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I think I'm going to tell her once I'm entirely better. I've stopped for I think six days now, and my friends have been really great with trying to help me stop. I kind of just want a therapist, but I don't want somebody who could so easily tell my parents. I have a feeling that if someone else tells them, I'll start again. Which is kind of depressing. Now I do "emotion sprees," getting everything out on paper and putting it on my devart, so that I don't have the emotions that provoke cutting. Of course, some of the stuff ends up kind of sucking, but for now it keeps me healthy[or healthier, at least]. |
I had been cutting for four years before I finally stopped. I stopped because I got tired of kicking my ass about it. I got some will power and decided I was going to change this horrible pattern. You can do it too. Try talking to someone instead of hurting yourself. It just makes things worse.
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I have a lot to say on this topic...I don't know if I can really help you, but I would love to try.
First of all, during my freshman and sophomore year of HS I had a really close from of mine cut. And she was doing it to the point where she couldn't cover it up either and she did it all over her body, not just her wrist. She cut her wrist, up her arms, all on her ankles and shins as well as the top of her breasts. Every day she would come to school wearing long pants and a sweater and one day she rolled up her sleeve (this is how I found out about her cutting) and said look what I did last night. And I was basically like wtf!? Because I was a freshman in HS then so I was still kind of new to all of those forbidden things that don't happen in middle school (most of the time) like drugs, sex, cutting, drinking...etc... But she actually did seek out help and even though it took her a while to I don't want to say 'get better' but I guess took her a while to stop, she eventually did. And because she cut there were so many people that made fun of her. In the halls students would yell things like 'cutter' and 'why don't you kill yourself?' When she went to the doctors though she found out that there was some sort of imbalance in her brain (it sounds really serious but it's not horrible) but essentially that's what was making her cut and she was confused and it could have been hormones because in 9th grade your body is still developing...anyways, now on to you. I understand that you said that you want to feel alive and you like cutting, but you're afraid that you won't be able to stop...and it's like you're addicted. The only thing(s) I can say is try and wean yourself off of cutting. It isn't healthy for you. And I'm sure that when one day you're a grown woman and in the work force you're not going to want to have to look down at your arms and see scars forever. I honestly would advise you to see some outside help, and if you're afraid go to someone that you know cares about you. I'm sure if you went to your parents that they won't get pissed at you. They would be concerned. All situations with cutting are different. Some people want attention, some want to feel the pain...I have no idea why you do it or would want to. Your body is actually a very fragile thing and you should want to protect it, not harm it. I think it's great that you want to stop and that you at least decided to tell someone even if it is on-line. And I'm sorry if I may have offended you in any way or kept talking in circles...(I tend to do that :sweat:) |
Oh my.
><; Well, I'd say go on and tell your friends and family. They will most likely disprove of you cutting yourself and try to help you with your problem of cutting. They wouldn't wanting you cutting yourself too badly to the point you lose to o much blood or something.So go and tell them. I'm sure they will help you out alot. |
Well, you probably all told her that she needed to seek help and that it was wrong...
But I feel the opposite. Honestly, it's your body. And you said you don't do it to kill yourself. You just want the pain. I used to cut. I liked the blood and the little sting it brought. I quit because my mom found out and made me feel like shit. I didn't want to deal with that feeling, but I still have the urge now and again to see the blood and feel that little slice of pain. Honestly, I don't think it's an issue. As long as you know how far it can go, and as long as you know the dangers, it's your own decision. |
Well whatever you decide to do, just be safe and don't do anything stupid.
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Unfortunately, even if you are afraid to tell them, its for the best to do so. If you do seek help of a therapist they will have to tell your parents if they sense any notion of self injury, thats just their job. But anything else your feeling is strictly between you and that person. The only reason they break that trust is if they think you may cause harm to yourself, and that is really for your protection. |
Yuki, have you perhaps considered that it is not depression that makes one cut? I merely said that as long as she understands the boundaries and what is involved with it, that it is her decision.
