Dear Obama,

Please lose... I want a job... and you're not helping.

Sincerely,
Person with no job.

*sends Nivvy hugs*

Thank you Wandering Poet ;-;

*sends luck for the job hunting*

Dear Universe,

Please send me a sign on which path to take!!!

Dear God,
Please take care of Molly. She deserves lots of love and attention. I miss her so much, its hard to believe I'll never see her again. At least I can think of her as up with you.

Lots of Love
Elle

Dear Menewsha.
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH! OMG! I accidently pushed back (coz im on my stupid laptop and the cursor is forever getting in the way) and lost the best words i've ever composed!! Whatever happened to that feature that use to save what you typed when that happened?? ARGH! Now i feel like that heavy burden is once again on my shoulders. Stink :(

---------- Post added 09-05-2012 at 10:20 PM ----------

Dear Spiritual World.
Thank you for the good things in my life. I definitely count my blessings every day. Though small, they are more then what some have. It may be stupid to say thanks for the bad things. But for some reason i can sit back and say that, without those lessons, i wouldn't be who i am today. I know what it's like to be at rock bottom, and to come up still fighting.

I have faith that there are better things waiting for me. Thanks for the visit micheal. I saw the tree, and i've taken reflection. You are truly beautiful inside and out. I take comfort in knowing that you are there for me. I feel that i'm close to that forever kind of love. But i'm working hard on myself first, making sure that when the time is right - this isn't a rushed decision, and i know deep down this is it. I have to have more pride, more confidence, and more respect for myself next time round. The only way i can do that is to be happy with me first. But i feel less lonely knowing that you're all there, pushing me forward, i put my trust and faith in you entirely.

Love,
Rochelle.

---------- Post added 09-05-2012 at 11:01 PM ----------

Dear Rob,
Happy 32nd Birthday. It's unfortunate i couldn't be with you to celebrate it. I realized yesterday that it would have been our 2nd year anniversary too. I sat there and wondered if it was a waste of two years. I could say that... But i guess it wasn't. You weren't the worst boyfriend i've ever had. But then again i haven't ever really had a fantastic relationship, so your not much to go on lol. There were plenty of good times too, and i can be thankful you weren't a drunk or a guy that went out and cheated on me or actually went out much at all lol.

You had so many fantastic qualities that i loved about you. When i first met you i was awed at your love for poetry, for writing, for music, for art - for so many things that men just didn't appreciate. It's a shame that you are so traumatized by your past that you can't find a way forward. And in the beginning i really did see a future with you, marriage, children, moving on with our own lives, away from our mothers - hanging onto their apron strings. You were motivated, eager to learn, eager to be independent. That was the Rob, i wanted to be with. I don't know what happened, but you lost faith in yourself, you lost all motivation. You lost all logic really. I tried for a long time to understand what you were going through, but i just couldn't break through. Eventually, doing everything on my own got tiring, depressing, hopeless. We just weren't doing anything as a couple to keep our relationship functional, loving, devoted. If i stayed, things would still be the same... and it's amazing to see how both of us are so much better, and have accomplished so much more apart - then we ever did together.

I asked my spiritual guides last night to give me a sign, what do i do next. I dreamed of you, hugging you and feeling wonderful in that embrace. And today i thought - do they want me to get back with him? But i realized that, i don't love you. I just don't love you like that, and i can't make myself love you. So no, my decision was easy. I made the right choice walking away. I don't see a future with you, i may have made a mistake not trying again. But i feel it's the best decision i made for myself at the time - and even now. Im confident, to say that it was for the best. It may have worked under better circumstances, but it was just the wrong timing.

Thank you, for saying that you did love me, and that you still care for me & aren't over me. And that you miss me. Thank you for all the great times we had, all the time we had together actually. Not all of it was good, but im guessing i learnt a lot from it.
Thanks for not being a cheat, and an alcoholic and one of those guys who goes out all the time and doesn't give to flips about his gf sitting at home. Thanks for being understanding of a lot of things.

