Are your parents driving you insane too?
 

I'm 16 and my parents give me no freedom at all. Everyday it's work, work or study. Can you believe that I'm 16 and my parents still haven't let me got to a sleepover yet? My dad's lame excuse: he saw in the news that a lot of girls got raped by her friend's dad. That is so b.s.! How come I've never heard about it and my friends either? I've been waiting since secondary 1. I can't get my ears pierced until I'm 18. I can write a two page long list of all the things I can't do. And what maddens me the most is I have to work my butt off everyday at our dry cleaner and they pay me only 100$ for like 70 hours of work. I'm the cashier and I have to wrap and tag the clothes. I burnt my arm today on the stupid pressing machine. I can't tell on them because they're my parents so I can't complain about child labor. But you would think they would at least give me a few days off! I was supposed to stay home because today was 35 degrees celsius and then plus the heat factor at the dry cleaner it's unbearable.... But no I had to work. This whole summer I could barely see my friends.. I saw one movie Knocked up which was hilarious and I went to Laronde (an amusement park)

Do you guys have any advice on convincing my parents to give me a little bit more privacy and freedom? Discuss about your parent issues.

At your age, the best you can do right now is express how unhappy you are.

Perhaps you should say, "You know, if I don't get the chance to see the world until I go away to college, I'm not going to have a single clue as to what to expect/do."

It worries me that they've kept you sheltered (I assume so, guessing by the no-sleepover rule) when you WANT to get out there and do stuff. What happens when you need the real world experiences under your belt? ;_;

Bah.

I guess just be honest with them. Tell them you're unhappy and you're old enough to at least sleep over. :[ You're not five years old anymore, and they can't protect you from the world forever.

Thank you~ I've been telling them that for awhile but my dad is very stubborn. He says I can do anything I want when I'm 18. I'm surprised I haven't runaway by now lol. Thta seems childish but I often thought about it. One time I said I really wanted to sleepover at my best friend's house because it was her sweet 16 but my dad got mad at me for even "daring to ask." He's so unfair so I didn't talk to him for 2 weeks. He annoys me so much some times. Thank god I have my mom to lighten the atmosphere.

Hello Yina.
Well, my parent's don't really drive me crasy, they can be over protective form time to time. And very demanding. But you can say I'm not crasy yet. lol

Sorry, have to go eat will reply to you soon.

Yes your parents are quite demanding. They're just like mine, nothing is good enough for them. If I was able to get 95% everytime, then maybe they will be satisfied! But if I start getting 95s they'll want me to get 100s. Yeah I'm probably going to take a break from menewsha lol. I won't be on tomorrow because I have work but I will try to be on saturday night.

Ok, see you saterday night! But in a way I'm starting to be glade that my parents push me this way... It helps if you don't want to study lol

Wow...sucks.

My parents do that too...but at least they allow me to go to sleepovers.

I suppose the only thing you can do is express how unhappy you are, and hope your parents get the message.

As for the case of the sleepovers, find the percentage of rapes in sleepovers, and show how trustworthy your friends' familes are. :]

When I was younger, there used to be all sorts of rules and stuff where I live. No going out past 6, once it gets dark out I should be home (and it didn't even matter if it was in the middle of winter and only 4:30 when the sun set... bah), no computer for over an hour, no calling friends for X amount of time... the rules just kept going on and on, and every time I broke one, I'd get "punished". Punished meaning basically that they'd start yelling at me, we'd quarrel, and I'd end up with either a black eye or a close to broken body part. I hardly ever got to do anything at all when I was younger, and every time I'd do something they didn't like, I'd retaliate and there would be a huge fight. So I know how unfair it is to not be able to do anything while you're young. Once you're out in the real world, you'll be more free, but less at the same time, because when you're working and trying to support yourself, tiredness tends to come easier. Plus, once you hit eighteen (at least from what I've found), sleepovers come rarely or not at all, because it's considered too childish by a lot of people. I got to go to two or three sleepovers when I was younger, but both of those were after I turned sixteen and they were both pretty boring because I suppose everyone else was past the age where they'd actually want to stay up all night, and around midnight everyone just zonked out. =(

I really don't know what to say to you as far as trying to help you out, because from my experience, fighting with my parents was the only way out. Nothing has ever been resolved around here from anything less than yelling, throwing objects and beating each other, so it's pretty hard to tell you to argue with them also. So I guess I pretty much agree with others that you should just let them know how unhappy you are. I'm not sure if you'd want to do what I did and just break rules and things just because, to try and get them to be more lenient, but I don't really know exactly how they'd act once you'd get home from wherever you're out at. So yeah. ^^;

That's terrible. D: My parents wish they can force me like your parents do to you. Yes, there's plenty of screaming. But working to the death? Hahahaha! They wish for hell. I'm the extreme lazy type so all I do is waste their time, money, and pain. =D

Honestly, I'm not that happy about myself for being such. I know they want for the better of me but I can't get myself to work! It's hard alright? Dx I'm so used to my lifestyle right now that my brain won't let my other body parts do what it say! T^T

awww. im sorry. I hope things get better for you. I'm only 14, they wont even let me get a job. But c'mon when your a teenager parents are suppose to get on your nerve. ^^;;

@ IshokuOsero : Wow, your parents sound a lot worse than mine. My dad used to hit me but never in the parts that would actually show like a black eye or something. He likes pretending that he's the nicest father in the world, frigging hypocrite. But now he doesn't touch me anymore. I'm glad to hear that you got through all that, like the emotional stress and pain.

