Depression can become dangerous and scary very quickly, so it's not our place to judge what Drexy is feeling. If she's reaching out for help, then she deserves to have her problems treated seriously. Having your issues brushed off as no big deal is never a good feeling. :no:

*stop being dramatic* sorry funny moment to show I read your whole post.

I agree that if you are school aged that you should talk to a teacher or a counselor. They are trained to help somewhat in these kinds of situations.

If that doesnt work for you, you could try art or writing even if its stick figures you would be suprised at how much it can help you vent it out. Its what I do when I feel a low coming on. (I am bi-polar schitzo effective) I pop in my earbuds and crank up the volume and write and doodle all my incoherent thoughts out on the paper. It keeps me from acting on some of my clearly bad ideas. And believe me you are not the only one that has bad ideas or acts upon them for that matter. It is normal as long as you can recognize that they are bad ideas then you should be okay. If you ever want to chat and just have someone to help you lighten the mood by all means contact me.

@Ivvy, yes art is always helpful, most creative things can be I think.

Knerd: I aint saying she shouldn't get help. If she wants to get help out there, by all means she can. I don't control her and I am not saying that she should be me. I'm not telling her to do or not to do anything I'm just trying to be helpful. And fyi I know depression alot better than most would, so don't say how dangerous and scary it can become. I Know enough about that and don't need someone telling me it all over again if I know it already. Yes I have an attitude with you, I only wanted to help out and this is what i get out of it. no wonder no one...nevermind that line but honestly helping out isn't a bad thing. Oh and the way I got through some of my problems was helping out others because once I helped them I learned of ways to help myself. >_<

Don’t worry, I know that you don’t mean any harm. Everyone here is trying to help and we’re all doing the best that we can. :yes:

With your experience, I’m sure you understand that depression affects a wide range of people and we all feel it’s effects differently. My personal experience is different from your’s, which is different from your friends’, which is different from every other user in this thread. It’s just always important to recognize that all we can do is give advice and try not to place our own experiences above those of another person. :)

The reason that I continue harping upon the need to treat each case individually is because I’m a teacher who works primarily with students who have mental and physical disorders. Quite a lot of my kids deal with depression and have for years. When I was trained in my degree, it was continuously stressed that amateur- and self-diagnoses can end up doing quite a bit of harm to the students. It’s all too easy to try treating a symptom instead of the cause, or to use a handful of responses as a blanket solution. In my case, instead of dealing with the problems themselves, it’s my job to identify potential issues and refer them directly to a medical professional or counselor. It’s safer for everyone involved.

So I’m sorry if it seems like I’m shutting you down, I’m not trying to. :)
But when it comes to giving medical and psychological advice on the Internet, it’s best to be extra careful. We don’t always know who is talking to us and what makes them qualified, so a little prodding and questioning is a good thing.

My mom asked me if i needed to go on medication but i told I dont need to, its just a phase and it went for a couple of years worth but it worked. Sorry didn't meant to pick up an attitude with you. Seeing that after the morning I have had didn't work out to well. Sorry for the attitude.

It's okay, I'm glad that everything worked out for you. :)

And hopefully this talk has helped out Drexy a bit, it's always good to see different sides.

yep yep :)

Everyone, thank you for your help. I'm still depressed, but thanks for caring. Although, there are problems with the given suggestions. I hate excersize, and I don't really know who to talk to. I could talk to the school counsler, but I don't know what to say to him. I mean, do I just say, "Hey. I'm Brittany and I have OCD with my lipgloss because of my self-inferiority issues and I have no best friend which is why I talk to myself so much...". Really, what do I say? And if I tell my parents I want a therapist, then they'll ask what's wrong. I don't want to tell them because I have to see them everyday and I hate my mom (I know that sentence made almost no sense because of its random-ness, but whatever.) Any more suggestions, maybe some to gain confidence and how to get over depression like you already have. And also some ideas of who I can talk to.

Um just be honest, don't go into full detail about it right away. Just tell him you have a problem and start from there. He'll probably ask questions too. But, if you think talking to a guy counselor is weird try asking for a female one to talk to. (I did over a different problem cuz it was too weird)

I think you should seek professional help as well. I suggest you either see a doctor, social worker, teacher or counselor as a first point of contact.

It is unfortunate that you feel your mother treats you differently to your sister and that you feel you have bad ideas. The fact that you feel that you have 'nothing to live for' and that you've felt this way for a few weeks is of concern to me. Which is why I suggest you seek professional help.

