Dear _____,
I don't understand you. You can be so nice, yet you're such a bitch. All you ever do is complain too; it doesn't matter if it has anything to do with you or not.
"Well, you were the one that started it." What the fuck?! The only reason she got so upset was because he called, accusing her of all sorts of BS. Do you not have any sense whatsoever in that big head of yours? It's no wonder people avoid you. You're nosy, never know when to shut up, pretend to know better than everyone else, and stomp all over everyone's hopes and dreams. Get your head out of your ass already! Can't you see that she's always trying to make you happy? Apparently not because all you ever do is make her feel like shit. Or is that how you love?
I swear, if you don't change soon, I will cut you out of my life forever. I don't care that you're family.
Loving you less by the minute,
_____
I have no time for you anymore. That apology you sent Joe yesterday was a joke. Why apologise, and then try to defend spitting racist crap around like it's funny? Like we're not meant to get upset? I have mixed racial heritage, and Joe is quite obviously Maori. We're not exactly Tino Rangatiratanga material, but we are proud of who we are. Your comment about gangster culture, turning people into "poor black people" is just way out of line. It makes you come off like white people are the superior race or something? That if you're white, you can't be poor, you're only poor if you're black. You're only black if you're a trouble maker. OMG. I know very successful black people, I know very beautiful, loving black people. You just can't tar people with the same brush like that.
You can't do it to Joe and I either, we've both been called black as racial slurs before. Coming from strangers, we can shrug it off, but coming from a supposed family member just makes me disgusted. Your email proves that you're no adult. I tried talking to you about it, and all you kept doing was throwing up walls and defending your actions. You should have just said sorry, and left it at that. But with you it's always along the lines of "Sorry... but!!!!" and then you try to play the high ground, and say we need to sort it out with you. Joe's last words to you said that you could talk to him at any time. You did not come forward. Instead you messaged him, after he sent dad a massive email explaining why we're both absolutely let down. So no, that doesn't make you an adult at all. An adult would know better than to throw racist comments around like they're a joke.
What you said wasn't a joke, and trying to claim that it was is just low. Many of my friends, and family saw your comments, and all of them were disgusted by it. I went to dad, because he is my father, and an ear to listen. This issue is important to Joe and I. Especially Joe, who suffered racist abuse while growing up in Australia. I didn't go to him to hide behind, I went to him, as a last vestige of sanity. We've made up finally, but this will always impact things between you and I. You're dead to me. You did it once, and clearly I didn't like it. You did it again, and Joe and I blew. I'm not going to give you a million chances to sort out your shitty opinions. That's it. I told dad, if I see you again one of us is not walking out of that room. Because I'm going to knock you into next week. You want to know what black is? You're going to find out.
Thankfully I got out of that relationship while I could
An ex sister in law
P.S - Your partner must be really stupid, to be marrying a complete jerk like you.
I'm sorry i'm such a failure as a guild leader.
I just can't do it, i couldn't with Legendary and now i can't with Regicide.
I'm so so so sorry!
I'm just a big failure to all of you just like before.
I know Angel will be 100 times better then i ever was as a guild leader.
The way i'm feeling right now.. and i have for awhile... this feeling that i just don't belong.
That nobody needs me and that i'm never gonna be able to help any of you... it's finally taken it's tole on me....
And i'm soo sorry.
you are really starting to annoy me. anytime you message me on facebook i swear you use it to rub it in my face that you are doing some amazing while i cant. you dont even invite me to hang out to do anything anymore. youve changed and its quite frustrating
Dear job.
You are not what i expected you to be. I am back to being depressed. But not as depressed as being a credit controller. Don't know what to do... I hope that my idea will work out. But that's a few months off yet.
Theres just too much stuff to do and not enough time. I'm dying under the workload.
Help :(
Dear Universe,
Please let things work out this time. Please just let this one thing work out in my favor. It's something I've wanted for years and I don't want nature to mess it up again.