I am truly sorry that it didn't work, that we couldn't make it work. But hey despite the bad things i've said, despite the reasons why we broke up. I love you one last time. Because i did love you and care for you, it may not have been that forever/soul mate kind of love. But i did love you, and dream of having a future with you once. You will know-doubt find someone wonderful who is more like you, and who you'll settle down with. You deserve it. But i hope that - you give yourself the time you need to heal, to address your issues, to get some proper help. And you use this time for your own personal growth, to also break away from your mum and your crazy family that are really bad for you. I hope that one day, you have another child. Let Dorothy go, she will come to you when the time is right. She will resent her mother for taking her away from you, and not giving you the opportunity to be with her more frequently. Her mother will live with the karma that's coming her way for being so selfish like that. I honestly wish you more then i wish myself, love, light & happiness. I have to let you go, i have to forgive you for all the pain, all the tears. Because if i don't i will never be able to move forward. I'll miss you...

Happy Birthday mumpty.
And Goodbye.
xoxoxo

i don't know how to start this, so i'm just going to jump right in
i don't feel like we communicate well anymore. i'm always afraid to speak my mind with you. and when i try, you get angry at me or interrupt me. and i know i'm not perfect and sometimes i interrupt you too, but i never feel like i actually get to say what i want to say anymore.
i feel like whenever i try to address things with you, you tune me out or don't want to listen. or you yell.
i am afraid of you. i love you, but i am afraid of you
and i shouldn't be afraid of you.
i am also afraid for our future. i don't feel like you want us to move forward ever in our relationship, and while that has never been explicitly said. i really do mean it when i say i want to get engaged sooner than later. i'm scared of my HS. i'm scared of this disease that is going to rot me from the outside in. i'm not intelligent or charismatic like you are. all i have going for me are my looks, and this disease has already started to take them from me. i have acne all over (on top of the cysts!). and i'm always in pain or swollen or i smell like an infection.
my best chance to ever get married is to do it soon. my best chance at having kids is soon.
if i wait to long i will become undesirable and i will end up alone. most suffers of this disease have either been with their partners for forever, and their partners love them enough to help take care of them.
but i don't think i could ever expect that from you, and i'm afraid to ask that of you because i don't think you could provide that for me
i don't want to be helpless and taken care of, and right now i don't need to be...not completely. but i am quite crippled emotionally due to years of abuse and its hard for me to get up in the morning.
its hard for me to go anywhere. i'm afraid of leaving our apartment. there are so many things out there that scare me. and so little that i can do about it. and i try. i try so hard. but i constantly find myself out of breath screaming inside my skull wanting to hide.
i need to move on with my life. and i don't think you're a part of my future anymore. i don't know if we can save 'us' and i don't know if i care anymore
i certainly think you don't
no matter how much you say you love me i feel like you're just full of shit
you don't seem to mean it, because if you meant it you'd understand why i need you to quit smoking so badly.
i don't want to die but the cigarettes are making my skin worse and worse. i'm scared i'm going to die sooner because of them, before i can get married and have a house, and kids, and all of the other stupid little things i want to do.


sometime soon i'm going to have to find the words to tell you this. but i'm too afraid now. the best i can do is push myself away, and hope that you get the message because these words are stuck in my throat and if i speak them i'm afraid i'll just throw up.

Dear Universe,

I seriously don't know what to do now. I was at a cross roads before, but now I really feel like there are a million directions to go, and I can't seem to place my foot forward and move somewhere. So much crap is happening, it's overwhelming. So here I am, typing away about my issues in a random corner of the internet, utterly lost. It's taken a long time to hit this point, but finally I've broken down and given in to the tears that have threatened to burst out since that huge argument my husband and I had in Raro. That really dampened my feelings towards him, and it took at least a week for me to feel comfortable with him again. Not only because he resorted to drinking, but that he threw the world's most childish tantrum. Hiding away under a bed, kicking the wall... I mean seriously? Of course he just wanted my attention, but he's not a fricken three year old. I wish he'd approach me, and talk to me. Not try and draw me in to comfort him. Now here we are, after yet another huge fight, and I'm getting sent home from work - because my boss is telling me "get your shit sorted out!"

If I really look deep inside, it's that I'm so confused about everything. Stuck living in a place I hate. Stuck at a job, where people seem to be getting let go every other week. On the verge of being 7 months pregnant, with my first child. Uncertainty over whether my mother is beating her cancer or not, and stuck with a father who is too busy with a wife that constantly needs support, to even have the energy to bother about what's going on with me. I just feel like I need to be taken care of at the moment, and try as my husband might, it comes at such a huge cost. That I have to be thankful for something every five minutes. That I need to get up and be some kind of happy ray of sunlight. He just doesn't seem to understand that being pregnant, does weird things to my hormones. That everything I do, hardly makes sense. That trying to support him during his sickness over the last few weeks, has taken a huge toll on me. Least of all, the fear that my unborn son is suffering the most, because of how stressed I feel. Trying to keep my head up, for him and me has been tough, let alone having to hold my husband's hand and reassure him, that he's a fantastic person all the time.

