Dear _______,
You have no idea how much you pain me most of the time, your constant abandonment has made it really hard for me to let people in. When you told me that you had moved on with your life I wondered if I would ever feel anything worse the day you picked your husband over me and my sister I didn't think that I would make it but I did, and then he died you tried to bring yourself back into my life but the only think you ever wanted me for was to take care of my sisters now you have a new boyfriend and you never talk to me I am really hoping that this time I am stronger you will never understand the amount of pain you have caused to me and my sister what really pisses me off now is that you are so selfish that you actually want my boyfriend what type of mother are you I will be happy when my little sisters are 18 and I never have to speak to you again eventually you may grow up and stop acting like a sixteen year old untill you do don't worry about me because I have people that love me
Yours truly,
Your Daughter

Dear friends,
sorry i cnt trust you guys. srry im not the same person u 1st met. srry i hate life... srry i cnt tell u this 2 ur face... sorry that every smile i do are fake, but i do it so much that u probably think its real... sorry that i lie to you guys when u ask me wats wrong n i say nutten

Dear ___,

It’s safe to say that some people should not be parents; that person being you. At your age you should not be taking care of a teenager, let alone three children on top of that. You wanted kids, so you tried and tried and when you had me I wasn’t good enough, so you adopted three more. Do you really think a woman going on sixty should be raising children she can not relate to? You are by far the worst parent I have ever seen. All you wanted was the glory of being a mother, and once I was old enough you shoved the kids in my direction. I am a teenager, I am not a mother. It took you how long to figure that out?

What was worse mom the fact that you didn’t listen to me when I told you I didn’t want to be a sister anymore or when you willingly neglected me? Did you know that you’re part of the reason why Juan targeted me? He saw that you wanted nothing to do with me when you had the other kids to raise, so he used me. Gained my trust, and then he tore me apart. I was seven. S.e.v.e.n. I was a child, and I already knew men as monsters and I couldn’t turn to you because I knew you wouldn’t have believed me, and I thought you wouldn’t love me , as if you did at the time.

When I finally told someone I told dad, crying to him to not tell you. But he did, and then what do you do? Take me to a shrink and when I try to get better tell me it’s all in my head. What a nice thing to say to someone who is trying to heal. As the depression grew you wanted nothing to do with me. You told me that it was my fault. My fault? How? You took me off my medication and you forced me out of therapy. And you call yourself a mother. You don’t want to see that there may be something wrong with me after all. You don’t want to take responsibility for your own actions and in return you accuse me of making it all up.

You tell me I can talk to you but how can I talk to you when you tell me it’s all in my head? That I need no help, I’m making it up? Do you know that I want to die? Do you know anything about me? No, you know nothing. So stop asking me about what I want for my birthday because you won’t like my answer. I wish I was dead. That is what I want. I am tired of meeting your expectations. Why bother? I’m the biggest fuck up anyway, in your eyes I am nothing. So why not get rid of me altogether? You made it clear that you would rather raise someone else’s children then your own.

It's funny. I had so much to say to you and now, I can't even form the words to describe how much I loathe you.

Dear neighbor
You are p!$$ing me off now, "Little Girl" I'm 23 years old Goddamn it. I can do what I want, when I want, how I want! You act like you have a say in my life, you live across the street that's it, you don't like who I bring home or when I come home too damn bad! It's not my fault that you work nights, I don't like it when you wait for me to come home so you can yell at me for what my Roomies did, that's them not me, go act like a big man somewhere else, I don't have time for your bull! If you want to call my landlord, do it for a good reason he's sick of you, I'm sick of you, go get a life!

Dear Alex,

I look up to you as a role model and as an ideal older brother. I know out friendship isn’t the closest but I truly believed that I could confide in and trust in you. Once you graduated we barely spoke and then when I got a job where you did things were okay for a while, then you always feel through on the plans we would make and I was okay with it because you promised to make it up to me. Months passed and still nothing. Then you started to date this girl who started the same day I did and well, let’s just say I really took a backburner for her. We haven’t hung out or really talked in such a long time. I really miss it and honestly, I don’t have an issue with who you see but it’d be nice if you could make time for me. Remember we used to be friends?

