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Boyfriend + crush problems.
I didn't want to post this on Roliana, since my boyfriend recently got an account there, but Menewsha's still safe.
LI, I got my first boyfriend the other day. And by the other day, I mean right after school today. I really do like this guy, he's a great friend and he's cuddly and he's nice and basically a total sweetheart. But I've still got a mongo crush on this senior, N, in one of my classes. And N knows I like him. So now I'm scared B (my boyfriend) will find out I like N, because he's the only one of my friends who didn't know. B's really nice and I like him and I don't want him to get hurt, and I like being with him. But now he's got a Roliana account and I'm scared he'll find all my posts about N. Plus, now I feel bad when I talk about N because I know I'm involved with B. DX Help me, LI ;w; |
If you want
to be with B then be with B if you want to be with N then drop B and be with N but dont lead them on cuz that's really mean. |
Well, if you aren't concerned about dating N now, don't worry about it.
If your boyfriend finds the posts, just tell him that you used to like N, but you don't anymore, and you like B better anyway. That's what I'd do. But I don't know everything about your situation. Do what you feel is right. |
I agree with Sweet. If B finds the posts just tell him that is in the past and you want to be with him. If you still like N and want to act on that then you shouldn't lead B on.
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Being honest with yourself and being honest with the people you like most is always the best policy in my books. I know life can get complicated but you really need to work out who you like the most and be honest with them about whats going on and talk to them and see if something can be worked out for all of yours sake in this situaion.
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i think you should tell B you like N, but still want a relationship with B. and if he doesn't still want to be with you, thenhe doesn't deserve to be with you. i know it may seem harsh, but if you keep that in your head, if he does break up with you, you won't feel as bad as if you diddn't.plus, he might respect that you came clean now, instead of him finding out on his own, which will only make hings worse for you.
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The thing for the senior guy sounds like crush/lust. Are you friends with him? If not, that's awkward.
As for your boyfriend.. I think you should think about this, forget about feelings, and ask yourself this: If the senior asked you out at school, would you say yes? I want you to take the question seriously. Because if he did ask you out while you were dating another guy, and said yes, forgetting about the other guy, that would just mess things up. Another question to ask yourself: Would you continue to go out with your current boyfriend out of guilt? Finally.. The last question...: If you had to choose one of them to date...Which one would it be? |
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That's just real hard. But the thing is, you have to be honest. If ever B finds out about your Roliana posts about N, then tell him the truth. Lying will only only make it worse, believe me.
I've had a guy whom I truly loved dump me because I told him about something, I decided it was the truth time, because I loved him and didn't want to lie to him. It didn't work well, but I feel so much better as a person and as a lady now because I chose to be truthful, not only to him but to myself. Lying always is a bad idea, so if he asks, tell the truth. Of course, considering that you'll say it in a really nice way, not having any intentions of hurting him. |
I'll just go and be right to the question. . .
If you got a crush on N and never had a crush on B then; Why the heck did you accepted to be the gf of B? If you go too much into not hurting other people then you will end up hurting yourself more than the people around you. If you liked all this time N, then why the heck did you accepted B when he asked you to be his gf? You know that by accepting to be the gf of B you have confirmed a relationship which was never really true and you have been hurting B all along since you never really had any feelings for him? |
Be REALLY careful about thinking too much about whether you don't like B. I'm not suggesting that you DON'T think about it, but it's really possible that you could be convincing yourself that you don't like him because you like N so much.
I'd suggest telling B, personally. It'll promote having a really open and honest relationship, and that's a very healthy thing~ Now, if you think it's true that you don't like B, you should end it with him before it gets too far. You can say that it's not working out for you or something-- I've never broken up with anyone or been broken up with, AND I don't know either of you, so I don't know how it would work out. P: I hope it works out for you somehow. |
Well...you like this senior guy, and I don't know, it could just be a phase with him. and it sounds like you'rewith a great guy already, I think I would see how that starts to turn out. :)
And as for thinking your boyfriend may find out about how you like 'N' just tell him that you both were not dating when you posted those things. |
Mmh.. Well, if you don't like your boyfriend more than a friend, then tell him that you don't think of him that way, and you don't want to hurt him. By not telling him, he'll be even more hurt later on if he finds out by accident or something.. It's good to have guy friends. I think you should just try to remain friends.
I think he'll respect you if you tell him, instead of keeping it in, and stringing him a long. |
If you like N, why did you agree to be with B? ><
Forget about N for now and be with B. You agreed to be his girlfriend and it's your job to be a GOOD girlfriend unless he gives you a reason not to be. It's not fair to either of them if you're dating one and liking the other. Just focus on B for now or dump him. Do not lead him on. It will destroy your friendship if you do that. D: |
There, there, I broke up with him.
Happy now? Dx |
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Is that what you wanted to do? Do you feel you made the right decision? I hope you did. I hope everything turns out well. :3 |
TheSatah - Yeah. I know I made the right decision, but I still feel bad about it ;w;
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