Thank you so much for writing!~ I feel sad because I do realize that in college nobody will want to do the traditional kiddy sleepover anymore. I feel like I lost a big part of my childhood.

@ the Unforgiven: I can't believe your mom still does that with your sister when she is an adult already (legally speaking) I just have to tough it out for 2 more years and then it will be freedom at last! I will still have the same values though.

@ Sadistix_Love: I used to be quite lazy too. I would have been happy just curling up with a book and watching tv all day and sleeping until 12:00 as opposed to getting up at 6:00. But getting out and working, you get to learn a lot of life experiences. I get to meet so many different types of customers, it's amazing. From people who value one penny as if it was their own son to people who give extraordinary tips, you leran a lot of business management and stuff. I suggest you try working one summer because when you hand in your resumes later, it would look nicer if it weren't empty! Good luck!

Thank you to everyone else who wrote!

UGH! I KNOW!

I'm 15 and they still treat me like a child! I can't even go down the street without taking the walkie talkie or my cell phone... which actually I'd never leave behind anyway.

Sometiems it seems they just don't understand ya know. Like how hard is it to realise, things have changed and you don't have to be so over protective.

My parents are like yours, but I bet I could say that mine are worse. I'm fourteen years old and I'm still not allowed to go over to a friend's house. A sleepover is out of the question. I'm not even allowed outside with some of my friends because my parents don't like him. I've been yelled at for painting my nails. My mom told me I looked like a slut because my bra strap happened to be showing because I didn't straighten it. My parents got mad at me for putting a temporary tattoo on my arm. I could go on and on!

My mother is nothing like your family- but i can somewhat relate with just being unhappy with your situation. (my mom is the opposite- no rules mostly)

best advice is being honest- that would be the angel on the shoulder

but the little devil says break the rules

sometimes honesty and open conversation doesn't work because it takes both people being open minded
try continually bringing it up but it a light hearted manner to not seem so threatening but have an undertone of insistence so that he can feel your serious.- wear him down lol

ok and also- college smollege- if you have the right friends you can always have a sleepover lol

@ Tsubasa Rose: I wouldn't like not having any rules either but having too much can get quite annoying. Thank you for your advice. I try to be honest most of the time. One time I lied and my dad found out and its been two years and he still brings it up. I told him I was going to a friend's house to do a project but it was really a surprise birthday party. Whenever he doesn't let me go somewhere, he still brings that up. It's like there's going to be an eternal punishment on me because of one stupid thing.

@ Anna: My parents were exactly like that to me 2 years ago. I couldn't paint my nails and they were constantly telling me that I looked like a slut if I had lipgloss on, etc. They have gotten better. I'm allowed to go maybe 3 times a year lol to see a movie. I'm allowed if my parents are in a good mood to go to my friend's house. Before all of these "privileges" were out of the question. But I'm sure every year when you get older, they will give you a little bit more freedom. Right now, I just do a couple of these things like makeup etc on purpose just to see if I can. They eventually stopped commenting about my makeup and my clothes. I can wear shorter dresses so I don't have to look like a nun wannabe now. Good luck!

They will never really accept the fact that our society is a lot different than theirs. Sometimes I prefer their time because they still had some moral values and romantism was still favored. I don't like living in a sex craved society.

Yes they do. >__>;

They`re crazy about doing normal things, like going to the movies. They are like "Just watch them at home." And they didn't even come out on DVD!

i never really had that much of an issue but when i was restricted from going to alot of sleepoveres and parties. i could go to some but they always had to make sure who it was and who would be there.

Hahaha... I share your pain. Are your parents chinese like mine too then?
Similarities:
I turned 16 on the 15th this month. I was never allowed to go to a sleepover either at my friends. I don't want my ears pierced, but I'm not allowed outside my house when my parents aren't home (which is 362 days a year) or at night, of course. To enforce this, I'm not allowed to use my own money to buy skates or a new bike just in case I get the 'urge' to go outside... I work at my parents' restaurant at the food court from 9.30am-9.30pm every weekend (fri-sun). I get paid 20 bucks a day. I'm the cashier and recently I've been promoted to food server because I look old enough/tall enough now. I never get to hang out with my friends outside of school because my parents are workaholics, lol. Omg, you got to go to the amusement park? I'm not allowed to... T_T. I work near a muvico though so I did watch a couple this summer.

You can tell your parents how much you feel left out of your own life. My parents always feel guilty when I can't attend a friend's party or my school's dances, and award ceremonies.

here's my thread about how much my parents' restaurant has left me doubtful: Get a Life Plan 2007

That's horrible! It's bordering on cruelty, I'm sure. Tell them that you NEED to be able to get out of the house. Try to get a job somewhere else.

You must make them know that if you are unprepared for the real world because of them, then you wil have every reason to resent and abandon them. Most parents really fear being abandoned by their children.

Show them the burn, and make sure they know how exhausting and irritating the work is. Use it as some leverage for a few days off. And make your parents meet your friends' parents. If your dad knows the dad he'll REALLY have no reason to say you're gonna get raped over there.

Parents think they know everything :( But they really don't know it when protectiveness turns into cruelty.