I wonder if my husband even remembers the crazy words, coming from his mouth in Raro? Like how he wanted to kill himself, and that I should go and be with somebody rich. Wtf was that about? All of those nutty words spawned from the fact, that I told him I felt hurt at him not seeming to be attracted to me anymore, since I've been changing during the pregnancy. I just can't put the pieces together in my head anymore. I don't even know where our problems start anymore? All I know, is that I want to go home to my mother - even if she's unwell, and just be around somebody who has been pregnant before. Who understands that the things I might do or say, probably won't make sense. But I won't be punished for them, and called horrible names like 'control freak', or get shouted at, and ordered around. When I looked into my husband's face last night, I felt fear. I saw a level of anger, and possible loss of control that I just didn't want to confront for fear of being hurt. The way his eyes opened up, so large and how loud his voice was getting - even though our landlord's were right above us. He knows my history with physical, and verbal abuse. Yet he still expects me to run to his aid, and calm his anger after terrifying me like that. How can he even question WHY I want to go home to my mother.

He asked me this morning to be here, when he gets home. I guess that shows that I still do care for him, that I'm sitting here. Every ounce of my being wanting to be far away, but still just sitting here. Waiting for God knows what... He even told me, he isn't going to bother cooking dinner anymore. So on top of dealing with all of this shit, I've got to still work full time, be in my last trimester, and cook dinner. I wouldn't mind so much, if it wasn't for the fact that I am dealing with all of the above, while this pregnancy is sapping every last morsel of strength that I have. I have no choice though, as I've got to keep this baby fed and healthy. I just wish my husband would think about this baby. Just because he isn't born yet, doesn't mean he doesn't already have an impact.

I'm losing my miiiiind!

Dear self,

Now you've really done it lol. Unleashing emotional stuff for all of FB to see. I bet there's going to be hell to pay from husband over this tonight when he gets home...

Dear Nivvy,

If it was possible, I'd go to your house and scold that man for his behavior. It really irks me to see any soon-to-be father not want to do his part. Pregnancies are supposed to be considered a blessing. And the way he is acting is totally showing that he needs to grow up and realize how lucky he is to be a part of this. :( Any time you want to talk, from one mom to another about how being pregnant can really cause silly mood swings and all, I'm here for you. *hugs*

Love,
Liz

Dear Nivvy's Hubby,

You really need to wake up and realize how badly you are screwing up. Be a man.

Liz


Dear ___,

Please show up soon. We really could use that extra bit of money.

Liz

Dear Dad,
This has been a long time coming. For as long as i can remember, i didn't think you not being in my life was an issue. I pretty much pushed it to the side, like it didn't phase me. But after the recent breakup of my relationship and having this time to myself. I've been able to really think about why my relationships fail, why i sabotage my happiness every time.

You left me with a huge hole in my heart. And you know when i think back, i see myself as a little baby still in my mothers tummy. And it's like i can feel the pain she felt when you left her, pregnant - and alone. And just for that act alone, i feel this anger build up inside of me, and i feel the pain and emotion she felt. She will never admit she felt that way for you though. But there's a reason i am the only child that she's had from birth out of the 7 she gave birth too!

I think about my brothers and sisters (your kids) who have had this great life, everything they could pretty much want, they had a mother and a father. They never had to suffer through any of the abuse i went through, the neglect. They will never have to make the mistakes i made. Because you were there for them, and you always will be. And i would be lying if i didn't feel a little bit jealous of that fact. But it's not me who should go out of my way to get to know you, and spend time with you. You abandoned me. I was the child, i never asked to be born. It was your responsibility to protect me, and be there for me. Still 27 years later, your just as useless.

It pains me that your daughter brags about what you brought for her birthday & what you do for her on a daily basis. You can't even call me on my birthday! You do these small gestures when you come up to Auckland, like buy dinner or drinks. And you expect to have this whole lot of gratitude from me. I spent a few months at your house in Christchurch - and you treated me like a child. Like a child that you brought up and had the right to impose your own idealistic views on. You had no right to do that! You've never been there for me, every time i've needed you the most. You've failed me.