I feel like I really need to put in my two cents on the pornographic webcam girl idea(which probably won't help much with the fact you feel you have bad ideas, so for that I am very sorry). I feel that that's a horrible aspiration for anyone to have, let alone a fourteen year old that has their whole life ahead of them. There are so many ways to earn money, you don't have to turn to selling yourself in order to do that. If you stick in at school and do your best to get good grades, then the world is your oyster and you can in theory get any job that you want. Stripping for strangers shouldn't be at the forefront of anyone's mind.

Have you thought about starting a journal? I'm going to start a project called 'Dairies of Change' tomorrow (I was going to start last week but it started horribly so that never worked). Diaries of Change is basically a self-project where you take all the things in your life (be that your job, your appearance, your friends, whatever) and actively try to change it. You start off by saying what all is wrong (in your eyes) with your life and then you plan achieveable goals and steps that are not impossible in order to change your life for the better. Also, by doing this journal style thing (I'm going to make my one a tumblr blog) you can see that there is a brightside to life and when you reach the end (I'm going to do mine over a year) you'll be able to look back and see that you have made a great improvement.

As for making friends, and finding a best friend, you could always look into joining some clubs in your local area or some after-school clubs? (:

Originally Posted by Cassette

I feel like I really need to put in my two cents on the pornographic webcam girl idea(which probably won't help much with the fact you feel you have bad ideas, so for that I am very sorry). I feel that that's a horrible aspiration for anyone to have, let alone a fourteen year old that has their whole life ahead of them. There are so many ways to earn money, you don't have to turn to selling yourself in order to do that. If you stick in at school and do your best to get good grades, then the world is your oyster and you can in theory get any job that you want. Stripping for strangers shouldn't be at the forefront of anyone's mind.

Have you thought about starting a journal? I'm going to start a project called 'Dairies of Change' tomorrow (I was going to start last week but it started horribly so that never worked). Diaries of Change is basically a self-project where you take all the things in your life (be that your job, your appearance, your friends, whatever) and actively try to change it. You start off by saying what all is wrong (in your eyes) with your life and then you plan achieveable goals and steps that are not impossible in order to change your life for the better. Also, by doing this journal style thing (I'm going to make my one a tumblr blog) you can see that there is a brightside to life and when you reach the end (I'm going to do mine over a year) you'll be able to look back and see that you have made a great improvement.

As for making friends, and finding a best friend, you could always look into joining some clubs in your local area or some after-school clubs? (:

Thank you for that great idea! I think I'll try that. I'll keep mine on my website (link to it is in my siggy if anyone would like to check it out.P) Although, I hope I can do better. I'm bad at school. I think I'm stupid. I always forget my work (short memory. Sometimes II can't even remember where I'm walking to inbetween passing periods at school). And nothing sticks to my brain. Info just goes out of it. The only things I'm good at out of my classes are:

Math = F
Social Studies = B
Reading = A-
Science = F
Spanish = B
Gym = D

See! I'm even bad at gym! Oh well. I hope this plan works cuz I'm pretty fuckin hopeless right now.

You've done really well at social studies, reading and spanish though. When I was fourteen the grades I got were pretty abysmal. Though I've gone on to further education. It's not all doom and gloom. With what you have so far, if you stick in, you can still achieve something. C:

I agree with Cassette. With grades like those, maybe one day you'll be a famous international journalist! Or maybe an interpreter!

Fun fact: I flunked P.E. when I was 10. I flunked English at the same time. Now I've got years of proofreading and copy editing under my belt (and am a member of an honorary literature society) and I've met my personal fitness goals over the past year (but I still can't run a mile... baby steps! :))

I was also really bad at remembering to do or turn in homework. It took me a long time to come up with a personal system for myself so that I'd always have what I needed, but I still made mistakes, even in college (and work for that matter...)

What I have learned, though, is that teachers are usually pretty understanding and are willing to work with you if you show initiative and put forth genuine effort. Maybe next time you forget something at home, you could ask to turn it in the next day for partial credit? And if you get poor marks on homework or a test, ask to stay after school to go over what you missed or don't understand. I had a chemistry teacher that would let you re-take tests for up to half credit on problems you missed the first time you tested (so it would be your original score plus half of your new score on problems you fixed). Great teachers will really work with you, so don't be afraid to ask them for help you need.

Originally Posted by Drexy4ever

Although, I hope I can do better. I'm bad at school. I think I'm stupid. I always forget my work (short memory. Sometimes II can't even remember where I'm walking to inbetween passing periods at school). And nothing sticks to my brain. Info just goes out of it.

I don't think you're stupid; I think you just lack motivation. I know that when I'm not motivated I become forgetful and tired. You should find something that interests you and pursue it. Joining a club or finding people with similar interests will help take your mind off things and is also a great way to make friends.