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Friend or Foe?
So here's the Dilio:
Ive known her for a couple of years. Shes my friend. but lately shes been acting very..annoying. thats the only word to describe her. shes loud, obnoxious, and sort of slutty! she doesn't talk to me much, except the times where she needs me to lend her my clothes/homework/food/anything else. but then again, she gets me gifts, takes me out to movies, and is there for me when i cry or when i'm down. to me, 13 years old + making out = total stupidness. but she does it anyways. so.. Also, i like this guy, but ever since he met her over msn on webcam, he fell in love with her. She knew all along that i like him, but still flirted with him and all that. I want her to treat me with a bit more respect but how could i tell her?Also, she doesn't seem to respect my culture, nor my taste in guys. she makes fun of me because of the guys i like when ive never made fun of her...ever! I want her to be nicer towards me and my feelings, but don't know how to tell her.. what should I do I tryed to tell her once but she got all defensive and started saying "ive never been mean to you, you're just jealous!" or "how dare you! i'll spread rumors of you for this!!" So i can't try to tell her or else shell blackmail me/spread rumors! How can I tell her how I feel? |
Just straight up tell her. If she threatens you like that you can threaten her back with them too.
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Hrm. A toughie. You did say that she does take you out to movies and is there for you when you're upset, so at least it is a two-way friendship. I'm not saying it's necessarily a good one (after all, you're upset right now), so let's see.
Aero is right, that you should straight up tell her. If she threatens you, that's her own deal. It's her choice to act that immature, but you probably shouldn't do it right back. What would it get you? It's awful that she flirted with someone she knew you liked. I'm sorry she hurt you like that. :[ How are you supposed to tell her how you feel? Calmly. If you do it angrily, she's bound to get just as angry. She'll more than likely get defensive, but try your best to keep your cool and stick through it. If you say things like you want to talk about it and get things sorted, she might listen. Like I said, it's a tough situation. |
Hhmm, I would say break it off since she's not very real. If she is there when you are down, is that from pity or is that from friendship? It looks like she hurts youmore than she could ever heal you. She seems like a very sneaky, backstabbing, mean kind of person. Then again, i dont give people a lot of chances to be my close friends so i might not be the best one for advice. I choose friends carefully but i stick with them till the end. Friends would never hurt you.
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I used to be in the same problem. I was like asking anyone I could, what do I do. Finally, no one could help me. They couldn't tell me what to do, they couldn't do it for me, so I had to do it. I just started in a note. I wrote "Rebecca... I need to talk to you... 'bout something important..." So we started out like that and eventually started talking in person. I told her gently how I felt, and it was all good. It worked out for the best, turns out, she didn't like me very much at all.
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thanks everyone.
i'll try to tell her in some kind of way. [: |
Tell her anyway. You don't deserve this stuff at all. Ignore her crap and get better friends.
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I think you should retry for another conversation with her. If she gets defensive and tries to attack you about it, just leave her alone. She's obviously not that nice in that case and it'd be better to find friends that you can relate to a little better. You don't deserve people being rude to you like that ;p
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It seems like you've tried telling her... That's happened to me a couple of times and everytime my best friend changes, I get sad and I can't belive that she would just throw away all the good memories. You have to move on. There's no point sitting there fulminating about her. You should hang out with a different person and then she will realize how precious your freindship was to her. If you try telling her how you feel, she will just blackmail you again. What kind of a friend threatens her friend when that friend is trying to give her a reality check? I totally agree with you! 13+making out=folly and 16+sex=folly too. But we're in that kind of a society, so what can you do? Or maybe try one last time to tell how you feel and if she does that again, just say that you don't want to be friends with her anymore. That may be harsh but she seems to be a backstabbing hypocrite. How can she make fun of the guys you like but then still end up flirting with him? She's obviously trying yto hurt you on purpose. There are plenty more people you could be best friends with. if she makes you feel sad and mad all the time, why still hang out with her? Gifts won't bring you happiness. Besides I'm sure other friends would take you out to the movies too and yet they wouldn't do all those things.
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It is hard when friendships kind of drift like that, I had a similar episode a while back and we stopped being friends. I reckon if someone had of said something to each other then we might have wanted to try a bit harder but we just let it go. But if you really want it to work then you will work it out and things should be fine in the end.
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Maybe its time to let go of this friendship, I'm sorry to say.
Getting eachother things does'nt make up for all the hurt feelings. Trust me. If you truely are friends she would listen to you....maybe she'll relise that this is wrong. But untill then, maybe you two should stop hanging out. I don't know, just my opinion. |
13 years old you say??
Junior High chaotic bs from the sounds of it. You can't avoid it...it will find you no mater what you do, but you can try. I would say not to ignore her, but begin phasing her out perhaps?? It sounds to me like she thrives on drama, and you don't need that. |
Hm, quite a sticky one, if I do say so myself...
Let's see. >.> Teling her straight up is out of the question, avoidance is an option...You, know? Silent treatment, but that'd be a tad immature, though...She's not being very mature herself with the whole "Blackmail" crap she's holding over you. Go for the silent treatment, then? Or, you can always fade her out, like was previously suggested. |
dont be friends with her just for the perks in the relationship. thats stupid. if shes a bad friend, simpily dont be her friend. you dont have to announce it like, IM NOT YOUR FRIEND ANYMORE BITCH!! BWA HA HA! just talk to her less and less, dont hang out with her, let your friendship wither away to nothing. because from what you say, thats all its worth, anyway. |
Awwe, thanks everyone. :3
I told her that if she doesn't stop acting like, well..a Btch, that I'm no longer willing to call her my friend. She just got all moody and said 'Fine, whatever.' *Rolls eyes* Typical her. -.-" But she still called me the next day at 12 freaking midnight and asked what we had for homework. >.>"" Anyways, I'm going to try to avoid her a bit more from now on, hang out with other people, try to go our seperate ways without havign to tell her. :3 |
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