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Weird Dreams and Sleeping issues. Pushing me over edge
I am seriously going fucking crazy here.
I haven't slept for the past few days, but It all started when I got Call of Duty 4. I got it because a friend had it, and me and him never talk anymore. But anyways. that's a good game. Call of Duty 4. After beating the story on Veteran, I started to play online. I started to have flashbacks of being overseas and stuff, so I stopped playing and just got on the IRC/Voicechat with him. After another few hours of tweaking my character and talking, I logged off to sleep. I couldn't sleep. I laid in my bed until 9 in the morn, when I opened my curtains I realized the time. I immediately went to the Local VA to see my Doctor and Psychotherapist. The PT told me I had went through some real stress recently, and I should do things I enjoy. The doctor told me it might be PTSD which I am already Diagnosed with, but whatever. I started to get back on playing Halo 3. After 5 hours of playing Rocket Race, I got tired. so, I laid down, and still couldn't fall into slumber. I walked into the VA at 4 in the morning demanding to see my PT. After a 3 hour session with her, she said that I should just go on a trip somewhere! Well I can't, I told her. She said to just stay off the computer and not watch anything pertaining to anything with Guns or War or Foreign affairs. I did and I met the most wonderful woman ever at the local GameStop (Weird hookup, I know) Well, she invited me over and told me to bring my 360. We played some System linked halo 3 then some CoD. After I had left, I fell asleep! but I had the most horrid nitemares I think i've ever had. Flashbacks of War. I know it's not Shellshock. That's much worse. But... It CAN'T be PTSD. I'm really down on my nerves right now. I'm forced to take Meds to go to sleep, and others to supress brain activity during the sleep cycles. It's getting to the point where I can't even get in my car in the mornings and take my daily walk around the mall. I talked to heather (The girl I am currently with [go me]) and she said it was probably all the good stuff happening bringing out the bad in me. I'm scared. I'm a military man. I have access to weaponry. I'm afraid that some how or another, I'm going to either: Sleepwalk and off myself Get crazy ideas while I trip out on my meds and off myself. Thats just being paranoid. But another thing I noticed: I'm becoming more and more paranoid as the days go on. I can't even walk to the corner store without looking over my shoulder every 10 seconds. I get all antsy near Children, and can't stand it when people are talking on their Cell phones. I don't know whats happening to me, and Need some guidance as to what to do. my PT isn't helping any. She's just throwing out bullshit. My doctor is like, 80somethign and doesn't know shit from this. |
O_O Wow, this sounds really bad. I don't want to join the military EVER because either you have the possible chance of getting killed, and also, after coming back from a war, your never going to be normal. Just like how you typed that you constantly look back and stuff, it's not normal. You don't see people doing that often, hardly ever for me XD I know its good to be in the Military, cause your protecting everyone and saving people, but, there are consequences to it. Unfortunately, I don't have any advice to give you, but I do wish you good luck, and hope you find some kind of solution that can help you.
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I used to be in the military and come from a military family.
My father was in the vietnam war (conflict?) and still to this day has flashbacks. They're actually getting worse. He's told my mother not to wake him up because he might hurt her. Maybe you should try anti-depressants, or something that would make you less stressed. Worrying about it more will probably trigger your anxiety disorder (it's what it sounds like). I would also suggest getting rid of the game, even if it is good, why would you want to play something that reminds you of your overseas time? Also get rid of the firearms. Put them in storage or pawn them or sell them. I know it's probably a lot of money down the drain but it's not worth your life. The fact that your paranoid of it might be a signal that your brain is trying to tell you something. I would just cut out from my life the things that are making you paranoid... the game triggered it so get rid of it. Halo 3 is awesome but not worth it. Goodluck finding suitable advice... I'm not sure how much this forum can offer on this situation seeing as it's not something that is ... often expressed here. |
I suffer from a good deal of paranoia at times about my sanity and am afriad that'll hurt someone else or myself without meaning to. I've never been in the military though my uncle is a marine. You know too much and have seen too much, that is why you feel the way you do. A person blocks out most of the horrors of life in order to remain sane, like me, you can't let them go and your head is full of them. Unfortunately, mine are mostly my knowledge of the horrors that occur and my vivid imagination, while yours are actual memmories. That is a lot worse. Try to do things that are relaxing. Take a bath, meditate, play non-violent games. Also, when you generate adrenaline, it takes hours to wear off. Stop playing games a few hours before you plan to sleep or you won't be able to sleep. If there is anything you need to talk through, you can contact me. It most likely is PTSD to some degree. Many war veterans suffer from it and your symptoms seem to match. I'd try and help your problem from that angle. I've never been able to handle any form of mental doctor, it semms like all they do is nod and write things down, I can understand why yu are frustrated with yours. |
That's a really bad case as everyone here has said but, you must put away every gun or anything related to war video games, it might even have to sell the games Halo 3, Call of Duty 4 and so on, that has trigger you to have a lot of flashbacks that didn't happened before and now that you have a gf, it is time for you to take care of yourself more. Most of the doctors just write and listen but never give you a good answer, in fact my sister had a doctor who would always say she was right even if she was wrong and that created a lot of conflict with the family.