I agree that my mother made me quite because she loved me. I also think that it was my decision. I quit because I loved her, and I didn't like that I was causing her pain. If she feels that she is in the wrong and wants to stop, then yes, by all means, she should tell her parents or seek help from a professional. I'm simply saying that I don't see anything wrong with what she was doing. |
You know when people tell cutters how stupid and dumb they are. It just makes them want to cut more. Im not saying give them sympathy or baby them. Just dont be rude. I see some people writting how dumb and stupid this person is and that if they wanna die then do it.
Honestly if you cut and want to stop its really hard i know im a ex cutter since the 8th grade. I started in the 8th and it took me until the end of the 10th grade to finally stop. So i know. Like she i didnt do it to kill myself but b/c i personally could control the pain i put on myself. Where if others hurt me i couldnt control that. Its a really hard thing to do. I grant you most will say its not but unless your a regualr cutter you wouldnt know. Some it may not be hard but when your addicted to do it everynight its kinda like smoking or walking. If you do that everyday its habit to keep doing it. Sometime you catch yourself doing it even when not upset its just because your so used to go into that room and doing it. You have to make yourself do something else. Like get a box and write your hurt your thoughts or anything and put it in there. Walk aroudn your block or get a rubber band and when in the urge to cut pop it on your wrist. That helps alot b.c your getting that lil pain however your not risking your life. I have never done the rubber band thing however i have read it in books. Please dont judge me for i no longer cut. However you shouldnt judge the ones who do. Instead try to help them. |
I used to cut about three years ago, but I stopped because people kept asking what it was from, and I would lie and say my cat. (I never cut my wrists, usually on the tops of my hands or arms). I then started to stick pins under my skin instead because it didn't leave much physical evidence.
The thing is, even thought I liked the pain and the blood, I felt worse and guilty because I was doing it. I stopped now, but whenever I'm really upset, I end up going all OCD and hurting myself. Last week I started scratching my arm until I had a three inch long bloody scrape, and I was at work. :shock: The rubber-band suggestion works fairly well, that is if you can remember what you do with it when you take it off. Plus,a lot of people know about that trick. I would say that the best thing to do it to confide in someone that you know in real life. I did and I've done a lot better. ^.^ Good luck in whatever you decide to do. |
Aiden you still have yet to prove why you think its not a "big deal"
this is taken from kidshealth.org on cutting "What Can Happen to People Who Cut? Although cutting may provide some temporary relief from a terrible feeling, even people who cut agree that it isn't a good way to get that relief. For one thing, the relief doesn't last. The troubles that triggered the cutting remain — they're just masked over. People don't usually intend to hurt themselves permanently when they cut. And they don't usually mean to keep cutting once they start. But both can happen. It's possible to misjudge the depth of a cut, making it so deep that it requires stitches (or, in extreme cases, hospitalization). Cuts can become infected if a person uses nonsterile or dirty cutting instruments — razors, scissors, pins, or even the sharp edge of the tab on a can of soda. Most people who cut aren't attempting suicide. Cutting is usually a person's attempt at feeling better, not ending it all. Although some people who cut do attempt suicide, it's usually because of the emotional problems and pain that lie behind their desire to self-harm, not the cutting itself. Cutting can be habit forming. It can become a compulsive behavior — meaning that the more a person does it, the more he or she feels the need to do it. The brain starts to connect the false sense of relief from bad feelings to the act of cutting, and it craves this relief the next time tension builds. When cutting becomes a compulsive behavior, it can seem impossible to stop. So cutting can seem almost like an addiction, where the urge to cut can seem too hard to resist. A behavior that starts as an attempt to feel more in control can end up controlling you." and there you have it. |
I didn't think I needed to prove why I thought it wasn't a big deal.
I honestly don't care if you don't agree with me. And yeah, maybe I can't justify myself. But the fact remains that I don't think it's a big deal, and I think it's okay. It's like... You know those people who have all sorts of tattoos, or piercings? People don't rag on them for their choices in what they do to their bodies. It's their body. They wanted to put holes in it, or inject ink into it. But people get upset when someone chooses to cut into themselves and draw blood? Cutting isn't even a permanant modification or whatever you want to call it. Honestly, the reason I'm arguing with you, Yuki, is because I believe that one has the right to do what they wish with their own body. |
honestly I think cutting is scary. I had a friend that did it...eventually she stopped but then I had a nother friend...well not really friend we talked a little bit...and he actually hung himself because his parents were mad that he got a 'C' on his progress report...it's a scary thing. Just try and stay safe. And if you need someone to talk to feel free to message me. :)
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You are not addicted to cutting yourself.
