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Friend Troubles [pretty much resolved]
EDIT: SOLVED, THANK YOU!
In highschool, the first new friend I made I'll call Sara. Sara and I hit it off instantly. She introduced me to my current group of friends. Well, Sara is really into Musical Theater and Drama. She has all her Musical Theater friends that she's known for a really long time. But, she had kept a balance between our group and her other friends, some of whom go to the same school as us. The trouble started when Sara decided to go back to being homeschooled. She came to school every Drama class, and sometimes lunch, so we never really saw her much. At lunch, she would eat with most of her Drama class friends. She would come sit with us for a few minutes, but would go back to her other friends before we really got to see her. It feels to me like she's abandoned us for her Drama friends. But, she does come by at lunch to see us, so I guess she does want to stay friends. I feel a bit annoyed that she doesn't spend very much time with us anymore, because she used to be one of the main people holding our group together. I've tried eating with her and her Musical Theater friends, but she only talks to them about the next Musical Theater performance, or something related to Drama, and I'm left out of the conversation. She invites us along with her Drama friends, but it's no fun for us, so we don't even bother anymore. I'm not sure how the rest of the group feels, but to me, if she stays with her Drama friends then she may as well leave our group, because it seems like she would rather spend more time with them anyway. My problem is this: Do I tell Sara that I feel like she's abandoned us? She'll probably say that she hasn't, that we're welcome to tag along with her other friends. But, it's really no fun for me. I can't say anything mean about her Drama friends, because she's known them longer than me, so it would just make things worse. Or, do I just leave things the way they are, and she'll either go back to balancing between the two groups, or else stay with mostly her Drama friends. I just don't want to lose a good friend over this whole thing, so I figured I'd ask your opinions. [sorry for the wall of text] |
Can you maybe see her out of school?
I know Drama kids can have a hellish schedule, but maybe you can invite her to go out with some of your friends some time, so you can spend more time with her. Rather than rely on seeing her at lunch time for a few minutes. |
Hmm, If she's one of your best friends, or a good friend, I think you shouild talk it over with her, tell her how you feel, but kindly. I mean, if not then nothing will happen but if you do you should be able to slove things between you to. Just tell her how you feel and that you feel like your being left out and all, if she's your realy friend she shouldn't get mad at you. :]
Maybe figure out a time to hang out together like what Ithir said. <3 |
Alright, there's a few things you should realize about this situation:
- Sarah probably doesn't even realize that you feel this way. To her, she might think that she's spending equal time with everyone, and that you're all happy. If you want her to hang out with you more often, you need to say something. Don't accuse - She isn't really doing anything wrong. Invite her to hang out with you guys more often, or sit at your lunch table for the entire period. - There's no reason to limit yourself to time during school. You guys can get together after hours, going to each other's houses or meeting at some half-way point in town. If you're both busy, then there's phone calls and IM too. Just because you can't eat together in school doesn't mean you can't still be the best of friends. - Give her other friends a chance. If she likes them, they can't be half bad. It sounds to me that you're a little biased towards the 'Drama kids' - If she invites you to tag along, go for it! Find something that all of you enjoy doing, like going to the movies or bowling. If you see them in a different setting, you're entire opinion may change. And then even if you can't see Sara all the time, you've made yourself even more friends. |
Actually we were just organizing a shopping trip with Sara, so I'll see how that goes. I'll try some of the other suggestions too.
Thank you everyone! |
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