But I would really suggest you to sell the games ack to the store. |
Wow...I hope things get better for you...i'm sure it will in time. Being in the war and seing the things you saw and have been through will definitely cause bad memories and problems, but it doesn't mean you cant get over it, at least somewhat. Just remember what you did, serving in the war, was a brave thing to do and many people are thankful to you. :)
I think your paranoia, looking back constantly, are effects from the war, like you said. I'm not sure what you could do to try and help it, but maybe if you start getting like that, just try to remind yourself, everythings okay, you aren't in war anymore and theirs no need to worry. Maybe that would help? And as far as those nightmares...your mind is probably still traumatized from what you've seen, so it's replaying events that happened. It will take a long time to get over, but you'll be able to feel better eventually. Maybe try to get a new counselor? Yours doesn't seem to be a good one. It's a good thing to talk to someone about it because it might help you heal and forget some of what happened, get it off your chest. :] Take care always, ~ Aurora <333 |
It could be the ammount of gaming that your doing and the games your playing on which are affecting you. There is alot of proof to suggest the violent games contruibute to violent behavior or by getting to a point where you have played on a game that much that you do what happens in the game in reality. That's happened a few times in England resulting with bans on certain games. I myself have played on games that much that they did affect my sleep and I had some really weird dreams mainly involving the doom eye from Shadow The Headgehog game. I woke up and I was like what the hell was all that about. Then again my dreams are always messed up. The games you play on and the TV shows that you watch can affect your dreams. GIVE UP THE HALO DUDE give it up or get someone in your house/flat where ever you are staying to have a house rule that you are NOT EVER allowed to play on any war games. Thankyou Ctrl+Alt+Del webcomics for that idea.
It sounds as if the paranoia could be related to the games you've been playing as well. Real or not these flashback in your dreams could cause you to do something stupid.Give up any violent games before you hurt yourself or someone else. You being able to access the things you can is even more of a reason to give up on the games and maybe seek better help. |
Staff Sergeant, I'm really sorry you're having to go through this mess. My Master Sergeant in NJROTC always used to tell us he'd never talk about what happened to him in battle. He told us he still got nightmares sometimes too. My Daddy still has nightmares too, sometimes. He has insomnia on top of that and never sleeps much anyway, so he has it pretty bad when nightmares wake him up.
I'm not an expert or anything, obviously, and I'm only 17 (Turning 18 woo!) but, my suggestions are: Stop playing war games for a bit or, if you're just too bored to do that, play them less. Or at least don't play them before you go to bed. You should probably turn them off an hour or so before you go to bed and just sit Zen. Just sit down somewhere and turn off all noise (Or put on some music you like). (I know most people can't sit still, but it really might help.) Clear your mind of anything war related and just think about things you like or love. Just relax for a bit. Or, exercise right before you go to bed. It'll make you tired and you'll be too into it to think about anything horrible. Personally, I think talking to a PT is going to make things worse. They tell you all the psycho babble shit and never actually HELP. They listen TOO MUCH. Maybe talk to someone who'll harass you a bit. Maybe it'll help. DIs do that at boot camp, do they not? Knock you down and build you back up again. Maybe you just need that for the flashbacks. Talk to someone you trust that'll just say things to try to help and probably not actually mean it. (If that makes sense.) I hope I made a slight amount of sense, if nothing else. PM me if you need me to explain anything better. @[email protected] I wish you the best, hun. I really do. I know what it's like to go through traumatic things. (I had a door kicked in on my house when I was about 6 or 7 and I've been raped twice. It kills me sometimes when I see Halo, a 360 or anything Naruto related because the two guys I was raped by were into those things. But, I'm dealing with it my own way and I'm getting over it.) |
Hello dear!
