Terrible accident
 

So it's bugging me. Last Monday I went to run some errands. When I got into the parking lot of my first stop, i circled the parking lot and when I got back around I noticed a kitten laying on the ground. I thought OH NO!!! and ran over to it. I knew right away that it must have been one of the kittens from our backyard. I'm not sure what happened, but I accidentally killed the poor thing. As soon as I picked it up and told it that everything was okay, it passed away. Several days before, we had see it and some of it's siblings in our backyard, but couldn't catch them. I keep thinking that if I hadn't had the van parked up by the garage, it wouldn't have climbed up inside it. I cried and cried while hubby buried it, after i brought it back home. I was hoping I could save the poor thing, but I couldn't.

Tonight it's momma and siblings were in the backyard again and all these terrible feelings have come back. I feel bad because momma was watching the babies play and I can't imagine how it would feel to be missing one. All because of me. I know it was an accident, but I still feel really horrible about it.

To make things worse, i should add, this monday another one of our stray kitties got hit by a car and I had to console it so it could pass away. and then that night, we found a tiny baby kitten that had died.

I'm so upset and don't know how to deal with all this. Sorry if I don't make any sense.

Death is very, very hard to deal with. :(
I'm so sorry to hear this.

I wish I knew what to say to help,
But I just wanted to let you know that I read your thread and I am here for you when you want to talk. [hug]

Thank you Ava. [hug] I feel a little better today, but only because I had something to do.

llonka, I can only imagine the feelings of grief you're experiencing after the kittens died...I hope you can eventually move on. Like Ava I don't really have any words of comfort for you, sorry for that, but I also wanted to let you know I read your posts and I'm glad to hear you're feeling a bit better today.

Thank you Ling. I just felt so bad for the Momma kitty. It was cute how she was watching the babies play and then a wave a guilt and grief hit me because she was missing one, all because of me. [cry]

You told it everything would be OK. and it believed you and was able to pass away instead of lingering and suffering. While it was an accident you were able to make the passing easier for the animal. If Momma is a stray then she innately knows that life is going to be tough and not all of her children will make it. Sad? Yes. But you were able to ease their passage. Positive note you won't be haunted by kitty ghosts!

Thank you Longie. [hug] I suppose that's true.