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Edit: Please delete this thread, if possible. :D

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Well he admitted to loving her before you but that doesn't mean his feelings haven't changed. You've been together for 11 months so he might just be in love with you now....not her. You really just need to talk to him about it. Ask him how he feels about her loving you and then tell him your position. Tell him you love him and that if he leaves you for her you'd be really hurt by it. You arent' telling him what to do but you are being honest.

Well I'm pretty sure he understands she would be hurt if he left her for someone else. But if it's going to happen it's going to happen. Honestly if he's having so much issue over it then maybe he doesn't know what he wants. Did he love her and then date you because he thought he couldn't have her?

I would just be flat out and honest, not passive. If you have emotions he needs to know and see them. And you need to tell him he could lose you over this. But in the end it's his choice to make. Sure, you could leave him first but I personally don't agree with that, not until you talk it over. If he just can't make up his mind or give you a straight answer then maybe.

@Usako - I don't know if he would know that she would be upset- my ex left me for a 14 year old freshman in highschool and he didn't think I would have a problem with it....thought we could still be best friends.....after he dated me for 8 months and knew me for about 8 years as good friends.....I was like, "HELL NO"

Thank you for all the insightful responses. :D

I tried talking to him about it, and he says that he doesn't love her... but he doesn't want to hurt her (if I remember correctly, she's had a difficult home life or something...) by telling her that he isn't interested. I tried giving him my (mostly unbiased) opinion, but he said he still wasn't sure.

I suppose the situation has improved to some degree. Though I'm still extremely uncomfortable with the fact that he isn't willing to tell this girl the truth straight out (especially since this girl has been acting like they're "going out" according to him).

In the end this guy needs to respect YOU, crow. This is obviously bothering you, so you will eventually (sooner than later) need to tell him that you are his girlfriend, and that if he wants to stay with you he's going to have to respect you as a person and tell the girl to go away. If he won't do that, he's not worth your time, trust me.

It would be another thing if he hadn't had feelings for her in the past, or if she didn't currently have feelings for him, but it's not. She's dangerous to your relationship and he shouldn't be hanging with her, because, again, it is disrespectful to you.

Make it clear that she makes you feel very uncomfortable, and that you would appreciate it if he made a decision, because this isn't something you should live with.

Also, this isn't a jealousy thing, so if he tries to tell you that you're jealous, tell him to F off. Because, like I said, this is a past love interest, not an old friend. It's his responsibility to figure out what his problem is and fix it one way or another.

Honestly, if he isn't willing to be honest about being in a relationship with you leave his ass. Does this girl know he's with you or is he pussyfooting around the fact that he's with you? It might sound harsh and it's probably not something you want to hear but if he won't even tell this girl he's with you then he's lying about wanting to be with you and not being interested with her. You need to put your foot down and tell him that he needs to be honest with her before things get out of control. It's disrespectful for him to do otherwise and that can cause a whole lot of other issues.

Hey! I just want to thank you all for your wise words. :D

We had several long discussions about it, and he has decided to tell her that he can't reciprocate her feelings. A rather good outcome, if you ask me.

Once again, thank you all for your input. It was great having some outside opinion.