i just told my friend i've started cutting...again and he yelled at me :'(. i know that i shouldn't do it and that it's a foolish decision, blah, blah, blah, but did he really have to yell at me?
like, honestly it doesn't make me feel any better..

was this an appropriate rxn from him, and am i just being overly-sensitive?

>.<

Well, he definately shouldn't have yelled at you :'/ But, he's also a kid himself, no offense! I'm assuming you're in high school- forgive me if i'm wrong x'p If you want real, qualified help, go to your school counselor. That's what they're there for, hon. And if you are in college, most campuses offer some sort of program in the Psychology department where you have so many free visits per year or semester.

To really answer your question, no, it was not an appropriate reaction from him... but he's also probably not the most appropriate person to tell, although who you tell is entirely up to you.

just to clarify, i am in college, but he's not. he's like 32.
no, it's not as creepy as it sounds.

yeah he told me: "see a professional"
i dunno


>.<

I agree that you should see a professional. It's a disorder, an addiction, and it could possibly turn life-threatening at some point.

I hope you can find your answer soon, whatever that may be. Hopefully in the meantime, everyone won't find out. That'd be rather immature of him due to his age.

i meant that since i've posted about it on mene, a lot of people will know one of my darkest secrets.
no, i don't think he'd go round blabbing.

lol i probably should have mate the title "DONT READ THIS PLZ KTHNXBAI"

>.<

But, you posted fully knowing people would read... surely you came to terms with it before clicking "post". If it bothers you this deeply, PM a community manager and kindly ask if the thread be deleted due to its personal nature.

duh, i knew what i was doing..

i think you've missed the point of this thread...

He shouldn't have yelled at you.
But cutting is something a lot of people don't really understand, so they don't know how to react to it... and that's aside from the fact that it's crazy misunderstood.
Anyway. He's just concerned about you is all. Perhaps you should talk to him a bit and see what sort of rational things he has to say (while CALM, not yelling at you).

Well, cutting has become a trend and a cry for attention, and most people are frustrated with that. So those that have an actual problem get the shit end of the stick as well, just because 'emo' became 'cool' to some people.

So, it's popular to bleed.

He shouldn't have yelled at you. I know yelling doesn't help the situation and may make it worse... but think of this: How much do you think cutting yourself hurts him? I'm sure if you hate yourself you probably think you don't matter much to anyone. I've been there. Trust me though, that's not true. Truth is, you probably matter to quite a few people.

And hurting yourself probably hurts him as well. Try to talk it out with him. Though, if you're serious about quitting - as it is a habbit - you may need to search for help elsewhere.

Keep in mind that it is hard to understand things if you haven't been in that spot yourself and can relate to it. If he hasn't been in that spot, he might not fully understand how difficult it is. Like the people who try highly addictive drugs and promise 'just once' before, naturally, getting addicted. They couldn't have measured the weight of what they were getting into, underestimated, and wound up into trouble.

Now they realize how hard it is to climb out of that hole. But before they were there, they didn't get it. Cutting is a bad habbit, just as drugs are, and is also difficult to quit just as any other bad habbit is. ^^ Don't feel bad if you don't get it right on your first try, but for the sake of your friends - if not for yourself - keep trying. Make them the reason you wake up the next morning and live just one more day at a time. <3

I'm wondering, what kind of reaction were you expecting? It's hardly a 'pat you on the back and tell you good job' moment. Other then a cry for help and/or attention, I can't think of a single reason to tell someone something like that.

I'm going to opt for the 'you're wanting help' option. Just stop if you have the willpower. Get help if you don't. Trust me, scarring yourself up is not a good thing. My cousin was into mutilation and it hurt everyone around her, and even hurts her kids to know some of the things she did to herself now.

Sweetheart(for the record I dont know if im older then you or not)
Cutting is NOT an option.
I've been depressed for ages. And for about 5 years ago I thought it was. But I was always too afraid to really cut myself.
So I used safety pins to scratch very hard so it started bleeding.
But I've grown up. I've come to learn that you cant escape the pain by cutting.
It just makes all the pain build up inside you like a volcano that is gonna erupt.
Who wants that flood of feeligs on them when it all comes out?
I dont think your boyfriend wants it, and I think he is scared and feels helpless. If ypou cant help ypourself, then how could he.
I responded the same way when my boyfriend cut himself.
I hit him, I yelled at him, I sat on the floor crying.
Eventually he realized the same thing as I did some years ago.
Cutting is NOT an option.

i hope you realize that too.
And your boyfriend is a smart man.
Dont make him worry about you.
Get help.

Peoples views on cutting or any other form of self mutilation are usually warped... They see it as a black and white kind of thing. Cutting is wrong. Cutting hurts (usually). Cutting makes you bleed (not always true). So no matter what, you shouldn't hurt yourself... What people don't understand is that it is not that simple. Yelling at the person doesn't make anything better, insulting them also doesn't help, but people do it in the heat of the moment. He probably was shocked and naturally upset that you were hurting yourself so he reacted without thinking.

He just doesn't want to see you hurt or in pain... Calmly explain to him that though you appreciate that he cares... You didn't appreciate that way he said what he said.

And hon, you really need to stop hurting yourself... it just prolongs the healing process. If you can't seem to do it by yourself, seeing a counselor could work. Just make sure if you do decide on getting help that you find someone you feel comfortable with.

I used to be an avid cutter, and I've managed to get out of it. It's a really hard thing to stop doing, and people are assholes about it.

I remember the first day that I went to school without long sleeves or a net shirt, back when I was in 8th grade (I am no longer in school), and my arms were covered with bright red scars. No one even said anything about it. I don't know why. No one even asked if I was still doing it. I think they were afraid of me.

