• I really do.
  The more you break my heart, the more I want to be with you. It takes someone special to hurt me.
  
  I got into this online... thing. This sweet, adorable boy, we talked on AIM often and we cybered. I've always thought cybering was a joke, but I really liked him. Here's the first problem though: I knew all along that he had a girlfriend in real life. I've never liked her and not many people do; she is controlling and makes him feel bad about everything. Anddd she is not good-looking, either. I got this sick smug satisfaction that he spent time talking with me online rather than being with her. We were going to meet in real life later this month or next, and we were going to do the things we pretended to do on AIM, in real life. He told me a few times he wanted to "make love" to me. I'm a virgin, and we both knew he wasn't going to be my first. He respected that. He said though, that if I chose him, he would make my first time so perfect. He said so many sweet things. He said I was the perfect girl.
  
  However... he still talked about his girlfriend sometimes. He came to me crying when they were having problems. He mentioned her sometimes when I asked what he did that day. Recently, I asked him what he thought of his girlfriend, what he thought of me, and what we were doing. He told me he felt like an asshole and he was leading me on. It hit me hard that he would choose his girlfriend over me, even though it's so obvious -- she's part of his real life; I'm not. He apologised profusely and told me he wanted to stay friends and still meet. I wanted the same.
  
  I went about my regular internet business (lol) and here is where the second problem arises. In one of my myspace groups, there was a thread about relationships and one boy said he felt like he had just been used. Knowing he was a friend of the boy I also felt used by, I messaged him and asked. It was indeed the same person. The boy I had just messaged made our conversations public via a new thread in the group. The boy who used us saw it; we talked and he said he never lied to us, he just didn't know how to control his affections for both of us, that we were the only ones he did this to, and it wasn't something he had ever done before and would ever do again. We both forgave him. We all still remained friends. We messaged the owner of the group to delete the thread.
  
  A few days later, the third problem surfaced -- a third person, whom this boy had also sweet-talked and cybered with. A new thread was made and more girls revealed that he had talked to them the same way, or tried to. Once again, I wanted to work things out with him. He wouldn't. He told me that the other boy and I were the only ones and everyone else was lying in an attempt to break up him and his girlfriend, and then he blocked me on AIM. He later messaged me calling me a stupid cunt and told me to kill myself. This whole time I had been NOTHING but kind and supportive towards him. He acted the same way towards the other two he used, even blaming the boy for planning the whole thing so his girlfriend would leave him.
  
  We haven't talked in a few days. He and his girlfriend are still together. I'm not surprised; his girlfriend is pretty gross (not even saying it out of spite) and she knows she will never get another boyfriend half as attractive. I don't know what to do. It's not over yet. The third girl is going to upload her text messages with him as proof. She, the other boy, and I are not over this yet. I know it's just the internet and I should get over it, but we were going to meet, and that made it MORE than "just online." I still want to be friends with him because, like I said, I love assholes. I still have the options of messaging him, texting him, or calling him, but I don't want to seem desperate.
  
  Help? :/
  
  Yes I know this was super long; sorry about that.

Since it is just an online relationship he probably didn't take any of it seriously. Just remember, it's easy to lie online about anything. I doubt he even meant the part about meeting, sorry to sound harsh about it. If I were you I'd try to find someone close to where you live. Internet relationship's aren't worth the time more of the time, especially with guys like that. I'm not against internet relationships, but the distance makes it hard for a lot of people to get into serious relationships, especially if they're young.

I would move on, put it behind you as a bad experience.
I speak a little bit from experience here, I met a guy in an online game (not saying which etc ), and developed what I think were feelings for him, and he said he had them for me. There was talk about meeting, and making a go of things - which in hindsight was a terrible thing for me to do as at the time I was also engaged (I still am), but I was feeling neglected in my relationship. The online guy was nice and paid attention to me, so I turned to him, and he encouraged me, even though he knew I was engaged.
But, I realised there never could be anything, told my fiance who was amazing about it all and I told the online guy that I was sorry but I shouldnt have done what I did, and it had all been a bad mistake.
Which is when online guy turned into an utter asshole...

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that what you present online can be totally seperate from who you are in real life but a person's actions can give clues to who they really are.
I dont think we can totally hide who we are, and the guy you like sounds like a real ass, and if he can do this to his girlfriend, there would be no guarantee that if you and he were to have a relationship that he would not do the same thing to you at some point down the line.

Interent relationships can and do work out - but they are tricky for the most part because the distance can make it that much easier to lie about everything..


edit: and whilst I fully admit that I was not an innocent party in what happened in my personal experience, the fact was that the side of him that came out when I tried to 'break it off' was something I was unaware about, and if I had not done that I could have put myself in a potentially dodgy situation

-laughs- when I read the title I thought you meant the part of the body xD

Awww, Caroline, thats sad. :(
I understand completely how it feels to have the rug pulled out from under you like that. And then to find that you weren't the only one he was doing this to? Thats so cold!
I get really invested in online relationships with certain people, and one guy is exactly like that. We've been friends/dating/engaged/vicious enemies in a cycle spanning eight bloody years. Don't get caught up in the cycle!

