A few years ago I met someone online. We became fast friends and for a while now we've been RPing, writing stories together, talking every night... and about a year ago I realized I started to develop a crush on her.

The problem is... she's straight. At least I believe she is, since she has shown no interest in girls in the past at all. She's very open minded and supports LGBT people and relationships and she knows that I am pansexual and panromantic. But for all accounts, she has only shown me that she is straight, straight, "I like guys" straight.

But in addition to her being straight her family is very religious and highly involved in her, and I worry that if I tell her they may find out and... well, she's in college but her parents are still a large part of her life.

She also made it very clear that she thinks of me as a sister... I've been family zoned from month 6.

I don't know what to do... It's been almost a year and through talking with my roommates they've helped me realize that it isn't just a crush anymore. I know that, at the very least, I've fallen in love and that I want to TELL her, just to get it off my chest and out there, even if she doesn't return my feelings and tells me so. I don't care if she doesn't feel the same way... but I'm so afraid of losing her...

Man, that's rough. :/ My heart goes out to you, Bane Rie. I'm pansexual/panromantic too (though because not everyone understands what that means, I usually refer to myself as bi for simplicity's sake), and I've fallen in love with a straight friend of the same gender before. I already know how tough that is, and then to couple that with the fact that this girl has the family/religious situation she does? I'm really sorry. :/

I understand your desire to simply tell her, and I would encourage that. To tell her and minimize the risk of her parents finding out, I would suggest a phone call would be the best way to go. As long as she was totally alone when you told her, I don't see how her parents would find out at all, unless they're so extreme that they wire the phone or otherwise record what's going on. If for some reason a phone call isn't a plausible option, send her a text message or email telling how you feel. If you're worried about her family finding it, then you could simply request that she deletes the message(s) after reading and talking to you about it.

I do agree that you need to get your feelings out to her. Even if she rejects you, it will help you to cope with your feelings. You may always love her, but the love itself may not hurt nearly as much if you don't have to hide it from her anymore. And if she does reject you, then that may give you closure, and you can finally start to get over her. Some people choose to believe that closure doesn't exist, but it very much does.

If you ever need to talk, my Mailbox/Visitor's Page are open. I see you also have Yahoo, and you could add me on there as well and IM me anytime.

I'm pansexual too. xD LOL We're gathering in one thread.

I was in a similar position as you. The girl had no interest in relationships in general but seemed mostly straight and she was from a conservative Chinese family. I just went straight out and told her my feelings just to let them know and get it off my chest. It went well and we're still good friends.

HeartMoogle gave some good advice on how already. Make sure to tell her that you don't expect her to return the feelings but it helps you a lot to get it off your chest. A good friend will understand. It will become awkward, but you have to make sure that you clearly state your feelings, treat her as always and make sure to read the signs from her and get her to properly state her feelings if she's uncomfortable or anything.

I am also pansexual xD!

I have been in a similar situation. The girl and I are still friends too.

HeartMoogle and Pa-Chinko pretty much said what I would've said. Tell her but then just treat her the same way you always have.

It's like a pansexual party up in here. Haha.

I had the same issue in high school. Fell in love with someone I was friends with since before we could remember. She was straight as they come and it killed me to know that I would be nothing more than friends with her for the longest time. I did tell her once I sorted out my feelings. We stayed friends until we lost touch in college. I just told her that even though she may not feel the same about me that I did love her. She took it well, thankfully.

I had another friend who I thought was straight until I told her I loved her. We dated for almost three years. You just never know where things will lead. I personally think it's better to be honest with your feelings anyway. If you have a way to talk to her in real life then I would do it then. If you only know her online, just remember people are not always what they seem over the internet and maybe meeting her might help with the crush situation.

Just tell her! Her family wont find out -- and if they do, then she must have told them, and she obviously doesn't care what they think. Anyway, the relationship wont change if you're truly friends. She might even start thinking about her own sexuality and things might turn into more.

I've been pansexual for a year now, and even though I haven't had many close friends in the 17 years I've been on this Earth, I still understand friendships and romance enough to give advice.

Hope this helps. <3