|
He's...MOVING?!?!?!?!
My best friend will be moving at the end of 8th grade. Ordinarily I don't mind people leaving-it's just something that happens. But this time I don't really have any other friends to fall back on when he leaves. Ever since I became friends with him, not many people talk to me. I'm known as "the chubby girl that hangs out with the weird kid" to quite a few people.
I hate myself for saying this, because it's so irrational of me, but I'm mad at him. I know he likely has no control over the situation. I befriend him in 7th grade, become his only friend, and lose a lot. So many people laugh at me now it's not even funny. And he's going to leave me to face high school alone? With no one? It's not fair. He gets to start over at a new school-something I've wanted for years. And I'm going to be stuck in this hellhole without my best friend. Knowing him he won't even come back to visit. I know that there is always AIM to talk to him, and of course phones. But it's just not the same. Last friend I had move away didn't speak to me at all. I don't want that to happen again. Anyone know a good way to keep in touch with someone's who's left? And how to tolerate school now that I have about...1 person left that doesn't hate me (especially math, because he was the one that helped me survive last year, since somehow all of the populars wound up in honors). |
I'm not sure if you know him, but anyway, I'ma use Crepsley Kabob as an example in this situation to try and help you out with a friend moving. Cbob and I have known each other for two years, and after my boyfriend and I started going out, we became REALLY close friends. Last summer, he moved to France. It was heart breaking and devastating for everyone who was friends with him, and our whole little group was depressed for a long time. There was lots of crying. He visited this summer though because we keep in touch. We usually talk most days of the week, and we're always corresponding through online messages. Sometimes, he writes to my boyfriend and I, and we write back, and we talk on the phone often. If you really really want to stay in touch with your friend, you can find a way. Talking on the computer seems kind of impersonal once you first think about it, but if you don't try and act differently, it should be an easy way to keep in touch. Call each other if it's an option. I think it's rational for you to be mad at him as long as you know it's not your fault. I was mad at my boyfriend when I found out we didn't have any classes together, but I knew it wasn't his fault, so my anger didn't bother me that much. You're frustrated, and he's the only person to blame, so it's natural that you'd be mad at him. Just don't take it out on him. I think it's admiral that you'd be that girl with the weird kid and not care what anybody thinks, and everyone else needs to realize that rather than laugh at you. Try not to let it get you down, and maybe make some new friends. That's what high school is all about. Best of luck to you and your friend. |
Quote:
The computer is my last resort-I'd much much rather talk on the phone, but that doesn't seem too likely right now as we're on different plans and my dad keeps yelling at me for it...I'm trying to switch to his company anyway, but it's a pain when you have to go through your parents. You mean it's not completely crazy to be mad over something I know he couldn't control? I'll make sure not to take it out on him...I'm working on that as a whole. I'm not friends with him he's the weird kid-I'm friends with him because he's an awesome person that everyone else is too blind to see. |
I'm glad I could give you hope. : ) I think that if you can't work out talking on the phone, keeping touch online is a good alternative. It all depends on the people, though. If my boyfriend moved, we wouldn't be able tokeep in touch on the computer because we can't communicate well on AIM or anything because I type faster than he can process what I'm saying, but with Crepsley, we're just both compy literate people. If your friend is literate, I think you could do it. Good luck going through your parents, though. Maybe remind them how special your friendship with him is to you. It's not crazy to be mad over something you know he can't control because you know and acknowledge that he can't control it, and you know not to take it out on him. It's just like how people are mad at people who die when it's not their fault. Anger is a stage of grief. I know, but I just admire the people who reach out to the ones that no one else really cares to. : ) |
Ignore the people who dislike you. They're not worth your time, thoughts, or emotions. And when their mean to you, honestly think about what they say. Is it even true? Probably not. They're trying to judge you without really knowing whether they're right or wrong, probably. And that's foolish. And you've got better things to do than be bothered by fools.
And you said you're going into highschool, right? Well, then there'll be a TON of new people there. Ones that aren't mean to you! It's a fresh start. Try to befriend some people. Instead of one friend, make a circle of friends. And really look around. Is everyone mean to you? I bet they're not. I bet there are plenty of people who aren't so cruel. Try to become friends with them. Even if you don't have a ton in common with them, you'll feel less alone. |
I was friends with Crepsley too, when he went back this time I cried xD But oh well. I'm in 8th too! :D Anyhow I had a friend from 5th grade, she was awesome, we were really close, it felt like we'd known each other our WHOLE lives, and she hardly EVER argued, if we did we just shrugged it off and moved on. She moved to Michigan in June. But I was happy for her, she went off to a new life, a new exciting life, so I encouraged her to talk to people, and go on with a good life. So far she's met a bunch of hot guys, she's settled into her nice house, and started her life again. Just encouraging her, stopped me from crying all together, I was so happy for her, because her dad got a HUGE promotion, and that she was going through a great life experience. If you just encourage him, then you won't be so depressed, and I'm sure he'll visit sometime.
|
Coming from a military child moving is hard and friends you dont or never get to see is hard. but in the end you make new friends its like a cycle a friend moves and a new one befriends you in that odd sorta way. You never know if you will see that friend again. Im sure he will miss you alot as well.
|
|
Although entering high school alone is a terrifying thought for you, try to remember that school is such a tiny place in the world. Sure you'll be there for 4 years, but it doesn't matter how many friends you have or what you wear, because when you move out into the real world all people care about is who you are. (Believe me, I know from experience)
And as for your friend, I hope you can forgive him and understand that sometimes they don't get a choice in the curveballs life throws at them. But if you can forgive him try to really keep in touch. Again, I'm talking from experience, but making that little effort to pick up a phone and say whats up can make a huge impact. |
I know how you feel, but just think of this as a positive experience. I mean you say that he gets to start afresh in a new school, but if you think about it, so do you. High School is completely different from 8th grade, and it's a wonderful chance for you to step out of your comfort zone and meet new people, and make more friends. You may not be the most popular girl in school, but a lot of people actually do grow up over the summer between 8th and freshman.
And think about it, he's the one that's going to have no friends at all. He has to meet new people all over again, whereas you know people, but just aren't friends with them. As for maintaining contact, it's important that you take the intiative. Don't get mad if he doesn't call you or something, and feel depressed, call him. Maybe he's also waiting for you call. Really make an effort to keep in touch if you value him as a good friend., so that there will be no regrets. I had a friend that called me 4 or 5 times a week when I first moved, and we didn't even have cell phones, so our phone bills were running up, but we didn't care. I can proudly say that after 3 years, we're still best friends. |
Thats a normal way to feel but try to understand its not his fault that he has to move. I thnk he would stay if he were really somehow able to but life changes and you grow with it. Try to find some other ways of keeping yourself occupies when he leaves as this way you will hopefully be able to make some new friends.
|
| All times are GMT. The time now is 10:10 PM. |