I'm finishing up nursing school so I have a bit of background in the field of medicine. I disagree with whoever told you to take antidepressants. And the person who said not to go to a PT I disagree with as well. I have sound reasons and background info to back it up. But this is about you! I noticed you said it can't be PTSD, well in your circumstance it probably is PTSD from the small glimpse into your life that you've provided us with. I'd be more than happy to talk with you via pm about it in depth. I don't want to knock you over with an obnoxiously long post. ^.^ I can tell you little techniques that may help when these episodes occur. As far as PTSD goes, it usually occurs about three months post after the traumatizing event. Also, if you seek help with this issue you can gradually recover. The most important thing is to seek help! If you wait it will get worse. I'd be more than happy to share any knowledge that I have and to hopefully help you through this difficult time. I'll send a pm your way. I'm on every day, so I'm available. I wish you health and luck with tackling this issue and hopefully it will be resolved so you can return to the way your life was. |
If the PT isn't helping right now and you don't like talking to her, you honestly shouldn't go. It WILL make things worse.
Not trying to pick a fight or be rude or anything, but Moonflower seems too sure of herself and she's obviously never been in a situation where she needed to talk to a trained specialist. If she's in nursing school, how does she have the time to be on Mene every day? And, the PT completely depends on your personal feelings toward talking to one. Yours obviously isn't helping. |
You might want to try going to a therapist. They are someone who you can talk to and they can give you advice better than what we (the people on ther interwebs) can. I went to a therpist about anxiety and they didn't really help me at all. You might want to talk about what you've been through you might.
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w0w this sounds serious, I don't know how much advice I can give as such but all I can really say is that maybe you need some different hobbies to redirect your mindset? and if all your phsycologist can say is that maybe you need to go on a holiday then perhaps you should get another one? just a thought...
But still You control you're actions, even when you are sleeping you still make choices. I think that you are just overreacting to the emotions and perhaps shouldn't be alone right now? I don't know, its just what I'm thinking after I've read it coz I know I wouldn't want to be alone going through that. I hope things get sorted for you soon. |
Have you tried calming exercises? Yoga, meditation, etc? You've tried pushing the stuff away and it looks like it's not helping, so try to find out how to deal head on with it maybe? I've been traumatized in my past, and that was what got me through. Therapy, meditation, and a white Russian before bed. Of course yours is a lot different then mine, but I'd still give it a shot.
Another thing, have you tried to find a group of soldiers suffering from the same problem online? It could help to have people to talk to that are going through the same thing. |
Kegokec's comment made me lol. If you're not walking in someone else's shoes don't make assumptions.
Anyways, this topic is about Sergeant's problem, not how I spend my time or my past experience. XD |
First of all, get rid of all triggers. You don't necessarily have to sell them, just pack them all in a box and have a friend stick them in his attic or something; somewhere that you can't get direct access to, but can have back later when you're feeling better.
And get a new therapist. I know from experience that A LOT of them are full of shit. You just have to go through trial and error until you find one that helps, and yours seems to do jack shit. |
Okay.
These past few days I: Sold my Limited Edition Gears of War 360 faceplate to a collector on E-Bay for $70. I sold off all of my War Games to GameStop for In Store Credit. I loaded up on some PC games that did not include guns. I can't Legally pawn off my Desert Eagle, because it is a .50 Caliber weapon and it's government issue, so I told the Sergeant Major at the Barrack to hold it in the Armory for me until this is resolved. I also told him not to give it back to me for another 4 months. I talked to a better doctor (Civilian but he supposedly graduated from Harvard Medical) and he asked if I had any traumatic stress while overseas. I told him of my short skirmish with insurgents and he suggested Zoloft, but I can't take it due to medicinal incompatibilities so he just told me to paint my walls black or grey (Which I am doing right now. My cousin is angry at me) So I'm gonna try this out, and If I have anymore problems I'm going on a trip to see America and the World. This time, though, without military presence. |
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