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I'm sorry about this - I'm not quite sure what to say. Myabe just sit her down and explain to her the reasons you don't want her to date him. Maybe she'll understand. But maybe you might have to back off a while. If you can't get through to her, let her make her own mistake and when he breaks up with her she'll cry and you'll be there for her to help her. Don't say I told you so, but it'll help her learn you know? You said he has been through many many girlfriends since you - so how long do you think they're going to last.
Also - sometimes people can't help liking someone. They might say they would never like a person and end up liking them. In my case - my boyfriend was dating this other girl and even though I KNEW they were dating I still had a huge crush on him the entire time. But he and I were still bestfriends. and they broke up. and a couple months later he asked me out and we've been doing fine ever since. You know? I feel bad that I'm dating the guy that she used to date - but she went into the relationship with him KNOWING that I liked him as well. So it was fair to me. and really - I love him SO much - it's almost 5 months that we have been dating now and we've never even argued about anything - lol. I love him so much <3 Perhaps she can't help but love him - and perhaps he might end up loving her so much he'll change his ways? You never no. My guess is that you should try to explain and then just back off and let whatever happens happen because you can't do much right now. She lied to you and she'll need to get your trust back - but is it really worth losing your best friend over? |
My sister just went through a similar problem, and most of the people she confided in said she had a right to hate the liar.
I think yes, you may hate this girl as much as you want; she doesn't seem to care for your feelings as much as a good friend should. |
Sounds like quite a problem.
Well... if you care about her, you don't have to hate her. But if you just don't want to be involved, tell her you're going to distance yourself a little and tell her to come to you if something back happens. I did that with my friend Amy... I distanced myself from her after she started dating a guy I liked over a year ago. Since then me and her stopped being friends, I ignore her very existance now. But that's for other reasons. If you want to be her friend but not want to be involved, tell her your just distancing yourself from a bad situation and that you'll only be there when she needs to be comforted because of him. |
Man if a so called friend lied like that to me then they'd be ditched faster then a gun ditches a bullet. But then all my life I've had people lie to me and give me bullshit so I'm used to giving them the contempt they deserve.
I have only 3 friends but I would trust those friends with my life. I can't name any other people who would have been with me in A&E (ER top US readers) till 3am whilst I was chucking my guts up. |
Update;
I found out She was writing Notes about me. my friend who found one gave it to me. >_>; Shes also being a total bitch now and making everyone hate me and ignore me. -Bleh- DX -cuddles lanackse- DX I've had to deal with that too. thats why if you lie to me i think a friend ship isn't good. Thank you everyone. :] Ive read everything you've all said. <3 thanks a lot, for the help ;p |
I would personally kick her ass for lying to you,and Austin's for have a large amount of ex's. Why not sit down and talk to your friend though? Because if Austin had 15 girlfriends she'll be the next one to break up with,and such break-ups are painful.
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Rofl XD i want to but >_>; Bleh. DX
i did Talk to her though. A LOT I mean for a week i did. like 2-3 times a day. She wanted a guy who's going to break up with her more then a friend shes had for most of her life -.-; |
*is back again* If she's going out of her way to be mean to you, then maybe you should just tell her that you're going to let her be then. =| it sucks, but you shouldn't have to deal with that either.
Just tell her to remember that you're still there for her perhaps? If the guy is a jerk and it takes a turn for the worst, she might need a friend. *hugs* |
Hate is an emotion, you have every right to feel it. It's not like its something you have control over. But yes, I'd feel betrayed to if I were in your shoes. But from the sound of it you aren't exactly the understanding type so she might have kept it from you because of that.
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About her writing those notes:
The truth always will out, and her lies will turn against her in the end. It may not seem like it now but those that say nasty thing against others often are more hated then the person being said about. |
I would be pretty pissed off. I'm not sure I'd ever say anything like that though. I'm not really saying you shouldn't have. It's more that I don't really have it in me to tell people off.
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Of course you have right. She promised you, right? Real friends wouldn't do something like that, especially best friends D:
Don't keep in grudges though, she kind of got her punishment, since her boyfriend broke up with her, and there might be a reason behind that. Maybe she broke up with him or he broke up with her because they thought that it was wrong. Or something. Mebbe she didn't mean any harm, and she didn't want to hurt you by letting you know. Of course in the end that ends up hurting people more that anything, but that's how stupid the world is. I'd say yes you have a right to be angry, but just let it go. You can't stay mad forever. ;D |
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yes, you have the right to be mad at her.
But you said you wanted to care for her and don't want her to be hurt because your ex. Did you tell her that? Or did you let that slid away from your head because you were too mad at her. Sometimes love cannot be stopped. Sometimes a person cannot choose with their brains who they want to be with, because their hearts takes the steps to them. Why did she lie to you, why didn't she tell you. She was probably scared, she didn't want to get hurt, but either way you would and you will. I think you two can still be friends. You should talk. Friendships shouldn't be broken by a guy. |
Well, that's a downer.
I had a similar situation. You do have every right to be angry at her, but hating her and never talking to her again may be a bit extreme. She did lie and that deserves anger, and maybe a little yelling. But, don't just leave her. When she gets hurt at least try to be there for her, if you're still angry, then just ignore her. Don't rub it in her face, no "I told you so"'s just, let it be. I hope everything works out D; |
You can be angry, and you have the right. Just don't keep any grudges afterwards. ^ ^ |
Well, the truth is, people can be mad whether they actually the right to be or not. Emotion is not a logical thing and therefore cannot be dictated by logic.
I get that you're upset. I would be too. At the very least your friend should have told you, rather than lieing to you and avoid you. If she likes your ex then she can't help that, but that doesn't make it okay to lie about it. And if she knows how he is and what he does then she's going to hurt by him too and she'll have no one to blame but herself. I think you have ever right to be mad at her. Maybe not because she likes him and is with him, but because she lied to you about it. A good friend, in that situation, would have approached you and told you how she felt about him, not avoided you. |
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