Rei
We've talked about this! WHAT IS YOUR OBSESSION WITH RAMMING YOURSELVES INTO VERY HARD OBJECTS???
Don't say you didn't see any of it because you and I BOTH KNOW that the bed post is just under the foot of the bed and that it HURTS. LIKE. HELL!
Seriously! I'm about to chop you all off!
I hate you this week lol. So I took time off, and went to the DR. Told you I was going to work up the hours to make it up. When I left you were busy with a client, I said goodbye, but you didn't hear it - and I told the other office lady I was heading out. When I came back, I went straight back to work, because I couldn't find where you were. Next thing, you're coming up to me saying you'll take half a day, if you don't see me. Ummm excuse me? I didn't take half a day off to go the DR. Even if I didn't return, that's not half a days leave you moron! I left at 2pm, and I finish a work day at 4. You tell me, how knocking off at 2pm equates to half a day? Gorram lady! I failed maths, and even I know leaving at 2pm, and not returning is way less than half a day. You're essentially ripping me off, of my own leave! How disgusting, you shrewd pig!
I approached you in the past when you had issues with people on their cellphones, to tell you my fertility DR and nurse text me. So that's why I needed to check my phone every so often. I have to be on call constantly in case my blood work was due, and all you could do when I informed you of this was go off about busting four people in a week on their phones!!! So farken what!? You want to vent, then you vent somewhere else - instead of at me. At least I had the guts to tell you what was going on, and the reason why you may have seen me with my phone out. I was always incredibly discrete, and it took no more than five seconds to turn around, whip out my phone, and put it back away again. How many times did L call up the radio stations, entering contests? Yet she went without getting a rev up, like you gave me.
Then when P took 6 months on carving up that stupid lamp base. It sat around for another 6 months, and by the time I got it, I worked on it for 4 weeks. Painting, and recarving areas that P stuffed up isn't easy! Then when I'm one foot out the door going home, you bitch at me about taking too long! Do you want a good job on it or not? You stupid tart. You should start looking at the bigger picture! The fact that you yelled at me, and the other workers heard it sucks - but then when they said it was unfair, that's when I realised it certainly was! You didn't pull P up for taking so long, or E, for managing it - and getting the piece to me quicker. You attacked me instead!
This morning you knew I had an appointment with my midwife, and you accosted me about it! I saw that stupid look on your face when you realised I had already told you about it. I even saw you write it down for fark sake! What's wrong with you? So what if you have a lot of work on your plate, so have I, and everyone else. I ensure I make everyone aware if I'm going to be late, and I have always made up the extra time, I mean SHIT - I've even been ripped off of my own time! Went two days without any lunch breaks, to finish that stupid glass piece, and no-one gave a shit! So you shouldn't be getting all up in my face about it, when really I'm the one getting ripped off. I went to L, and planned to just have a quick catch up about how her art show went. She ended up blabbering on about off topic crap, and you come out and blast me specifically! Pointing at me, and then giving me the gesture to get up stairs, like I'm some kind of animal! L was going off about shit, so if anything, you should have told her to shut up - and told me to move on. But no, it's just me that gets the shove. Coz everything is my fault.
I hate how you treat me, and I know it's just because I'm younger than you. The fact is, I work as hard as L, and I don't do as much shit behind your backs as L does - such as being on her phone constantly, and gas bagging most of the day, but I seem to bear the brunt of the storm. It sucks because I know her father is a well known radio celebrity in this stupid country. That means he can give the boss cheap air time etc. She has leverage over you, and the boss - and that's probably why she never gets a speaking to. I HATE IT. I hate it so bad! and I can't wait for baby to be close to arrival, so I can get the hell away from you. I could never treat a fellow worker like that. It's disgusting, and rude behaviour. This power tripping shit needs to end. You're an office lady, and I'm an artist out in the studio. We come from different walks, so I wish you'd stick your nose back where it belongs.