Nowerdays, everyone just calls the person who is cutting "emo", without even asking the person if they are okay. A lot of people that cut are also suicidal... which leads to me sincerely asking if you are?

My advice? If you can't stop yourself from doing it, at least make it something that you won't hate. Draw stars, hearts, but NEVER names, or words like "death", "hate", or "fat". Yes, all three of those are visable scars on my arms. Make designs. Just don't cut too deep. If you can't even manage to do that, and just want to slash and slash, then you really fucking need to ask some one for help!

I know that what i just wrote might sound like the wrong thing to say, but as someone who struggled with cutting majorly, I look and smile at the stars and hearts. I don't smile when I remember that i have just random slashes. Be good to yourself. Try to stop, even if it takes you a while.

Trying to stop immediately almost never works. if you cut yourself, say, 5 cuts a day, cut it down to 4 then 3 then 2 then 1 then none. If that makes any sense. Cutting is like a drug, a very addictive drug.

I hope i was able to help you a bit...


EDIT: You're in college? Deffiately get some help.

Or... try piercings. Serisouly. I'm not kidding. That's how I managed to get myself to stop. I just started piercing myself (responsably). Don't just stick safety pins through your skin or anything, but if you like piercings, adding a new hole to your ear can be a lot better than adding another slash wounds to your arm.

I used to cut. I never did it very much, to be totally honest but I did do it. I told my friend one time that I'd stopped but then she found out I hadn't, and she literally slapped me. So yelling might have been a little nicer in that situation. I don't cut anymore at all though. I don't even want to. The mere thought of it disgusts me.

Originally Posted by sandyismylizard

duh, i knew what i was doing..

i think you've missed the point of this thread...

No, I think you missed your own point, and was the insult really necessary?

Your thread basically asks if he should have yelled at you, but your post to me said basically, "now Menewsha's going to know I cut..", as if it were an unwanted thing. Just didn't make sense that you complained about something you knew you were doing, is all.

Originally Posted by Alcoholic Lollypop

Or... try piercings. Serisouly. I'm not kidding. That's how I managed to get myself to stop. I just started piercing myself (responsably). Don't just stick safety pins through your skin or anything, but if you like piercings, adding a new hole to your ear can be a lot better than adding another slash wounds to your arm.

Exactly like my sister.
I think piercings really is a good ay of handeling the pain.

Originally Posted by Wania

Exactly like my sister.
I think piercings really is a good ay of handeling the pain.

Thanks for backing me up on that one. I didn't want to sound too crazy, but it serisouly does help.

yes it was very appropriate for him to yell at you
If one of my friends did something that stupid i woyld yell at them too
Cutting is a stupid decision because it damages your body and if the wounds don't heal right your left with ugly scars on you

it may be a bit overprotective but it's because your friend cares about you ok

I know he yelled at you but thats because he's your friend and he is worried that you will hurt yourself further or something on the lines of that

Just think of how you'd react if you found out he was cutting yourself.
True, I'm not really one to talk, seeing as I do it too.
And his reaction was atrocious.

Well, yeah, it probably was appropriate. :/ First of all, if you're one of those, not offense, emo-stereotype-I like mainstream rock music-my life is so horrible because nobody likes me people, then please stop cutting yourself for the attention.

But, if not, and you seriously have a problem that you cut yourself over, then you should seriously try and stop. IT's unhealthy and isn't solving any of your problems. It's either a cry for attention or a cry for help. I'm hoping the latter.

Please, dear, try and get some help to make you stop. :/

Cutting yourself is stupid, pointless, and ultimately shows that your weak.
Giving in to social status and what seems "cool."

When none of you little "Harcore cutters" do it for what original cutters did anyway.
At least they had creepy spiritual intentions.

Just cut it out.
[No pun intended]
Jesus.

Being sad and sadistic is just awesome now, isn't it...

Too many people try to solve problems by yelling.

He's upset and disgusted by the whole thing most likely and he lashed out at you for it. Admitting to something like that so casually is equivalent to begging for attention.

Self-mutilation is serious and sad. It should never be taken lightly.
It isn't okay.
I can only guess that it's an attention thing because you would post something liek this online, not asking for help, but assuming it was okay.

I had a friend who scratches his hands until they bled, but he had a skin condition, and it was diffiuclt for him to help. It's unfortunate that you would do something like that on purpose.

He has the right to yell at you when my friends cut i yell at them when i cut they yell at me it's a system that we have come up with and it works great ok cause it makes us stop right away and not cut for a while

anyway we yell at each other because we care about one another and we hate to see each other be stupid

I think he was wrong to yell. I think thats the last thing that you need. He probably doesn't understand what you are feeling and why you are cutting. Most people dont understand and therefore think its sick or twisted. Yes, it is in the short term self-harming. I dont think that in the long run there are any side effects, exept for the obious scars. But there are definatly worse things you could be doing. Pain is one of the things that lets us know that we are human. Sometimes you need to bleed, it conferms that you are alive, that you still can hurt. Its depressing, but true. I think that you should talk to someone, someone that maby has gone through the same issues. It might help, it will probably make whatever your dealing with easier to deal with, not having to bear the burden alone. Im not saying got to a shrink, just find someone that will listen that you trust and tell them. it will feel good to let whats pent up inside out, in a less violant way. I dont want you to do something that you will regret. Cutting is not "the cool" thing to do. Its not in style, so please dont hurt yourself just to be popular or something like that. i think your freind was wrong to yell, but you need some help to deal with things, there are allot of other options.

sweet heart,
cutting = bad
end of story
your old enough to know
that. Also if I was your friend
I would ave reacted the same way.