I was a innocent child, in an abusive environment. With a step father who supposedly molested me, and who on a daily basis assaulted me and my mother. And you never took me away from that. In-fact when CYFS got you involved at the age of 7! You lied and said that you didn't know my mother was pregnant. Your cousin was my mums best friend. Unlikely story Anaru.
I can be thankful only to my Uncle for taking me out of that environment - and for CYFS giving my mother the option of either him or me. But i'm sure you live with a lot of guilt and regret. And the funny thing is, that the upbringing you had, being adopted and abandoned yourself. You'd think you would have done everything to protect your children from the same fate. I almost feel sorry for you.

I have held onto so much pain, and hurt & anger. But no more. I have gotten this far in my life without you. And i will carry on without you. You don't deserve my sympathy. But yet i feel it for you. You don't deserve my love, but yet it's still there, still hoping and waiting something will change, that you'll finally love me the way a father should. I won't hold my breath though. But i can't carry on the way that i have. I've lost every relationship that i've had, because of my insecurities, because i'm afraid that every man that comes into my life, isn't faithful and will eventually stray.
But you know - this period i am in - Is about healing my heart, and forgetting the past. Because i can't fix what is already done. I'm sorry that you weren't there for me, for my mother most of all. Maybe if you were, she wouldn't have met that asshole that abused her, and treated her like shit. I'm sorry that you too made some pretty fucked up mistakes. And i know without a doubt you relive these every day & it hurts you too. I hope that you can find peace & forgive yourself. But i'm letting these things go now, because they are not good for me - i still have a lot to learn. But i know that this is the only way i can move forward.

---------- Post added 09-12-2012 at 09:38 PM ----------

Dear Rob,
I don't know why you do this to yourself. -sigh-
Why do you play the victim? Like your so hard done by? It's like you've forgotten why we broke up. It's like you haven't acknowledged what i went through, what you put me through, what we put each other through.
I wanted so much for you to be the one. It's like i've been told so many times i'm the rescuer - i attract men just like you, who need help. Like i think i can fix you. But your all unavailable. You want what is easy. Someone to carry your burdens for you, it's easier then facing them.

I'm sorry i hurt your feelings again. But you can't text me after not talking to me for a week - and think i'm automatically going to melt in your arms, and ask for you back. I don't love you like that anymore, but i can't tell you that because i don't want to hurt you. I don't miss you - in fact i'm so much better without you. We're so much better without each other. We have accomplished more in the time we've been apart then we ever did together. Rob, this part of our life is over. We are over. Please you have to accept this. I've thought about it over and over, asking myself did i make a mistake leaving you. But i didn't. Because the truth is my heart isn't there for you anymore - and it wouldn't be right going back to you, when i don't love you like that, it's not right to hold onto anyone when your not fully invested in them, and them only.

I'm sorry. I should have let you go a long time before this. I don't wish anything bad, i actually wanted to remain friends. But your making that impossible. It's like if you can't have me like that, then you don't want me at all. And i'm really sad you feel that way. But if that's how it has to be. Then so be it. Your comments didn't phase me this time. I just feel sorry for you, that your still stuck in this loop. I hope that you find help for your issues, and that you work these out so they're not implemented into your next relationship. Your a great guy in so many ways, i just wish things didn't turn out the way they did. But it's too late to start again. Please let it go, please let me go.

Rochelle.

---------- Post added 09-12-2012 at 09:40 PM ----------

Dear Nivvy,
You'll work through it chick. You wouldn't have married this man if he wasn't everything to you.
Know that you have friends, and that if you need support we're here for you - anytime.
<3

Tania,

Stop being such a little bitch and man the fuck up

Tania

Dear -----,

In the last few days I been asking myself multiple questions but one important question stands out. I been struggling to answer it but maybe you can: "Are you willing to risk the long years of friendship over a romantic relationship?"

You think it would be a easy answer to come up with but it's not for me. It is the second hardest question I currently had to ask myself, the first was asking myself if I should tell you how I actually felt about you. I care for you, it may even be close to love, I do not know. My heart has been broken too many times to actually try to transcribe the feeling of love at this present time; all it does seem to know is fear and pain. You are the only friend I have left, the only one I have trusted with my real self. I treasure our friendship more then you will ever know, if I lose you, it would kill me.

