So, it seems lately that she's been hanging out with her assistant manager a lot. I mean, a lot. Normally, it wouldn't be any of my business, nor would it be my problem, however, she came over at 12 AM last night, screaming at her now ex-boyfriend, because he "didn't order food, no one was open, he was cheating!!". It seems to me that almost all of the relationship problems they have stem from her. The woman in question is in her late 30s, and dresses like she's 16. She has a child already, but that doesn't stop her from creating drama and doing hard drugs.

Anyway, I want to get my friend away from her. I don't know what they were doing last night, but she was on some sort of drugs, and her ass. manager was egging her on the entire time to flip out. They NEVER had these problems 6 months ago, not until her assistant manager came into the picture.

I fear that things will progress, doing some serious drugs, intense drinking (He had to carry her up the stairs of his parents house because she was so smashed. She's 19), and other things. How can I confront her, and help her with this? I know she has some serious insecurity and trust issues, but she's a great friend, and I miss her when she's not being dramatic. :(

I was considering sending her a text saying, "What happened last night was inexcusable, and I feel that your ass. manager is causing this. We did order food, and it did take an hour to get here. If you don't grow up, and act like a mature adult soon, you'll lose more than your boyfriend. You'll lose two very good friends." I know at this point she needs a real friend, and this woman is NOT it! I know for sure that she's going to create a hell environment for my friend at work if she friend-dumps her, but it really needs to happen!


Side note: the first thing this woman did when I met her was insult my style because "my shoes were cute but my clothes were not". WHAT?!

Currently, she gets coke from her ass. manager, along with adderal, and some pot. The pot is the least of my worries, but she's doing coke and pills almost every day. Knowing my friend... She's pretty dumb and would probably do heroin, meth, or crack if it was handed to her....


Another thing that bothers me: Every time I try to hang out with her, her ass. manager calls and insists that she has to come over immediately, and if she's not there in 5 minutes, she gets a text every 10 asking where she is, then she gets guilt tripped. Fourth of July, "Well, if you're not coming over in 10 minutes, Im just going to bed." She does plenty of things like that, that essentially say, "Come see me, or you're ruining my day!". She's also terribly disrespectful and rude. She'll just show up at my friends ex-boyfriends (when they were together. Now Idk.) business, and start demanding things, throwing a shit fit, and insulting people.

Also, sorry that this entire thread is just a huge lump of mixed thoughts.

First of all, if this girl has serious trust issues it's going to be hard to start a conversation like this. There's a real chance she will misunderstand, so before talking to her make sure she knows your intentions are pure and for her own good. Trust issues are hard enough, but if she's using a lot (especially with cocaine, I regret knowing from experience) she will be hard to reason with.
Make sure you keep this in mind, because you might lose a friend trying to help them.

I really think texting her about what you think is not the best option, it's not very personal. What she probably needs is someone friendly from her environment to talk to her. And by talking I don't mean telling her what to do, and what not to do. If you want her to realize what she is doing is messing up your friendship, and even her relationship she will have to see that herself instead of being told.
So my advice is to talk to her, face to face, and ask her what is going on. Ask her what she wants to do with her life, and if she thinks what she is doing is wrong. When I was using, my biggest problem was not caring enough to think. Untill someone helped me think, by asking suggetive questions.

That's all I can tell you, I hope your situation works out for the best. C:

In my experience, people who do a ton of hard drugs like cocaine aren't worth knowing anymore, especially if they're doing it "every day". The coke changes them, corrupts them.
There are reasons I call cocaine (and other hard drugs) the devil.

Even after they get clean, they are never the same person anymore. It doesn't mean they can't be a good person again, but they will not be the SAME person.

As all was stated above, it's very true that it's hard to reason with someone going heavy. I just wanna say that Mene has your back and we'll be here because Spam already said what I think should be said. Let us know how things go, and your emotions and what not. Good luck.

Monstahh, I'm glad to see you edited your post. What you're saying is probably true in most cases, but personally my past experiences with drugs have made me a better person. Not the drugs themselves, but understanding what a user or addict goes through every day.
Before, and while I was using I never really cared about anything or anyone deeply. And now I try to help people, with personal, mental, drug, physical or whatever kind of probem they are dealing with. Somewhere along the way I learned what it meant to truly love and care about everyone, not just the people closest to me.

Again, I'm not saying what you think is wrong. Everyone has had different experiences, I just want you to know that this is not always the case. C:

Something like this is always really hard to handle. My sister, she's older than me got heavily into drugs. It started with pills until Meth was her drug of choice. Watching someone waste away like that....it's not something I'd ever want to see again. They become extremely hard to reason with or be around. Every time I saw her I either wanted to cry or punch her.

You have to get to your friend before she becomes to deep in that world. Because once she's in it's going to extremely hard to help pull her out until she's ready to be pulled out. Sitting down with her is probably going to be best. Let her see all your emotions that's your scared for her, that you're hurt by what she's doing. You literally have to lay your heart on the table and let her see it all.

And whatever you do, do not enable her. My mom did that to my sister and it made things so much worse. She has to know from you it's not ok. It took my sister a good two-three years to completely kick her addiction (well she'll never completely kick it) and it took a lot of heartbreak. I wouldn't speak to her for the longest time. I let her know that I wasn't ok with what she was doing and that helped her want to get better. My sister and I are super close so she missed our relationship. I told her I would never see her if she was going to be a druggy. I think that helped the most.

I hope this helped in someway!

I think I finally decided on what I'm going to do - Save up a little money, and ask her to take a day trip with me somewhere, and tell her. Probably go shopping, then eat lunch somewhere. Once we get our food, I'll probably spill it, and explain why hanging around seedy people is bad, and how it's affecting us all. She's a dear friend, and seeing her in this situation that she puts herself in is so painful. :(

I think that's a really good idea!

Go for it, let us know what happens and how things go! Take it slow, step by step but definitely do it. :)