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I don't know ....
http://www.stepfamilytalk.com/wp-con.../depressed.jpg
What to do, say, or feel. (I honestly have no one I can turn to in real life now, which I know is pathetic) I met a really nice guy at the college I attend. He has a girlfriend. After several weeks I told him how I felt. I was afraid to tell him, and even though he told me he felt the same, I shouldn't have said anything. He also said he needed to wait for the "perfect time" to break up with his girlfriend. He told me he had been wanting to end the relationship with her for a few months, and that he was going to do it before Christmas. Now he says he is going to do it after Christmas. I understand, but I can't just can't wait any longer. It's not fair to her or me. Then he said he didn't want to see me until he broke up with his girlfriend. We got into an argument last night. He called me, we talked for a few minutes, he hung up on me, I called him back, started crying, and told him I had to go. I called him back later and told him I was over it. When he asked me if I was over him, I said no. But honestly, I don't know if I am or not. What should I do? Should I try and be patient? |
This may come out harsh, but I mean well I swear!
Give him the boot. Even if he's not stringing you along, he obviously doesn't give his current girlfriend the respect she deserves, and that shouldn't be the spot you want to fill. He will treat you the same when/if you become his girlfriend and then you will have to put up with that emotional abuse. Don't even think that one day you won't be the girlfriend he 'can't break up with'. He quite obviously has no problem stringing girls along. No matter if it's intentional or not, he still does it. Save yourself some heartache and find a guy who knows how to treat a woman. |
Wow..I agree with Nissa. :)
You deserve someone better then that. And i'm sure you'll be glad you did once you find that right person. <333 |
Oh, Nissa is exactly right. This behavior just shows what kind of man he is when he's dating someone... And do you want him to do that to you?
No guy is worth that, especially now that you know he could be plotting to break up with you if you were to ever get together. (Did that make sense? It didn't come out as well as I wanted it too...) |
Exactly. I'm worried that once we're going out, he'll eventually do the same thing to me. I've tried to explain how I feel, but he just doesn't understand, I guess.
I don't want to lose him, but it's breaking my heart at the same time. :( |
I'd say be patient.. I mean.. just think how it will ruin his girlfriends christmas if he leaves him before christmas. I've been there, and it was NOT nice..
and I agree with the others, he could do the same for you.. but if you haven't been kissing with him or anything like that, then I think it's fine. atleast he's not a cheater in that case. |
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To me, I'd rather be told. x_x It's just unkind to do that to a person, and if I were Ariel, I wouldn't want the chance of him doing that to me... But that's just my opinion. :/ As for the guy not understanding it, most guys, when all they can think of is instant happiness (he's probably bored with his current girlfriend but doesn't want to be rash, either), they don't understand. Also he might think he's hot shit and can't understand why you wouldn't want him no matter what, but I'd like to think that he isn't like that. x.x I would try to just be his friend, unless you can't handle that, or he can't. Otherwise, you just have to do what's best for you. |
I don't think you should have told him in the first place. As you said, he has a girlfriend. If he's been dating her for awhile, he might end up telling "after valentines day" and keep stalling it.
I'd get over him. Find some clubs to join around campus, meet new people, make friends. Possibly find someone else you could fall for. |
I agree with what's been said. I don't think he deserves you. He's being indecisive and inconsiderate. From what I've seen (as an uninvolved bystander to all that high school drama-rama, nasty stuff that) this start says that the relationship isn't going to go well for very long even after he breaks up with his current girlfriend.
You're first response that it needs to end was probably right. |
well... thats a really hard one.
I think if you really like him then you should try to wait it out but if he really deserved you then he would make more of an effort instead of dragging you along like this. By the way if thats you in the photo don't look so sad! it will become easier either way, you just need to keep plodding on until something happens and it works out. I hope it works out for the best for you and you become happy. |
...Oh dear.
He does NOT deserve you. At ALL. I mean, I have encountered those types of guys before -- the kind that would tell you they like/love you but are in a relationship. And then they say that they're waiting for a perfect time to "end it" with the other girl, but it never seems to happen. Thus, leaving you waiting until you can wait no more. That's just, typical of them. Give him an ultimatum, I say make him choose if he really wants to date you or not. It's not fair he keeps you "on hold" while still seeing his girlfriend. That's just unfair. |
agreed wit all the others might sound harsh, but he might just be stringing u along, like a backup............... That was wierd but i see it as that, Just be careful but truthfully let the guy go if hes really into u as he says he is when/if he leaves her he will come to u
its not fiar to u to wait |
He doesn't deserve you. I mean, he doesn't have respect for his girlfriend, and that's not a good place to be in. It seems he's pulling your string, making and breaking promises, just leave him alone. It's like he placing you as the position of backup girlfriend, and that's not right.
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exactly what i meant in my post rainbow, i'd like to call what hes doing tou the emotional feeder scenario (sp) he's "feeding" of ur feelings emotiiond u have for him, and this might sound wierd rude/harsh call it what u like but i think he's enjoying the ride he's takeing u both on. No 1 knows what he's tellin her he might be telling her exactly the same things as he is tellin u. Back to what i said yesterday just be uber careful i'd rather let him go until he decides who/what he wants. P.s Love is freaking wonderful but very very dangerous to our hearts.
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yes, I would have rather been with the guy. it got me really depressed not to be with him and not be able to tell anyone about it. not even friends. christmas is the best time for lovers in my opinion.. because christmas IS all about the love. I was really hurt. besides, he left me in a moment of thought, he wanted me back pretty soon after that, but it took me more than six months to get over the whole thing.. lots of tears and breakdowns. it's all okay now though, eventually I was able to trust my feelings again and let him back into my life. now we are doing better than ever :3 we got engaged and we live together, he treats me better and everything.. but christmas is nearing and it's turning my stomach upside down. like, thanks for the memory dear :F |
I hope that things have worked out
with you and him, it must be hard though with the waiting and not knowing *huggles* |
Don't do it. He's probably the type of guy who has to constantly date someone. You're just going to end up being a "cushion".
I know someone who had a crush on their best friend and when they started dating she was really happy. When they broke-up however, he told her she was just a "rebound". It basically destroyed her happiness for months. I'd say ditch him. If he loved you back he wouldn't make you wait. He's just waiting until he's desperate so he can use you like a cushion. One thing about cushions is it always hurts for the cushion.reak up Be safe and abandon him. There are a lot nicer people. Try making friends instead of finding relationships. Love isn't something you should chase after. Love finds you, not the other way around. Edit - I'd also like to mention that if you were to end up dating him and you were to break up where would you fall? Since you said you had no friends I'd suppose concrete. Before even thinking of starting a relationship it's best to make friend's first. Preferably ones that stay during ups and downs. If he broke up with you and nobody was around to catch you when you fell it would only hurt you more. |
Defiantly doesn't deserve you. If he can string -her- along for so long, don't you think there are high chances of him doing it to you as well?
Your quite pretty, beautiful even from the photo. I'm -quite- sure that sooner or later someone -amazing- whom can appreciate you for whom you are, as you are, will come. |
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