05-11-2008, 10:53 PM
I usually don't complain all that much about my life, my friends, my family, or anything really. My problems are generally small, and when things get too complicated I tend to just run away from said issue. However, there's one thing that just irks me in the wrong way, and being as indecisive as I am, I'm not exactly sure what to do about the problem. About three years ago I met someone on theOtaku.com, who seemed like a really nice girl. We had a lot in common and exchanged email addresses, and began talking often on MSN messenger. I looked forward to these IM conversations with her, but after a while things started...changing in the way she acted.
It was when she started really opening up to me that I started dreading talking to her, and set my status to away or busy as soon as she signed on, giving excuses as to why I couldn't talk at the moment. She had started talking about all these alternate personalities she had, about how she was actually an ancient demon who held the key to humanity and was constantly being abused by another one of these characters, who was her "father" or something of the sort. Kind of like a really, really, really bad anime. Originally, it wasn't alternate egos but just random OOC chat between our characters from various stories we were writing. Silly stuff, you know? I do it all the time for roleplays and such.
So once she had gotten into the whole split personality thing, she was convinced that my make-believe characters were my own alters and was turning everything we talked about into this huge emotional roller coaster, which I just couldn't take. Before she had gotten this intense, we had exchanged phone numbers, and I actually didn't mind talking to her. I ignored the fact that she always talked about herself and bashed almost everything I did, but soon she was attacking me with this soap opera evil-demon-takeover crap. Because of her I stopped answering the phone, and whenever she called my parents had to make an excuse for me (ex: I'm in the shower).
Everything was getting far, FAR too complicated for me, when suddenly...she just, stopped talking. She didn't come on MSN anymore, didn't call, and despite how much I dreaded the time when she'd come online and talk to me, I got increasingly worried when she didn't come on for a few months. What if all the stories she had been making up that involved her real family had been true? She had said that her mother always yelled at her and didn't want her around and threatened to disown her for reasons she didn't explain to me.
However, when over a year passed and I hadn't heard from her I admit that I did forget all about her. Now, she's back. Apparently she moved to a different state, and it sounds like she still lives with her same relatives and even visits friends and such. She emailed me, saying that she missed talking to me and really, really wanted to get back together our friendship. She seemed sincere, so I sent her a message. One of my other good friends (who I know in person) also talked to her often, but our friend accused her of lying to her about everything on ridiculous grounds. My friend said we should give her a chance, because she seemed to have changed for the better.
After one email it was clear that she hadn't changed at all (or at least not much) in fact, reading her blog entries without commenting or contacting her, it almost seems like she's worse. She swears like a sailor for no reason, complains about stupid things, and always claims that the world is out to get her and she wants everyone to leave her alone. It's been a few months since I last emailed her, but in one of her journals she wrote how she really missed talking to me (again) and wished I'd respond.
Yet again, I felt the pangs of guilt, even though I thought my negligence toward our friendship was justified.
What should I do? Should I give her another chance? If I do, should I play along, or ask her to quit the charade and just be herself like she used to be (Lord knows how she'll take THAT accusation)? Or, am I really doing the right thing in attempting to forget about her, and would it be pointless to try to salvage what in the past only gave me stress?
I used to be happy when I talked to her, but now, I act overbearingly cheerful no matter how bad of a mood I'm in when I talk to her, just because even though I don't enjoy talking to her, I feel bad thinking that I might do something to upset her or offend her. D:
Advice? Opinions? Am I just waaaaaay too sensitive about this for my own good? Either way, that was a really nice rant to get out of me. XD;;
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