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Do I have the right to feel this way?
It was in my sophomore year in High School that I became friends with this freshman [I will call her...not her real name] Cassie.. At first I was weary of her, mainly on the fact that she was always babbling on how she wanted to have sex with her boyfriend, or how she was go close to him. We ended up becoming friends after my Drama teacher assigned us to the same group. It was at the end of that year that I started to hang out with her friends. The group (me, her friends, etc) had a lot in common ranging from clothing style to anime. I started to become really close to Celeste. Not in a girlfriend way. But more in the way that we could tell each other everything.
I guess you could say that her home life was far from perfect. Her mother was a housewive, and her dad was in the military. She spent a good portion of her life moving from place to place; Cassie was born in England, lived in China, and was in Hawaii before she moved back to the United States. It was during my junior year that she confessed to me, and another friend, that her mother was physical abusive. To a point where it would leave bruises, marks, and cuts. Later on she talked about how her dad was never home, and even when he was it was never plesant. More so he abused him, but emotional. There were times where her family would deny her food because they felt she was too fat. (She takes dance classes in and outside of school. It is really important for her to eat as she needs the energy. Most of the time I would lend her money, or end up giving her parts of my lunch.) She had always been average. So one day I told the school's psycholgist. From what I heard from Cassie is that she was called down, but she said that she lied because it was not the school's business on what her home life was. She told me it was "no big deal" because she was still alive, and still made it to school. I don't think she ever caught on that it was me. I have always been the shy, and timid friend. No one would expected me to be the one. But I spent that year comforting her. I was the one who held her when she broke down, talked to her when she was down, and made her laugh. We would constantly talk in our computer class, and spend our lunch period sitting with our friends. I had started to open up to her. I had explained to her once that I had always struggled with my problems, that I would always tend to push my issues and emotions away. She seemed to understand this, and offered a helping hand. I made sure that she would at least smile once a day. I was always there for her. She would come to me, calling me at the middle of the night sometimes. She disappared during the summer. She did not answer my e-mails. She did not answer my phone calls. She did not answer when I went to her house. (Which is two minutes from where I live.) Her friends did not know what was going on. On the first day of school I see her, but she walks right past me and decided to sit with another friend (Jane) of our's. I say hello, but she pretends not to notice and continued asking the girl what she did during the summer. I try again, but she does not answer. I figure that maybe I did something wrong, or maybe she did not hear me. But after a week of this you start to become worried. Annoyed, even. I e-mailed her. I called her. She apolgized. But her actions never changed. In my sophomore and junior year, we would wave and smile at each other in the hallways. But now she would look right through me, and then quickly turn her head the other way. Sometimes I would get "lucky" and she would give me this dirty look. As if I had done something to her, and she hated me for me. But I could not remember doing anything to her. I remember talking to her through e-mail at the beginning of the summer, and asking her what she was going to do this summer. Or how on the last day of school she told me that she what she was going to do for her sixteenth birthday. While going home one day, I overhere Cassie tell Jane on how she spent most of her summer at Sheppard Pratt, a psychartic ward, after she was suicidal. She never really mentioned if she attempted, or if she was just thinking about it. I was hurt. I was confused because she had never told me that was suicidal, only that she had been in the past. Hurt because she did not tell me this. It was one of those, "She used to tell me everything, and now's keeping this from me?" By the third day of school some of my friends had ditched me. Sometimes I would walk past them, and they would give me the same dirty look. They would not even talk to me anymore. I tried to talk to them, but they would not say a word. These were the same friends that knew Cassie, who had introduced me to them about two years before. I start to wonder if she had anything to do with this. I tried talking to Cassie. I think I have had one full conversation, and she told me that she was planning to e-mail me. But she never did. The only reason I had saw her is because I had went to the guidance office to pick up a work permit for a teacher of mine. She was only there because she was getting her schedule changed. But after that---nothing. Background: During my junior year, there was this girl who tried her hardest to make my life a living hell. I was stuck with her during the last period of that year. She would go up, and make fun of me because she told me that people only have curly/wavy hair because they do not brush or wash it. I was made fun of it, even after I got it straighten. I got to a point