What I loved more than anything was just being in the car with you and you’re not a bad driver, but it felt nice when you zoomed down the highway and I was in the passenger seat with you, just talking and listening to the radio. Now, what do we do? See each other at work once in a while. What a friendship. You have school and so do I. I don’t know how to make this work. You mean a lot to me and I don’t know why I feel so sad. Why can’t I tell you this? Why can’t I just flat out say “ I’m a bad friend but I’d like to make it up to you? “ Because I am afraid. I’d love if you’d offer to do just one thing with me. I don’t like being treated as an after thought. It hurts beyond belief.

I thought maybe I found a way to hang out with you, although it’s not all fun and games but you just blew me off tomorrow so you cold hang out with your girlfriend and I allowed it. I said that it was fine and that my birthday ( which you don’t even know is Monday) is fine. So I decided I’m not telling you about my birthday. I’ll do the math program with you and I’ll just ignore the fact that there is a knife in my heart. Is it that hard a date to remember? I know when your birthday is. Am I asking too much here Alex? Truly what am I doing wrong?

Dad.
I hate you. I used to love you, but you fucked up far too many times for me to just keep forgiving you. I don't choose to hate you. But every time you walk toward me, my heart sinks, and I'm dreading it. Every time you talk, I am filled with rage and just want you to stop. I don't give a shit about one thing you have to say. You don't even deserve me to listen. Every time you hug me I am so angry I think I am going to explode. I can't help it. But my insides are screaming for you to get the fuck away from me. That I HATE you. When you tell me you love me, I tell you I love you too, but my head repeats "I hate you" over and over and over. You are the most pathetic piece of shit I have ever known. Fuck you, Dad. You fucked up and we can never go back.
(I wish I wasn't) your daughter.

Dear Alison.
I dont think you understand just how happy you make me.
Just how angry i get at myself for dreaming of other men.
I dont mean to.
Its those dreams i wish i could control.
But i cant.
I know i tell you i love you everyday.
20 billion times a day.
But it would mean more if i could prove it.

Dear ____,

I hate you.

I miss you.

Could you please stop mattering to me? I want to not care about you. To the extent that I could go one day without thinking about you. To the extent that I wouldn't feel like I had to write you this letter.

I haven't seen you in 61 days. I didn't have to pause long to remember that last time that I saw your face. I'm sure you remember it too. 61 days, and I still need to write you. 61 days and when I see something at a store that I know you'd love I still put it in my basket. Then I remember myself, I remember that there is a chasm of 61 days and a life that we don't have anymore between us - and I put it back on the shelf.

I opened that box again today. The one that holds all my precious memories - the one that still has every letter, note and picture you ever gave me in it. I cried because my old self didn't know any better. Didn't know that I should bother saving those things up as precious memories. She didn't know that it would only hurt me 61 days after we last saw each other - for the last time - that the receipt of the first time that we bought groceries together would make me cry.

I hate you so much. I hate you for all of this.

So why do I still wish you were here?

Right here?

With me?

... I used to love you, you know. I don't anymore - because we could never fix what happened between us. You took my family, my friends and my home from me - and you did it in a way that made me look the villain. And I don't even know why you did that. Why? After so many happy memories and promises of 'forever - just like this, you and me forever' did you decide it wasn't worth it anymore?

Why do I still care?

I'm not writing you to say that I'm mad, or come back, or to find out why I turned around and suddenly my life was broken. It's been 61 days and I still miss you, still love-hate you. Still wish you were dead, or that you'd call me and tell me it was a joke.

Don't worry. I won't ever forgive you.

Day 62 here I come.

Dear Daddy...

How is heaven? It's almost been a month now, since that river took you in its grasp and stole your life. You returned to God, whether willingly or not I'll never know. All I know is that the image of you going down and not coming back up for nearly ten minutes will forever haunt my mind. I try everything I can to erase it, but it lurks, popping up unexpectedly. Reminding me I lost my dad at the age of seventeen. The summer before my senior year. You'll never get to see me become an adult in life... see me in my prom dress while alive... you'll never see me graduate and walk. I only pray that instead of watching me from wherever you are, you'll be walking next to me proudly.