You helped me through times I never thought I would survive, you gave me courage when I was scared. You're giving me hope from the possible ------, you do so much as a friend I'm scared of losing you. None of my relationships have worked and all my exes did was point a finger at me; that it was my fault. If they happened to be right, that it is my fault all my relationships failed... then how do I began to fix myself for you?

Sincerely;
A highly confused man.

Dear you know who,

I'm sorry we broke up so many years ago. I wanted to be with you so bad, yet you didn't want to be more than just friends. I moved on, I got married, I got divorced, and now I have truly learned how valuable you are. You were always thinking of me, always caring for this selfish jerk who was so greedy for being happy. I never asked you what you wanted, I never tried to please you enough. I was, for lack of a better word, a total ass to you. I was not as loyal as I vowed the day we started dating. Though we drifted apart, I allowed myself to be pulled away from you. Even after all this, you silently waited for me to come back. After me being such an unfaithful selfish jerk, you still wanted me back.

Now, I work to better myself every day in order to earn you back. You may be my significant other again... but one day I will earn you back. I will make myself worthy of being loved by you again. I will make myself someone you will be proud to tell other people about.

Sincerely,
You know who.

Dear Kyla,

Your mother is a flaming bitch-demon. I'm sorry, there's really no other way to put that. What she said to you was egregious, and inexcusable. Your personality is one of the best things about you, and anyone who has ever met you will say that. You are a truly amazing human being, and the fact that you are always happy, and bubbly, brings a little light into people's lives, which they truly need.

I really wish I'd had some advice to give you, other than don't listen to her. You are a stronger, happier, better person than she is, in my opinion, and she has no right to give advice on how to be happy, until she's not depressed all the time.

There are no words to express how wrong she is about this, and I cannot express my hope that you will not take any of it to heart.

-glass

Dear Elyssa,
You have no idea how much you hurt me by dating Felicia... We are all supposed to be close friends. it is very uncomfortable for Faith and I to watch OUR ex girlfriends date each other... It is the most awkward thing and I have no idea how to handle it. It is making me wish that I never introduced you to Faith OR Felicia... *sigh* I feel as though you only gave up on us because after you met Faith... WHO GOT US TOGETHER you liked her and thought she was the hottest thing ever, gave her attention, and showered her with compliments. You know I was recently screwed over but you still did it anyways and broke up with me. We waited 2 years for one of us to make a move and I was so happy when we finally started dating... but no... you gave up on us. You are really making it hard for Faith and I to talk to you two now. It was out of the blue and I feel as though Felicia betrayed me.

Love,
Ai

Dear Jake,

You cheated, we broke up, you never really owned up to it. STOP THINKING I AM GOING TO KEY YOUR CAR EVERYDAY I COME TO SCHOOL! I am sick and tired of it... If I wanted to key your car I would have by now. I do not like you, have feelings for you, or anything... I will be nice. I will be respectful... but stop acting like we are best friends because, well, we are not.

Love,
Ai

Dear Life,
You suck right now.
I almost took my life last week and it was sheer hell. I was done, broken, and depressed.
I am a bit better and I am even back on here and trying to finish the first quarter of school good. <3
Thank you for trying to bring me down but you failed...AGAIN.

Dear World:

Damn it all, he's cute. Quit making me think about it ceaselessly every time I go sit in that class. It never does me any good.

____

Dear Life,

Please don't ruin a possibly good thing for me. Seriously, give me a break. I'm not a bad or difficult person. After all, I have managed to get my ish together when I have to AND I do follow the rules (even when they will not benefit me AT ALL!). So don't eff this up for me and convince me that life is all about being mean and selfish. Because I know its not. So treat the decent ones out there for a change. If not for me, then for my loving and hardworking parents, for all my compassionate friends, and for the sweetest boyfriend I know. All they ever done wrong was to put others before themselves, and right now, they need a positive change. They're struggling. And when they struggle, I struggle. I hate seeing them like this. And what's worse, I hate seeing how people who've bullied, lied, and cheated their way to success have somehow earned it. I hope this is a test. Because obviously, I can't stomach how backwards everything seems to be nowadays. So please, PLEASE, be a little more sympathetic to those who don't ask for much. I would eternally, appreciate it.

Sincerely,
Me

Dear Kissing,
Why are you so damn hard to RP about? I mean seriously I've been rocking this RP and suddenly a kiss scene and I completely bomb it. Seriously, be less complicated.