Its really noble that you still want to contact him, but he's probably just going to think you've got ulterior motives and/or really want him back, so give it a month. Long enough that he starts to wonder and maybe contact you first. :3

Then, if HE'S desperate and contacting you because he needs someone to make him feel better about his own pitiful life, you have the upper hand and can dominate the conversation.
Plus points if you manage to talk to him about a hot, new romantic prospect.

thats horrible.
its not like you would want to be with him anyways.o.O unless you didnt care that he was cybering with everyone and their brother.

That is just sick. I can't stand people like him. It doesn't matter how terrible you may think his girlfriend is or how many people may not like her, she is his girlfriend. You shouldn't mess around with people's relationships like that. It's always better to just stay away from people who are involved in a relationship, it saves a lot of heartache for all of you, yourself included. Have you ever stopped to think about how she feels? Why she's the way she is? She probably knows something isn't right, that he's up to something, so of course she's going to be controlling and pissed off. People know when something's up. And even though this was an online thing, he is still cheating on her. You are letting yourself become what everyone hates - the other girl. The homewrecker. No, it is not entirely your fault, it is his fault too, in fact more so, and she should probably dump him, but that isn't for you to decide. The fact that he wanted to meet you and have sex with you and stuff is just terrible, he wants to take the cheating all the way. Not to mention he's apparently cheating on her with a bunch of other people. You are just one in a group of who knows how many people he's doing this to. You are not important to him, you are not special, you mean nothing, and you should not even be his friend. The best course of action would be to just stop talking to him entirely, and cut off all ways he can communicate with you, block him, whatever. You do not want your first time having sex to be with a loser like this. Save it for someone special who you're in a true relationship with who you love, and who loves you back, not for some idiot who's cheating on his girlfriend with you and who knows how many others.

Wow, well first of all, if he was juggling two relationships at once, no matter if on was in real life and the other online, he should have made the choice in the beginning to either dump his girlfriend and be with you, or just tell you he wanted to be friends in the first place so you wouldn't get hurt. I really don't know what else to say except move on like everyone else says. My girlfriend and I have been together for 5 years on sunday and we started out as an online relationship and now we're just long distance. We've had some bumps in the road yeah but in the end we plan on staying together forever.

If that guy really meant that you were the best and everything he should have made the decision in the first place rather than just keep leading a double life. I know you said you like assholes and everything but still, that's not a reason to get hurt.

Eh, I've been in a similar situation. The only difference was that the person never mentioned they were in a relationship with someone..

But yeah, things like this suck. People can be sneaky and idiotic when they're bored and not getting anything out of their current relationship. Just try to move on the best you can, remove him from your contact list, even though it might be difficult. Make some new friends. And try to forget his sorry ass.

• Thank you everyone, for reading and responding. >.<
  
  mystic kiwi ||
  That's true. :[ Honestly, I never thought I would get emotionally involved with someone online. I feel rather pathetic just thinking about it.
  
  sayuri ||
  I also started talking to the online guy because I was feeling neglected and lonely. I had been out of the country for months with no phone to use, so my only form of communication with friends was the internet. I guess I treated it too much like real life. It's good that you got yourself out of your situation with the online guy, and I'm glad you and your fiance were able to get past it. :)
  
  Rvaya ||
  LOL. Ewwyy xD
  Well, this guy is the Goatse of assholes.
  
  mesic ||
  Eek, eight years? I hope you can break free from that cycle and work things out soon. :<
  I was thinking of doing exactly what you suggested. :D
  
  Tuba ||
  Nah, I don't want to "be with him"; I just want to know what's going on, I guess.
  
  Vickicat ||
  I know it's a terrible thing to allow someone to cheat, as bad as I or anyone else believe their relationship to be. I never planned on having sex with him though. He respected the fact that I believe one's virginity is something precious. I knew that if I lost it to him I would regret it so much.
  
  tzubake ||
  I agree; I don't advocate cheating but I felt so bad for this guy because he's incredibly insecure. Even when we were talking as just friends, he'd always say things like "I'm sad because my girlfriend said this/ did that."
  I'm happy for you and your girlfriend. I do believe online relationships can work, but only when both parties are honest.

Originally Posted by toxicbear

Eh, I've been in a similar situation. The only difference was that the person never mentioned they were in a relationship with someone..

But yeah, things like this suck. People can be sneaky and idiotic when they're bored and not getting anything out of their current relationship. Just try to move on the best you can, remove him from your contact list, even though it might be difficult. Make some new friends. And try to forget his sorry ass.

