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Was I wrong??
well i recently got into an argument with someone who asked to borrow money from me. and to make the long story as short as possible, i have been saving money since my graduation and from the little bit of work here and there. i'm unable to work right now so i'm trying to save the best i can until i can get a good job.
even with that, this person still asks to borrow money from me. and of course i do (because we are close). she always pays me back but still. i've been wanting to open my own a bank account for awhile so i really hate to lend it out right now. the last time she asked me, i simply said "ok, i got something to ask you...not that i wont lend you the money, but if i didnt have the money, then what would you do?" and she got mad! she said "oh i see how it is...you know what, once i pay the rest of your money back i'll never borrow from you again. i was just testing you to see what you would say" what kind of shit was that? i was just being honest! i didnt think i was wrong for saying that. i mean, i dont have a job right now, she does! i just thought that was unfair. do you think i was wrong? |
I don't think you were wrong o:
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Of course you're not wrong!
What kind of friend would be testing someone like that? Hell, not a friend of course. If she doesn't understand how hard for you to save money then she would understand. Obviously she doesn't and doesn't care much about money. She has a job so why doesn't she just wait to get whatever. |
No, you weren't wrong. she might have thought you were getting annoyed with her asking however and reacted as if you were. Some folks respond like that. However, you were not in the wrong.
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I think the two of you should have a talk about this. She needs to know that while you are okay with lending her money, she shouldn't rely on you as a source for it all the time and has to respect when you cannot lend her anything. She might just have felt offended, and if so, it might be worth apologizing just to keep the peace.
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She says it like it's a bad thing for you!
"I'll stop borrowing money from you! That will show you!" :roll: lmao It's ridiculous Don't ever let someone take you for granted. And the next time she asks to borrow cash, remind her that she said she wouldn't do it again. |
My mom gave me a bit of advise when I moved out. Don't loan it out if you can't afford to go without it. As she put it, even the closest and most well meaning of friends can fall off of a cliff. If you gave them your grocery money then you'll be screwed.
Were you in the wrong? Nope, not at all. But seriously, don't loan it if you can't afford to loose it. |
i thought i was maybe a bit too bold for what i said...but i definitely need to discuss this more with her.
thanks to everyone for the input (: |
Oh hey, that's not nice that whole 'I was just testing to see what you sould say' thing...I was a little confused, did you say that or did she...because I got the impression that SHE was the one that said it.
I actually had a friend too that would borror money from me to buy lunch and stuff and I honestly wouldn't mind, in fact some times I would tell her don't worry about it she doesn't have to pay me back. Because lunches at my HS were like 3.75 (or around there) so it's not a ton of money...but she started to get into a rut and she would always ask to borrow money, and she started to not sit with me at lunch....and she would usually pay me back, but there was a point where she owed me kind of a lot of money and it was sort of the same thing that you're going through...I kind of asked her in light conversation because i didn't want her to get me if she would still be my friend if I didn't let her borrow money... And kiind of like your friend did she went off the deep end....she eventually paid me back, I don't know if it was exactly the right amount because I wasn't keeping exact tabs but I knew about what she owed me...and we just sort of had a falling out. We talk on occasion, but we're definitely not as close as we were in freshman and sophomore year...and now that I' a sophomore in college, I almost never see her because she started to get into drugs and...well bad stuff so...it's kind of sad.. If you really want to keep your friendship with her then explain that you don't have much money to lend out anymore, and if she really is your friend she should understand. |
Well, that was certainly nice of your friend to test your friendship in such a manner [/sarcasm]
How often does this friend borrow money from you? If she is doing it too often, I could possibly understand you asking the question. If not, then you may have been a little bold (like you said). You could have phrased it in a different manner. She probably took it as an accusing manner. I also think that your friend may not understand your financial status and plans. So you may want to talk to her able that. |
She's in the wrong there, not you. Don't worry about it. Let her cool down, and then talk to her about it.
I think it's rather selfish of her to expect you, who doesn't have a job and is trying to save money, to constantly lend her money. |
I think she is being very immature by acting that way and I think that you were very good in being honest with her in the first place. What a hissy fit she had with you over nothing, she is putting you out for lending money to her not the other way around.
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so yea, we have to just be careful about these situations. i would hate to lose someone as a friend over something like that ya know? its not worth it. hopefully i can get this thing worked out. i havent really confronted her about it again (although i need to) because we're still in the cool off process. i just dont want her to get the wrong idea of what i was trying to explain. |
Its your money.
Even if you harshly said no to her face, you still wouldn't be wrong. She's wrong, for being so ungrateful to you. |
It's your money. If she desperately needed the money then she should have just earned it herself. I once was in a situation like this but when I discovered what my friend was wasting the money that she borrowed from me, I instantly stopped. We are no longer friends, but having a freeloader on you is just horrible. You need money for the future. Your friend should not mess that all up. Testing you? Oh gosh. If she was a real friend she would be considerate of your own problems. Even if she does pay it back, having the money on you is better than just letting it go away.
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I don't feel like you were wrong for saying that. I've loaned a lot of money in my life, and it's been rare for it to come back. You've been lucky in the past. Especially when you're saving up for something, there's no reason you HAVE to lend money to anyone.
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You do not sound wrong to me.
I mean, it is your money, and seeing as you are a bit tight for cash, it is not suprising that you would have to ask that question. I thing her saying that she was 'testing' you is a big fib, and that she is flustered and trying to make herself out to be the victim or something. |
Of course you weren't in the wrong.
She shouldn't even be borrowing from someone without a job in the first place. That's just rude and selfish of her... |
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