Sincerely, TWP

Dear ______,

Sometimes, I wonder what could have been had I only been a little nicer. But try as I might, I still don't feel guilty for what I did. I feel bad for NOT feeling bad but... I still think I did what was right, and you over-reacted. This is a very selfish admission, but I could not understand your actions. You should have listened to me, or anybody with the same message, instead of trying to prove me wrong.

But of course, I can't send this without sounding like the bad guy, right?

Dear - - - -
Um, i dunno wtf is up with you. But i got a feeling your up to no good!
I don't want any part of it. I don't want complicated shit in my life right now. And i certainly don't need your mind game playing bs!
I think i best just cut this short, and move on with my boring, shit life alone. I just can't deal with more heartache. Sorry.

Dear gold digger,

T told me last night that you're not going to the skills comp. The top man said that, and you cried about it. I mean seriously!? You fall over, and have seizures all the freaking time. How is it, that you've been okay with being at cadets all this time? He was completely right to not let you go, and I think you should be told to pack your bags and leave. T said you're causing rifts so badly in that unit, all the kids are leaving, and T is going to leave if after one term things don't get better. You've just infested that unit, like a cockroach. Something that dad has built, and maintained for so long. Here you come, tearing it apart as well. Just like you have, with everything else of his.

I started thinking it over, and the last time I shared my birthday with dad - you said it was time to leave, so you could go grocery shopping, and cut my birthday dinner short. At my very first scholarship, he was a no show, because he was too busy on the phone with you. I'll never forget standing on stage, looking around for him - and finally being glad I could give him something to be proud of, only to feel the disappointment at his absence. Then when Joe asked dad if he could have my hand in marriage, you went and opened your fat mouth to the whole world, which ruined the surprise. Thhhheeeen on my graduation, you had a fit suspiciously close to the time my mother showed up, and dad ended up having to leave early to take you home. Which also meant my great aunt had to leave too. She was pissed, and I'm glad she made it known lol. Then again at my wedding! When you stuffed yourself with food, and decided to wander off to the toilet, and come back stating that you'd had a fit. Dad had to leave my wedding reception. He was the only family member from my side that attended, and once he left, it just felt like a real downer.

On the few occasions my parents get together, I really appreciate it. They separated when I was four, so naturally it's good for me to see them getting along. But you're not woman enough to let them meet up, at my graduation. You had to throw a fit, and get all hands on touchy touchy, like if dad didn't leave with you then and there, you'd die because it meant he didn't love you. It's sickening. You're like a high school kid... You must have some serious issues with your confidence or something, to feel so threatened, that you need to resort to such childish behavior to split up two people - who have a kid together. Mum and dad are civil to each other for my benefit, and their future generation. It's understandable. The father of your children, is welcome over to dad's at any time. There's no animosity there at all. You don't see dad throwing a tantrum, and treating your children's father like crap. He understands that he isn't the father to your children, and that someone else is. That person deserves to be in their lives, even if it means they're in each other's faces. Why can't you bring yourself to do the same? Just because my parents say hello to each other, doesn't mean they're going to rip each other's clothes off, and get to business. Even the stupid crap about how you were saying you are younger than mum, and laughing about it... The look on your face when dad said "Actually no, you're older than she is..." it looked like you were going to rip his throat out, even though you're the one who calculated it all in your head (and still got it wrong) then you had to turn around, and laugh in dad's face that he got with somebody so young. What the hell goes on in that head of yours?

Now that mum's got cancer, you're all nice and friendly to her. It's vile and disgusting, because I can see the way your lip curls slightly, whenever mum comes up between dad and I. Yes, he asks how she's doing, and asks me to send her his best wishes. But to look like you're happy someone got cancer... Wow, that just goes to show what a piece of nasty work you are. I feel angry at dad, for allowing such a poisenous person in his life. But I know I shouldn't because the truth is, he is a gentle soul... and I should be more upset, over the fact that you're happy to latch onto somebody like that, and use them for all they're worth. I spoke to my great aunt on the weekend, and she said the best thing to do for you, is to send out good thoughts, and words of comfort and hope (especially for my father) She says somehow, you will be rescued from the nasty streak that seems to have lodged itself into your very being.