where I would go from washing my hair at night to two or three times a day. The truth is my hair was clean. My friends and family told me but I did not believe it. You have this girl telling your hair is dirty and ugly every damned day...and that screws up your mind. Sometimes she would go up to my friends and classmates and tell them bullshit stories about me. Or attempt to spread rumors about me. One time stands out. She told one of my friends (Josh) and he started to laugh at me. I put my head down, and try to ignore it. He comes over to me, and starts asking me what was wrong. I scream, "DON'T TOUCH ME." And move away. "Why the hell would you care? Obviously you are believing that girl over one of your friends." I told Cassie. She listened to me. She gave me advice. We huged. She knew how much of a bitch the girl was. Back to the point--- Now Cassie is friends with the bitch. How can you be friends with someone knowing that the said person has no problem spreading rumours about someone you care about? But maybe Cassie if not the person I knew anymore. I feel so terrible. I only have two friends left. My social life is gone. And my ex-friends ignore me. (Minus two.) I feel down, depressed, angry. I feel betrayed, lost, and confused. I know I need to get over this, and forget about them. But it is not that easy when you lose one of your best friends, and the 97% of your friends. |
Wow........ I'm sorry. That's the kind of crap that happens too much in high school (maybe in different ways, but the same kind of thing). I can't think of what to tell you that isn't generic bullshit (I'd mean it, but that's how it'd sound). Er....... *is here if you want to talk* On Menewsha, anyway.
But there's a difference between people you can see every day and people you can talk to online fairly frequently (for some people, anyway. Not so much for me). Er.... You're a senior now, right? About the best that I can say is that college is better. (As far as I know.) Hopefully they stop being immature and get to the point where they can at least explain themselves. Edit: Oh, yeah. You TOTALLY have the right to feel that way. You shouldn't even have to ask. |
Of course, you're upset. Being abandoned and ignored is never fun. You might have some rocky months ahead of you. However, you need to keep things in persective and not allow your emotions to destroy.
This happens to everyone. People grow apart. People go through phases and treat other people like dirt. Unfortunately, there is often no explanation provided when a relationship ends. These are just facts of lives. You can't depend on others for happiness. You still have two friends. You shouldn't waste your time thinking about people who treat you this way. If you're still lonely, get out there and meet new people. You've made yourself very accessible to "Cassie." At this point, it's up to her to try and patch things up. |
Erm... This will sound weird, but I think you should have someone tell you... It's true. You didn't dream up your friendship, and they did just up and abandon you. Also, I doubt you did anything to provoke it. But someday, when you look back at this and think you were making a bigger deal out of it than you should have, or when you start to think maybe you really weren't that close to begin with, or when you start to think that you kind of brought it on yourself.... It's not true. What you feel now, it's honest, it's true and it happened. Other than that... Yeah. You can't derive happiness from anyone or anything outside yourself. It won't work. You're better off on your own, and much better off with two actual friends. |
Thats horrible, though very common in many different forms.
I had a friend who I thought was my best friend and always will be, sad thing is though I am 22 and not in highschool anymore and this situation happened way after highschool. This year my friend and I stopped being in contact after I moved out of home. I tried everything I could think of that would get me to be closer to her or to find and answer as to what was going on. I found out later that she commited suicide, very tragic but such is life. I don't think it was my fault and I don't think that this situation is your fault either. Its just a tough sitution to be in and you will just have to grin and bare it the best you can and perhaps get a new circle of friends in the meantime. |
Quote:
I have a best friend of the former variety. He didn't commit suicide. I wish he could be that good a person. |
Last school year a the end my "bestfriend" and I got into a fight. in the middle of the parking lot cause she said i wrote her sis a e-mail talking a lot of crap about her (which i didn't) but in reality i wasn't puting her first in my life. she has to have constant attention if not she will start drama. so in the end i beat the sh!t out of her. no more attention for her. wasn't a good idea to fight someone, but that is what i do. people piss me off i fight them. simply yet bad. no one bothers me ^^ i do not bully people around. that is a no no. no drama for Miku.
I'm sorry that is happening all you got to do is stand up and confront them. Don't let them "pick" on you. You have to stand up for yourself. If you keep letting them do it they will keep acting immature. Tell them off or whatever. I hope everything works out. |
hmm yeah i had a similar experiance with one of my best friends..except well they didnt drag any friends of mine away with them..even though its hurts..i think you should keep trying to get through to her:)
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