Writing this hurts, but I need some sort of vent. The tears are coming now, I just wonder if you're next to me hugging me. I miss the feel of your warm, huge hugs. Even when I was mad at you, they felt safe. You were the best dad, despite all the shit. We all make mistakes, but I forgive you. I had a while ago, I just never outright said it. I hope you knew. I hope you knew how much I loved you.

Every once in a while I'll have flashbacks to being a kid. A little daddy's girl who hated to leave your side. Walking beside you to the water pump outside, asking about your beer belly, causing you to laugh. Going into the shop and always seeing that Grateful Dead or KISS sheet hanging down. There seems to be a million reminders around me now, things I never even realized before. Hundreds of songs you introduced me to at the youngest age, the whole rock genre itself reminding me of my rocker dad. You gave me great tastes, that's for sure.

I think it's partially a good thing, that these flashbacks come. None of them are of the painful, hard things our family went through during life. I believe I dwelled on them so much while you were alive that they are of little importance now. As mom has said, the only good thing your death has brought is the comfort knowing you don't have to fight those demons from drug usage anymore. But just before you left us, it felt like you were getting better. That hug on the 4th of July meant the world to me. I just can't believe it's already so close to have been a month since all of this. The days drag on, and I am still in a daze. I try my best to support mom and Andrew, because I know it's my duty. But these little moments I get to myself to actually think about it, they hurt like hell.

I don't question that something has to happen to us when we die, we don't just fade away. I just hope you can see this. I hope you know all of these things... Please watch over me like you did in life, continue to help me grow as a person.

I love you so much dad. I miss you.

Love,
Ashley

Dear ____,

I'm finally happy. Despite all you did to hurt me, I'm in love, and happily married. I wish you were the same guy you used to be, but you're not. . . she changed you. After we broke up, I cried myself to sleep for months, years even. And then, just when I'm about to be over you, you tell me you love me again, you lead me on for months and then, just when I think you are going to be with me again, you break my heart by dating my best friend.

Well guess what? Your loss. I found a guy that makes me happier than you ever could. I married him. We are going to start a family. I'm living out my dream, too bad you missed out. He could've been you. I could've been starting my life with you, but you decided to hurt me, over and over and over again. So I moved on, to someone better than you could ever be. I love him with my whole heart, my whole being.

I do want to thank you, however. You showed me what love shouldn't be. It shouldn't be one sided. I shouldnt have to chase after the thing I want most. . . . Love isn't selfish, is greedy. Love doesn't hurt. Love is magical, it should be cherished. Not thrown away on a whim. Thank you. Without you, I would never have had the courage to love my husband with all that I have.

Dear ____,

you are the biggest coward I've ever met. I never told you how much I fundamentally disrespected you. How much I thought you a child in a man's body.

I'm glad that she fucked everything up between us.

Dear Charlie,

I've never really been one for soppy love poems, but I'll give it a shot.

Roses are awesome,
Violets are too.
You will never know,
How much I cherish you.

Yup, that just about covers it.

Love, Skye.

♥

Dear L

I wish i could find the words and confidence to tell you how amazing you are. How much i cherish being in your company, your quirky humour, and the kindness you show in the face of my almost constant bungling.
I've never really had anyone to look up to in life, in terms of my career, and then you come along. Already qualified and experienced in the very thing i wished and still wish to get involved in, and currently working in the field i'm going to get my degree in.
Your so knowledgeable, tolerant and kind, it astounds and humbles me.
Thank you for being you. I love you very much, and hope to know you for years to come. Maybe one day i'll be a proper work colleague along side you.
Love, peace and zoology <3

Dear Universe:

Please stop screwing with me. I would really appreciate it if you fixed my retina you apparently so royally screwed over and stopped giving me reasons to get so paranoid over skin cancer. ...Lightening up the acne would be much appreciated, too. Then maybe I wouldn't feel the need to stop caring if I got sunburned for the sake of drying out my acne. I mean, really. If you cleared up my acne, I'd be more able to take care of my skin since sunscreen only worsens it. And I'd really like to not go blind.


See ya! ~B

Dear reality,

I hate you.
Thanks for giving me the most fun I've ever had during my prom, and fuck you for taking my boyfriend's mother away two days later.
Why must you always shatter my happiness like that?

