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Does it? Huh. Well, here's a brownie from this Tuesdays Brownies from sixth period. Have fun tomarrow!
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Okay, I am sticking this here, because no one has responded yet to my theological question that I added. So maybe now someone will respond to my wonderment.
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Honestly, I tried being comforted about knowing Da (my grandfather) went to a better place. I'm raised Greek Orthodox and believe that there is a God but it didn't help. It made me angry because God took my Da from me before I was ready to give him up, before I got to tell him everything, right when I finally got to the intellectual level to have full fledged conversations and when my boyfriend and I were beginning to seriously discuss marriage. God took him away and boy am I going to have a serious discussion with Him when I die because of it.
Some find comfort, I just found contempt so I try not to think about that. I was happy when I thought of how proud Da would be/is that I graduated with my Bachelors and that my boyfriend proposed but it also hurt because I couldn't celebrate with him. Its sad but its almost been a year and it still hurts. I do remember the hospital priest come into the room soon after Da died, I wanted to kill him when he said it was Da's time and that God had a plan. I was seriously angry, I have never wanted to hurt someone so much in my life but I really wanted to do that man damage. I was grinding my teeth as he said the prayers because I knew he thought he was helping and all he was doing was making it hurt more. |
Thank you for your thoughts nike13. It is just a hard thing to deal with. I am sorry for your lose. After all of the damage that death causes it is hard to think that this is what God intended. But then I think of something that contradicts what I think. It is all the years I have been in private school. There is pretty much an answer grained into my head about almost anything. But I cannot seem to think of anything that answers how I feel, not just how I think. I know that God has a plan, I know all of that, but my emotions want to go in another direction. How do you fight between your emotions and your head? How can one win?
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@ Anoni: I understand the point you are making. And I am a Christian too, so that is the answer I would probably give to people. But what if she was not a Christian? No one knows for sure either way. But does it not mean that now she is suffering even more in hell if she actually was not a Christian? And if so, then what can anyone say or do that will help. And if this is not the case with my grandma, then what if it is with somebody else who died? How does the corny answer help people grieving for them? I am just looking for some type of answer, I do not mean to attack anyone, because I agree with most of you. My questions just are not completely answered yet.[/color]
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I kinda know how you feel but my friend who got in a care wreck is'nt dead yet. Oh by the way , here is my story.
My best friend Cody Johnson , got in a car reck while driving to higschool. It was already first period and me and my friends were worried because Cody did'nt show up at school. Well all of the sudden Me and my friends who knew Cody , got called down to the office. The pricible told us that Cody was in a terrible car reck. A drunk driver hit Cody. No one at my school knows that I love Cody. Not as a brother but as a boyfirend. I love him. I stood there , shocked and tears in my eye's. I never cry in front of anyone. Never. But it upset me so much. I started crying my eye's out. I was so upset. I ran out of the office and went to the bathroom. I cryed for 2 hours and I was really glad no one came and got me. But then I finally came out for lunch after I dryed it up and you could'nt tell that I had been crying. Everyone looked at me when I walked in the cafeteria. They stared for the longest time and I went to sit with my other friends. One reason I was so upset that Cody got in a car reack was because of the fact is that he was in very bad condition and Cody might not live. I was afraid that I would never get to tell him how I felt about him. I went to the hospital and I watched him sleep forever. I sat there and cryed while I watched and talked to him. Althought he could not hear me. So , finally I went to the church and I prayed for him. I usaually don't pray but I was so worried about Cody. This all happened in the past two days. Now , I am doing nothing but crying and avoiding my firend's. |
@ TheDemonPrincess16: I am so sorry to hear your story. I hope and pray that he gets better. I understand why you are avoiding your friends, especially the ones at school. You mentioned that no one at your school knows that you love him. Does that mean that there is a friend who does not go to your school that you could talk to? If so you should confide in them. It is always good to at least have one person you can talk to. Regardless of whether or not they go to your school. Please keep me up on what is going on. Maybe I can be someone you can talk to if you want that. I hope he gets better and lives.
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Re: My Grandma Died
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I believe in God, but at the same time I don't. But more or less I do believe in God because he answers my prayers. My religion, Christian (but not strongly). |
In church today the preacher said that when we can fall down with our faith, but we do not stay down. We eventually get back up, because we never lost our faith. Do you think that is possible? How important is it to keep your faith strong all the time? Is it okay to have doubts? Is it not how we questioning things and learn? I am starting to annoy myself with all of these corny questions. But to finish it up: I have more questions then answers, so if anybody has any words of wisdom, personal experience, pretty much anything at this point. I will be here.
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I tend to bury my emotions until I hit something or cry (usually both at the same time, my pillow gets a beating). So until I've gotten an emotional beating to my limit, my head wins. I logic things out and try to lock things up. I only break down when my grandma gets exceptionally infuriating, she tries to make fights (doctor says because she's bored and misery loves company). I eventually give in because I can't stand her abusing me or my family the way she does. This is linked to my grandfather's death because she used to be a lot nicer before that happened, now she keeps insinuating we treat her like shit (excuse my language). The fact that this happened after my grandfather died makes me wonder even more why God would want to do this to my family. My mom's been through enough already without everything that's been happening this past year. |
what a horrible coincidence..
my grandma died a couple of weeks ago from cancer.. I'm still upset about it of course, the hardest thing was for me to grasp that she's not here anymore, she's not anywhere anymore and she'll never be here again. I'm an atheist.. its easier for my christian relatives to just think that she's "in a better place" or "in God's hands now" or in heaven.. and all of that. for me she's just gone and I'm missing her like crazy. but maybe she's better off dead, she was suffering with the cancer. I just wish she hadn't had to get it, its not fair. there was more she wanted to do that now she can't. I don't believe in God or anything so I just think of death as your.. self ceasing to exist. you just leave your corpse behind and cease to exist. its simple, nothing more to it.. but in the end.. who knows. there was an event with my great-grandma that makes me doubt my nonbeliefs a little. My relatives decided not to tell my great-grandmother about her daughter dying because she is 92 and has dementia and is mostly gone already so she doesn't need the grief of her daughter dying on her mind.. but when my mother and uncle visited her in the nursing home, she suddenly became alert and awake and knew something was wrong. then she started having sort of visions of things about the funeral and how my grandmother's dress was cut open in the back for some funeral reason.. and that her hands were folded across her chest. she was seeing these things and somehow knew that all the relatives were in town.. and she figured it out and started weeping.. but then she said that my grandma was sitting right next to her.. my mom thinks that since my great-grandma is "half-way to the other side" that she can see things on both "sides".. I dunno about all that but it is hard to justify with my beliefs.. I'm sorry for your loss and hopefully for you, you're religious so this will be a little easier for you... |
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