By the way, I caught you three times texting on your phone this week, and have heard it going off quite often. Both texts, and phone calls. Not to mention I've seen you countless times out the back chatting away with B, like time doesn't matter. So for everything you're pulling me up for, you do it too. Hypocritical betch. I hope it blows up in your face!
Dear boss,
I feel sick constantly, no longer sleep, and am bleeding all the time. I said I was sick of being pregnant already, and you called me a drama queen. Have you been pregnant before you tosser? You're a male, so of course you don't understand. I didn't even bother giving you a reply. I doubt you even cared, but it pissed me off when you said that. Granted I've wanted this baby for a long time, the fact is, it doesn't mean I can't say how it makes me feel. I don't take this baby for granted, and if I lost it, you bet your ass I'd probably die of a broken heart. You want drama queen? Why don't you look at yourself. Always bitching about other workers behind their backs, the fact is, each and everyone of them works hard. I notice you don't bitch about L though, because you're too busy thinking about how much it puts you in her father's good books to be in with her. You're a douche, and you can kiss my sick pregnant ass lol.
Dear Mason,
I really wish you would tell me what this big decision you're trying to make is o3o
It's really starting to piss me off that you wont tell me >(
I'm suppose to be yo buddeh!!
Now tell me what's up D:
the problem is not really a problem i just cant bring myself to tell a girl i like her because of the fear if she doesnt feel the same way that things will become awkward between us and that i could possibly lose a friend thats all
Please improve. I'm going to come in, and get on with my work, stay upstairs hidden away on break time, and do what must be done. So I can come home, and enjoy sitting on the couch with my husband tonight. Yesterday was downhill, so I'd like to get back up today :) Thank you!
Dear God.
I dunno what's happening. I thought things were looking up. Rob finally got a job, we finally started making positive plans for the future. And then Bam! One day at this job and his anxiety kicks in, and he doesn't sleep ALL last night and can't go to work today. I am so damn mad, and so damn disappointed. What do i do? Kick him to the curb, kick him well he's down?? I don't know - but looking at him just makes me wanna punch him in the face. But i don't want to be one of those girls, that leaves when the going gets tough. But where does it end with him??
I am so upset - and so not wanting to go to work today. And i am so full of anger and rage i could drive my car into a pole!
Is this your way of saying it's time to let go?? If only money wasn't an issue!
I keep getting told to wish you happy birthday, be be civil, to be the better person who takes the initiative to work things out between us but the truth is, I could care less. I really have not intention of working things out, you pushed me too far, way, way too far. You lied to me, insulted me, took advantage of me and continue to talk about me behind my back. You should be happy I didn't break your faces after the things you did and said, Goddess knows I wanted to. What I really want to know is how you could ever think that I would just forgive and forget after what felt like a decade of verbal and emotional abuse. Yes, abuse, because all in all, that's what it is. You abused both of us and I will not forgive or forget it. I'm taking the high road and going on with my life, warnings, threats and counsel be damned.
Good bye and good riddance,
--Ti
Dear Friends,
I know you still like them, and I know you hate being caught in the middle of it all but I will not give into it again. If only you knew everything that they did to her and to me. But, I won't tell you... I can't force you to choose one or the other, so I won't continue the war that has started up. I'm letting it go and doing things my own way, as it's clear to me they won't. I love you and I hope you understand.
Where do I begin? I'm sometimes a lousy friend. I will sometimes put myself ahead of others. I don't do it often but sometimes when I'm tired physically and emotionally I'll kinda close off from my friends even if they need me. I know that sometimes that's normal but I've always wanted people to think of me as that one person who no matter what is there for you, and to and extent I sometimes am. But I can't honestly say it's always. I just want it to be something I'm good at but if I don't do it I shouldn't mope about it. I dunno. I just feel lousy about that.
Which brings me to something along the same lines. There is always something unraveling right before my eyes whether it's my life or not, and it's emotionally draining. I care very deeply for my friends so when they hurt I hurt, too. I'm not saying I fall to the ground in sorrow in the middle of a rainstorm as I weep for them, but I hurt enough to the point that they know I care and to the point where I'm still strong for them. I hate admitting that I am, though, because half the time my friends then try to spare me from it which I think hurts a little more. So, I end up having no where truly safe to vent. Hell even here may not be safe but too late.