You are addicted to the endorphins that are released when you do. There are many other things you can do to replace cutting while getting the same effect. Theres exercise and certain types of food. Also if you just want to feel pain, wear a rubber band around your wrist and snap it against your wrist when you feel like cutting. I used to cut myself, and then one day I grew up and cut the bull. I realized it wasn't doing any good and that I would regret it when I was older. Or I wouldn't even have the chance to because I'd hit an artery in my wrist and bleed to death. If you really want to stop then just stop. Since what you are doing is not physically addicting you really have no excuse not to. |
Wow...
My friend had the same problem, only I found out and told an adult. She's stopped now. My advice is to find someone you would trust with your life. Don't be blunt, but ease yourself into the topic of cutting. If they truly understand you, they'll try their best to help you out. If you don't want to talk to someone about it, then try to cut less each time. My friend used to cut herself about 5 times each day, but perhaps you could try 4, then 3, then 2, then just once. I'm not sure if you can completely break yourself out of it, but once is better than 5 times. Good luck. <3 |
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I actually started with sticking pins, but it evolved. Now I'm eight days [what? sober?]. Lanny Mammi-Um, not so much. I like the pain. I enjoy it. It's not growing up. I can't just "stop." It is physically addicting for some people. And I have been suicidal. True, I'm mostly over it, but if I almost kill myself, so be it. Aidan Montague-Thanks for the defense. Self decoration is a bit more of my best friend's thing, but I agree with the fact that it's my own body. YukiDemon-I am not a jerk who misquotes to get gold. So here's a little response of my own. Quote:
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http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/why.html |
You're welcome, allikow. Self-decoration was really just an example...but I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one who feels this way.
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@Winter Wind: Your friend probably never stopped.. she's just better at hiding it more from you now.
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Nathuram: Agree with that.
And I lost the sobriety. I hate myself. |
Wow... I never cut across my wrist... but I know sort of what you mean. I used to cut my upper legs and my upper left arm. I did it not for pain, but for the chemicals it released that relaxed me. I'm sorry if people don't treat you that well when they read about it over the internet, but yes, that happens sometimes. People in my school found out and stopped talking to me for a year. (Well, only one person did.)
But the thing is, I told. I told my mom in the doctors office. She began crying, and when we got home she said to give her the tools I used to cut. I think that was the best thing she has ever done. I still have a few things to cut with, but after telling, I felt so guilty with cutting that I eventually didn't do it anymore. I mean, yes, I still get thoughts about it, every day in fact, but knowing that it helped me while hurting others was unacceptable to me. I still long to do it though, so I understand that it is hard to even want to stop. Well, I've typed a novel and now I must go... but yes. I do wish you the best of luck in telling someone. (I never had the intent of suicide either...) |
Aww, don't be down on yourself like that, allikow. It is very hard to stop, so having a lapse is not surprising in the least.
What matters is that you tried. |
The 'rents found out last night.
No computer, music, or reading until further notice. o.o |
Just stop thats what i did i have alot of scars from it but i just quit i made a promise to myself....And think how it would hurt the people you love like your mom dad brothers sister aunts and uncles.
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I was a cutter. I have scars on my arms and legs and some on my torso. I can't tell you to stop or to do the right thing, that'd be too hypocritical of me, but I see that you've at least told your family. I did the same when my addiction got out of hand. I started going into the bathrooms at school and cutting when I found out I got a bad grade on a paper or test. *Shrugs*
I've quit though, it was hard, still is. I keep a razor by my bed, just in case I need it, sometimes I do. I hope you have a better time getting over this and hopefully you'll never regret have your scars. They're a reminder or your life. |
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