• 
  
  Ouch. D:
  Yeah, people can be terrible.

Originally Posted by toxicbear

Eh, I've been in a similar situation. The only difference was that the person never mentioned they were in a relationship with someone..

But yeah, things like this suck. People can be sneaky and idiotic when they're bored and not getting anything out of their current relationship. Just try to move on the best you can, remove him from your contact list, even though it might be difficult. Make some new friends. And try to forget his sorry ass.

• 
  
  Ouch. D:
  Yeah, people can be terrible.

He was so obviously just using you and the other girls.
I feel sorry for you all, but mostly for his real life girlfriend for not knowing, or choosing to ignore what an asshole he is.
I would be happy that I was not her.

• Oh my, what a wall of text. xDD
  Well, I say you should try to get over him. D=
  I mean, he's NO good for you. Not at all.
  Even if you like that in some twisted way, he's no good.

Originally Posted by Caroline

• 
  tzubake ||
  I agree; I don't advocate cheating but I felt so bad for this guy because he's incredibly insecure. Even when we were talking as just friends, he'd always say things like "I'm sad because my girlfriend said this/ did that."
  

I honestly doubt this guy is insecure. He had a real life girlfriend, as well as two main online girlfriends, an online boyfriend (I think? that's what the guy was?) and numerous other people he was talking to and trying to get with. Even if he is insecure, you should NOT feel bad for him. If he's insecure, it's only because he was afraid that you all would find out about his twenty different relationships.

Really, don't even bother to contact this guy. He used and abused you, used fake 'sweet words' to get your attention and affection. Who cares what happened or how he's doing? Just ignore him and move on.

Maybe you can find a guy that can act like an asshole for you, but is really a gentleman.

yeah, knowing whats going on is definatly nice sometimes. X__x

Well...it's an online relationship. It sounds harsh, but I don't think he really meant it when he wanted to meet you and such. On the net, you can lie about anything and everything. He could be an old man living in his mother's basement, and act like a totally cool person.

He has a real girlfriend. Real vs. Virtual Girl. Sorry, but I think the real one won. I mean...reality, or a girl he's never seen? And since it was an online relationship, he might've pretended his girlfriend was hurting him to maybe hook other girls in by sympathy or pity or whatnot. It was very kind of you to help him out, and he's just a bastard for cutting everything off with you.

I say go and find someone in the area where you live. Haha, maybe one who seems like an asshole but really cares for you.
:]

-thumbs up-

Good luck! <3

[Side Note: No one's posted in this for a while, I see. And it's okay that it was kind of a long story, it was quite interesting]

That's an odd situation. Since you know him from the internet you can't really know if his "girlfriend" or anyone he tells you about it truly real or not. But he seems to be quite the deceiver. I'd say to end it now. I'd just try to forget about the whole situation and never talk to him again. But that's just me >__<

It's only an online relationship. I hardly doubt you'll ever see him, his girlfriend, or any of the people he told in real life so don't worry. If an asshole called you a cunt does it really matter? If your enemy said he hated your guts then you wouldn't care about what he thought of you. This is essentially the same. That's another reason why I have never cybered or I planned to do it. It's all very dumb, sure he makes you feel good, but wouldn't you rather have someone whom you have know in real life call you a beautiful angel? You'll find someone much better than that, I know you will. :D

Trust me girl, I know what you are going through; only instead of an online relationship; mine is real life. I dated a guy named Tom who is an ass and for some reason I fell head over heels for him even more, it was insane! Not to mention he was a complete jerk when I first met him and wanted to know why I couldn't get him out of my head. Right now however he is in Cali and I am in Missouri and I am not sure what to do because it is such a distance away.

Only I messed things up and broke up with him and what not, but now I realize the error of my ways. Now my best friend is going after him and she is really bad news. So trust me dear it might not be the same thing exactally but it is pretty much the same. Usually people say give up on him and things like that but me, I am going to tell you to follow your heart because that is the best way to learn lessons. It is only when we learn lessons the hard way that we learn to open up and really love.

I am sure that the real girl won, but if you think that there is even a chance of you two being together, then fight for it. I know it isn't every day you hear someone say that but yeah. However if you don't go after him I am sure that you will find someone in real life and not over the net. Who will care for you, or be an ass you can't get off your mind. Take it from someone who has been around the block a lot of times with relationships. Follow your heart.

ok well i think he's just some user on the internet that wants to get away from his GF BUT doesn't know how so he acts the way he does so he can get away from his girl but he still doesn;t care about you or the others, he's just a user and you should avoid him. don't call him. and if you want to text him text away text him saying "i want to work things out with you and idc if you did that i just want to be your friend" and then meet him and pufff end of the problem but i bet he'll ignore it. that just shows he's a player and has no game.