I want to care and I do but can't we have a mellow time? Where everything isn't a crisis? I'm not saying that these problems aren't real, but really a lot of the time they are, but when all the major stuff is over with there is always someone just feeling sorry for themselves for no damn reason! I can't blow them off 'cause that goes back to the lousy friend thing but I don't want to deal with it. When I feel sorry for myself half the time I just have to get over it because someone else is feeling sorry for themselves for the stupidest reasons! And it's never a simple fix like, "You are worth much more than you know," and, "People love and care about you," or, "You'll find someone," or whatever the hell! The response is always, "Yeah... but still," NO! No but still! Do NOT but still me! Everything word I said was exactly what you needed to hear! So, don't brush them off!
I hate being an old soul. I've always been different from my peers. Just in a way that I've realized things that people have normally taken years to realize and they had to learn it the hard way. And I realized really weird "sophisticated" things like when I was at least six I realized humanity could just not exist and earth would being here and the planets and everything would be here but we just wouldn't be, and for some reason as a child that terrified me. I realized that at any moment someone could be taken away from you and that terrified me even more. I was aware of my mortality so early, and as a result I wasn't as carefree as other children. I was always worrying about something. I'm more carefree now because I've realized freaking out about things of that magnitude isn't gonna keep any of it from happening, and that's because I learned that seemingly way before any of my peers could. Maybe that one was a good thing but it frustrates me more when no one else can practice it. Not even adults! Okay, I may legally be an adult being 18 and all but I do not consider myself to be all high and mighty adult like and what not. I hate that other people consider themselves to be like that when they are eons behind me.
Where I'm at right now is scaring me. I'm having a battle within my head and I'm seeing something that isn't going to end well no matter where it goes and I almost feel like I'm about to cry. I really don't want it to happen. I could've prevented it. IF ONLY! If only... but I let it happen. I wish I couldn't read people as well as I do because I knew this was going to happen. People are almost like and open frickin book with giant bold print! But here we go. I'll just be back here while this unfurls. And even if it is a good outcome the timer on that bomb will start right there and there, of course, it's only a matter of time. Cheers to life taking a dramatic turn just when you get comfy. I'm just gonna get ready to pick up the pieces.
And then my life! My matter. I don't want to like him, but I do. End of story. I won't do anything about it. He sure as hell won't do anything about it. So here I am and with an unrequited love that's hurting me and probably not touching him but that's not new. I think I've been in this situation before and I'll be in another when this one is gone. I prefer being single right now but I want him to want me instead of grasping for women who are.... not who he should be with. That's so bad....
... A friend of mine who was kinda feeling sad just texted me and said I made him feel so much better. It's made me a little teary. I guess in the end it's worth it. That my kindness is noticed and appreciated. I don't mind if I don't get a thank-you I just want to know I made a difference to someone.
Yeah... that's it. I just want to make a difference. As long as I know I did that I'm okay. It drives me nuts when I'm jumping through hoops while treading water. I don't care if I get a thank-you in fact I don't want one. I just want to know I've helped and that someone is better off because of it. It's hard to see sometimes but maybe I should just start hoping that what I've done is enough to help.
Dear Best Friends,
I honestly can't take anymore of your friendliness. Sometimes, you are so annoying that it makes me want to rip out my hair and throw it at you while yelling at you for everything you are doing. These things you are arguing over are so stupid that they make me cry at night to think that we all can't be friends anymore. I honestly think that we should just talk it all out, but I guess you don't think you should give in. You should never have to give in. Why should you have to admit that you might have been wrong?