Love,
Windy

Dear dad,
You say how if everyone was just more considerate, like you, then the world would be so much easier to live in. You interrupt me while I'm talking, you talk loud when you want to be heard. You have a short temper and freak out at old ladies if they make one mistake while driving. I lost a dvd once and you called me brainless. I found it, but you never apologized. You seem to think the world was made for you, and we're all just little accessories in your life. Yes, you let me buy the things mom would say no about, but does a pack of gum really make the difference? If my homework I need help on isn't done the way you learned it, it's wrong. You talk about nasty republicans as if they're all evil, and saying about all these people who use stereotypes, while by best friend is republican, and you judge people without twitching. Will you help me next year, when I'll be in advanced classes with extra homework? Will you lose your temper? What if I don't have the time to study German? What if I get a B class? What will happen?
--Sequoia

Dear XX,

I can't make up my mind about you. You've been good, I'll give you that, but we've barely talked since school let out. I can't help but wonder if things will go right back to being horrid the second school starts and the pressure gets laid on, because I still see traces of the same person that made me hate school and the internet, even if they're not directed at me at the moment. You're a judgmental, pushy, spoiled brat, who doesn't seem to get that your worldview is not the same as the world view of everyone else. You can't make M place priority on schoolwork over band or writing, just like she can't make you put choir over schoolwork. Quite frankly, she's not your puppet.

And neither am I, so I hope that you've learned your lesson and will stop playing your little game where it's not that you have to be right, but that everyone else has to be wrong, because that's not going to fly this year. Yes, even if I'm pissed, I'll probably stick around, but not because I trust you, but for precisely the opposite reason: I don't trust you. And I know that, eventually, my other friends will wake up to what you're like, and I don't want them to go through the same chain of events where your personal punching bag feels alone for the first six months. Took me long enough to come to V and J, and M long enough to find me and V.

So you know what? I'm not going to let Em go through that, too. If she cracks this year, then I plan to be there for her, no matter what that entails, because that's what V tried to do for me. You're like a spider that takes her dear sweet time to show herself to her victims, but what you fail to see is that those that have escaped you aren't gone for good.

Hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst,
Han.

Dear ----.
I've known you for 8 years. I still value you very highly as a friend, but I've been married for five years. It's never going to be like it was, so just be glad I still talk to you, after all the breakups we had years ago. Have you noticed we always fight and I'm always the one who apologises so you'll talk to me again? Well I've realized that the man I married IS the man I want to be with, forever, not as a fill in for you. So I won't be apologising to you after you abused my trust in our friendship again. I'm sick of always being the chaser. I gave you enough chances to have my friendship and this time, you've lost your last chance.
S.

Dear _____,
You haven't moved much, and you obviously haven't had friends move at all. Since Mar moved, you think she's 'neglecting' you just because she cries over a new friend moving. You don't know what it's like. You can't stay friends with everyone you were friendly with from states away. I only have one friend left from CAL. What will you do if my mom get's the job offer? Will you freak out at me like you did with Mar? If she says she's a little more girly, I can understand that, while you gasp without realizing you yourself are indeed more girly as well. You can be jealous of her new friends, but don't feel depressed if she doesn't think about you 24/7. You seem to think the move should have destroyed her, and since it hasn't, you feel like she is forgetting us. Well, coming from someone who moved 3 (and maybe 4 soon) times, you never forget a best friend, you just don't obsess over them. Get used to it.
Your best friend,
Sequoia

Dear Dad,
You really haven't been very considerate about the relationship I am in I know you worry but it is my life it would be so nice if you could except our relationship I don't want to skip town and get married when I am eighteen but it seems like I have no other way. I wish you could just except it an at least try to get to know him a little bit before I have to do something totally irrational :(

"I Love you i do, that's why i can't stand to see u with someone else.
i wanted you all to my self, but you wanted more than just me. This is practically a goodbye. "

even though i just sent that,.

because all u ever been was MORE than a friend,
and to tell you the truth, even when we tried being friends
when we seen each other we couldn't help but feel this connection.
and I'm sorry i know it's only been 2 weeks since we broke up, and you already found some other chick telling her you will love her forever,. seems like your screaming for me to back away, so here i am blocking you out of my life hoping you will hear my scream for u to notice me once more.