It's amazing just how much bad fortune has fallen on dad since you came along. You got introduced to dad's bosses, and workmates. Tagged along with him on his journeys when he worked over time, on the weekends, and next thing he's been made redundant.... After holding that job for over 18 years. Then it happens again, at his next job! You get involved, and he gets made redundant again. All the jobs you've held for yourself, you've been let go from. You joined his cadet unit, and suddenly that's on the brink of going under. You started driving his muscle car, and suddenly it's up for sale. You move into the house, and your kids/or friends fill up the self contained unit, and suddenly dad can't charge rent and bring in a little bit of money each week. Dad's gained so much weight, in the time he's been with you, I fear he'll be bed ridden before long.... It's all so weird, that he's been hit with such a bad streak since you walked into his life.

Now here I am, deciding that he won't get to have his grandson over, because I don't want you infecting my son - the way you seem to infect everyone else. I don't want you to hurt my son, with the words you've used against me. Words that tear families apart. It's really not fair, and it's not right. You don't see me, or Joe hurling insults at you, over the terrible things you bring to others (even though we want too) but you can't do the same in return. I'm sorry, but I'm going to send out some good vibes - and move on. It's the only way I know, to protect my son. Most of all, I'm sorry to my father that he'll have to miss out on his biological grandson, the way he has started to miss out, on his only child.

Dear [boyfriend],

I love you. I just hope that one day you will realize that. It scares me when you seem down and out because I have noticed that you tend to think when you are like that. And it revolves around me sometimes and that isn't good. I just really hope that someday you will stop thinking that we shouldn't be together.. We won't make it if I want you more in the end. And you can't say oh well to that. You just can't. I want us to make it, but it scares me and hurts me when you say you don't care whether we do or not because I do care. I have stayed every time you have put us down. I have fought you on staying together. And I have stepped inside your shoes to try and understand the things you say and how you think. I get it, I don't want to be hurt in the end either. And I am not looking to do that. Not at all. I know you aren't a sweet talking kind of guy that expresses his feelings, so you won't tell me anything. We won't make it if I want you more..and since you won't talk to me about anything, I feel as if I do. I am trying to give you time to adjust to me and get used to the idea of me. And not think of me as another woman hoping to squeeze the life out of your heart. But it hurts me too, you know. I realize that these long messages that help express my thoughts probably seem corny or pointless to you and I don't even know if you read them and even process them or not. But I can only hope you do. Just like I hope that one day you will let me in, you will not be scared, you will not think I am out to get you, you will say that you want me here and that you do care if I am, and I hope one day you will want me as much as I want you. I love you, so much more than I probably should so soon and I really do want to be with you.. some things are meant to be. And I would really like to think I won't have to experience another heart break and that I have finally found the person to spend my life with..


Sincerely,
Yours always

Advice for me?

Dear whoever you are.
Depressed, really depressed and lonely. And i'm really starting to feel it - and i feel so awful. I don't know who to turn too, to be honest. All i'm doing is talking a lot of shit, and not really knowing what i feel inside, or what to do with myself. It just feels like such a struggle. It feels like there's no end to this heartache, this empty feeling inside. I lie through every day - saying that i'm okay - i'll be fine. But the truth is, i just don't know if i will be. There just doesn't seem to be a light at the end of this very very dark tunnel. God help me, please help me.

Dear Facebook,

I really hate you. I've got to aim to get J's picture done tomorrow, so I can quit you. I can't stand seeing people being so nasty on there to each other. Saying things they'd never say in person. I really can't stand how people seem to feel safe, in lashing out via the internet. How they make things personal... Especially on a status where somebody genuinely wants help, or support. There's nothing wrong with saying you're not alright, but there's something seriously wrong, for people to turn around and get spiteful in reply. GRR! I hate you FB!

Dear Nivvy's facebook friends,

What's up with you people.

Sincerely,
Poet

Dear Molly,

I miss you. More then I thought I would. The house seems so very empty without you and you still make us all cry. We where robbed. Four years is long enough to have you creep into our hearts so deep that now there is a hole. And yet four years was not enough....we should have had many more. I really miss you. Take care up there ok, we'll see you again some day.

Love,
Elle.

Tania,

Don't to to Vinny what you did to Cameron. You're getting attached and he probably doesn't even like you so you're just setting yourself up for a massive failure. Stop. Buy a cat. Deal with the fact you're a repugnant human that no-one wants and move on.

Tania