So I have to ask. How does it feel to rip my life apart. You already know about my situation. You know about my family and my life and my feelings, so you know that my friends are all I have. And you ripped that apart. You took a few words, and escalated them into the Decleration of Independence. Nothing even matters to you anymore except yourselfves, and in the process of insuring that you keep up your perfect little image all the time, you have destroyed mine.
I could honestly say I forgive you, but I don't. I hate you.
You are like a sister to me and I love you dearly but your mother is going to be the end of us. I am sick and tired of her thinking that I am a bad influence. To be honest she is the first EVER parent I have cussed at. That was the last straw and I felt bad for it. I even freaking apologized! She said it was alright and made some lecture about feelings and how we should let it out.
Remember back in January when our moms got in a fight and we couldn't see eachother.... I won't tell me mom what your mom said. I won't tell her that she was displeased with the last time I came over. I can't help it that I am not perfect and that I am a bit weird but frankly... she doesn't know any of us. Citerra is worse than me and your mother thinks she is an angel. YOUR mother thinks she is perfect. You know I am nice. I didn't say ANYTHING when that ghetto girl was saying shit about me. You are the one who said something to her Alana.... so how is it my fault that she is displeased. How is it my fault that she said you were acting like a bitch by sticking up for me? IT ISN'T MY DAMNED FAULT!
I think it is best if we do not talk for a couple days... I already sent you that text... I wonder how you responded to it since you probably have seen it by now.... scratch that... so you just texted me saying I am allowed to come over but we are not allowed out of the house? Since when did she become MY mother. How is that supposed to work? We usually go out to eat? .... Seriously... it is getting harder and harder.....
Dear World.... Dear God,
Why are you making my life horrible again God... I just don't see why you keep making these things happen to me. What in my life are you displeased with? I just want it all to stop!......
Dear Mother,
You don't really know me. Frankly if you did you would hate me. You already think I am bullshit.... so... what else is there to it? You think my pansexuality is a phase. You think I have never dated a girl. The fact is that I like girls more than guys. I like Trans more than guys.... so..... What does that tell you. I am forced to walk on eggshells around you and the rest of the family. I can't be myself..... and it sucks.....
It's not awesome when you delete the message I wrote, and replace it with a post about your awesome dancing >:o The original message read your dancing makes me motion sick. LMAO! But I still love your crazy face though :P
Please stop letting me only remember the weird ones or the ones that make me want to cry. This last one really did bother me and I told Wesley about it... I'm not sure why I always seem to remember the ones where he's talking to someone else. Or seeing someone else. Am I really that insecure? I know he loves me and only me. So why do I dream that he realizes he could do better? This last one got to me and I do think it could be due to how often he has taken up playing that game. I'm fine with it and I don't mind much that he talks to a bunch of other guys. But in my dream, he was on the phone with some girl that he played the game with. And he called her honey... And then couldn't understand how I could get mad and storm off. :( That's when I woke up. I told him about it and I think it does bother him that I have these sort of dreams. You dreams suck. Like bad.
Signed,
Me
Dear Nivvy's Hubby,
I don't think motion sickness is common with awesome dancing. :lol:
Dear Google Maps,
You gave us horrible driving directions today. You caused us twice to turn onto a dead end road, in a part of the city that we had little to no knowledge of.
I also hold you responsible for the little fight that boyfriend and I had in the car, because if you had given us accurate directions, that wouldn't have happened.
Get better effing directions, Google Maps!
Sincerely,
Christa
Dear idiot in the gold car: We DO NOT cut off semis, you moron. Do you have a deathwish?
Dear little blue hybrid driver: Learn how to drive better, you almost cause an accident with us.
Dear super douchebag who was in the black SUV: I have no clue what you were doing there, slicing across like four lanes so recklessly, but you almost caused accidents in three lanes. Learn to care about other people, asshole! No matter where you need to go, its SO less important than avoiding a potentially deadly car pileup that you came close to starting. :stare: Learn to drive, you ass hat.