Dear supposed man in the sky,

Quit fucking with my life! God, do you even care about me? My life has sucked for years on end and what do you do? Brush it off? Everyone says that if I pray you'll help me but you never do and I can't help but think you really must not give a shit. Ugh my annoying grandmothers here, which I also blame you for. So I must go..

From:
I don't know anymore.

Dear asshole.

I know you always tell me I can be a better christian, and maybe you are right. I could be better, we all could be better. I've been living with you FAR too long to know that hell. YOU could be a better christian. You are the biggest hypocrite in the world. smoking pot, swearing constantly, fighting her, fighting me, fighting everything. You hate the job you work at, and know it only causes stress in our household.

Sure, I might not be the best kid a parent could have, but you have to right to tell em that i can't do anything right. I hate that you think you can tell me what to do. Especially because I am old enough to make my own damn decisions. so stop telling me what to do! I hate you so much sometimes. You have no idea. I wish I could kill every dream you had. You certainly know how to kill every single one of mine.

I want my own life. I want to make my own decisions. I want to have you out of my life. I want you to stop hurting her. She is my mother and she is a person and you have NO RIGHT to tell her how to live her life, let alone treat her the horrible way that you do. No right at all. You are not better than her. A wife and husband should be equals. And with you, you make her not your equal, but the equivalent of your slave. i'd understand more if she wanted that, but she told me so many times that she doesn't. She was ready to divorce you years ago, but I wanted her to give you another chance. And what do you do? You make me regret that decision of mine.

Stop wasting everyone's time, and leave. We don't want you here.

-D

Dear Zodioniac,
I'm so sorry for the hurt I've caused you. I'm sitting here, crying now, unable to sleep. It's all because of you. I know we're still texting, and we're still talking, and everything is as good as it can be... But I know you're just putting on a brave face. I know that all you want in the world is to either have me back or have me disappear out of thought entirely.
The only thing is... I can't live without you. I don't want to live without you. I just can't be in a relationship with you, when I know in my heart that we have no future together as a couple.

I know you're hurting. I understand that. I know that just because my feeling for you aren't as strong anymore, doesn't mean that your feelings for me have gone. But just because I don't feel the same about you, doesn't mean I feel nothing. I still care about you so so much.

A huge part of me hopes you do see this.

xox

Dear Nicolis...

Did you really have to lie to me in that way? Swearing that you had no feelings for her, just to keep me happy? Why couldn't you tell me the truth? Was our relationship that weak?

Right before school ended, she and her friends, my oldest, best friends... They all spread such nasty rumors about me. They treated me like dirt, they even did while you were there. You never stuck up for me once, but I put up with it because I was, and still am, in love with you.

She promised me that you were strictly her friend. Again with the lies.

She tried to break us up by saying that I would cheat on you with your best friend, which was an obvious lie. Yet you still believed it to the point that you were crying in class. Well you know what? I was crying too. For hours. I was pulled out of class because of it. I would never hurt you that way.

She said she was going to apologize to me, but then changed her mind. And when I apologized to HER, (for God knows what, because I certainly don't) I didn't even get any recognition. How can you have feelings for her?

You started calling her "Kat". No one calls her that. No one ever goes to her house. Only you. And you still lie to me. At this point, I don't believe it, but I'm so desperate to hold on to you that I try to.

We hang out on the 4th of July, watching the fireworks, and enjoying ourselves. I was hoping for you to break up with me then, face to face, but you weren't man enough. And I wasn't man enough to break up with you.

Three days before my birthday, I get a text from you. Not even a phone call. Next thing I know, we're broken up, no one is talking to me, and you're dating her. After everything, I thought SOMEONE would have some dignity or integrity. But no.

No one is on my side; no one thinks that you two handled this the wrong way. Why? Am I wrong?

We can't be friends, but I'll try to play nice... I still love you so much, it's sad. I still cry... And now I have to see you with that icicle every day, and I have to sit next to you in my classes. I don't know how to deal with this pain because I'm so inexperienced. Thanks for screwing up my life, you stupid liar...

From Sarah