Dear Me,
You're doing a little better. Baby steps, baby steps. :yes: But you have to try harder, okay? Try harder with everything. It was completely awkward when you spontaneously started a conversation about ice cream with a random lady next to you in the aisle. It was a total fail! BUT you were able to talk to another human being, no matter how awkward the conversation was, so I think that's a bit of progress for us. And I'm proud of you. Just keep it up okay? :hug:
Love, Me
So, i've been thinking a lot lately and I really want to change myself. I'm mean, harsh and i can be just a down right bitch sometimes, even when i don't mean to be. Honestly i don't even notice i'm doing it a lot of the time.
I also can't stand my looks :(
I just want to change everything about me!
Both inside and out i need a make over.
I need to learn to be nice to people, more patient, understanding, non-judgmental, less harsh with what i say and how i say it.
But i also need to become stronger,both physically and mentally.
I need to get my sorry ass in some classes.... and i need to start working out.
Hanging out with friends more, ever since high school ended i haven't wanted to be around many people.
I really think it's just some sort of funk i'm in and i need to break out of it sooo badly!
Like before i go totally insane!!
I also really need to try and get back into the dating scene >->
after that last break-up i really haven't had any interest in.. well.. ANYONE!
maybe i would feel better about myself if i did this crap.. but knowing me.. it's not gonna happen cause i'm a failure -.-
But ya know what i'm just gonna try my best i guess :I
It's all i can really do.
-heavy sigh-
Okay, it's official.... HAVE AT ME LIFE!
Dear Mother,
I do not understand why you have always treated me the way you do, emotionally scarring me. I do not understand why you always cry so much when I get angry and leave. I do not understand how you can even love someone who is a screw up like me. Tomorrow is mothers day and I really do not want to do anything for you, do anything at all. Aunt is making me. I really wish you would comprehend what the heck is going on in my life you hypocritical jerk! Why do you lie all the time and try to make yourself sound like an amazing mother when really you aren't, you are far from it. You don't even want to be my mother. I just wish that you would understand how crappy you treat me. You ignore me, then when I try to talk and you actually listen then you blow up on me! I do not understand, I do not understand at all. LEAVE ME ALONE! GO DO YOUR OWN THING! DO NOT WORRY ABOUT ME! I AM EIGHTEEN AND YOU CAN EAT A COOKIE AND CHOKE ON IT! YOU ARE RUINING MY HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION! YOU RUINED MY SENIOR YEAR! YOU RUINED MY LIFE!
Dear friend's mother,
The girl say you love as if she's your own daughter drinks, does drugs and is adverse to the idea of monogamy. And yet I'm the bad influence ... because I don't have the same religion as you? Your logic confuses me.
Dear best friend,
I love you to death and all, but say the word(s) "realism", "technique" or "my teacher said" one more time and the death part will be coming sooner than you expected. I know!!!
Dear mom,
I cannot take care of your kids, especially when I can barely take care of myself. I don't need your constant reminders that I'm a burden - I know that much. And I'm trying with all my might to stay out of the hospital again so I don't add that. I'll be moving out soon ... hopefully. But, in order for all this too happen, I can't take care of my brothers - but I don't know who else will. Do you even notice them when you're home? I understand you're working and going to school, but spending and entire day with your boyfriend and even talking about sleepovers isn't necessary. I'm no parent - I'm barely an adult - but I do know your children come first, if not me, at least put the boys first.
Dear Dad,
I know you were raised to believe that who I am is an abomination, but, if nothing else, acknowledge it. I'm gay, not bi, not confused, not curious - and you talking about when I get another boyfriend doesn't help the self esteem issue.
Dear little brothers,
I know you may find it weird that I'm teaching you all these things, especially when you're only 6 and 4. But I'm not going to be with you all the time anymore ... yes, I know mom can make you mac and cheese and call me or dad or the police, but I need you to know these things. Sister worries about mother a lot, and she worries about you even more. I really wish Dad or I could stay, but we can't. Dad wishes he could take you with him, he really does and I'm sure he's told you this. And you're going to see him a lot. I love you guys more than anything.
