Ok, so we went to metrocon. He went all three days, I only got to go Sunday. He went to the rave on Saturday night and he made out and more with 6 people. 3 guys and 3 girls. He didn't have sex with them and he didn't perform or recieve oral. I'm willing to work it out and try to get through this together but he isn't sure what he wants to do. He is my one and only love and he completes me and I don't think I would be the same without him. I haven't talked to him since yesterday and I already miss him. We had a relationship where we were always together and very understanding and we comunicated very well and now I don't know what's going on or what to do. Please help! :gonk:

So... he kissed multiple other people, and now he isn't sure whether he wants to work it out with you or not?

He betrayed your trust, he did something that obviously upset you, and now he doesn't seem sorry for it, because he's not sure if he even wants to be with you exclusively any more.
From what you've said, it doesn't sound like you can trust him not to do it again (or even do sexual things with other people when you aren't around).
So I think it's time to leave this guy and move on.

Of course it's going to be hard, and it hurts when someone you love isn't as interested in the relationship as you are. But for any relationship to work, you both have to really want it, and have the same amount of dedication to each other.
If he isn't as committed to this relationship as you are, it can only get worse from here.

If I were you, I'd make a break of it now, and move on but stay friends.
If you carry on, it's more likely that you'll both get hurt, and have a messy break-up when the time comes.

I'm tough love, so dun be offended if I say something that bugs you.

So yer boyfriend went to a rave and macked with six other people, huh? That's pretty wacked, if you asked me.

As you've said, "he isn't sure what he wants to do" meaning he is doubting yer guyses relationship.

As for you, you kinda sound like a clingy girlfriend. Some guys will find the clinginess annoying and will act out, trying for some sort of freedom. You say it's a relationship with open communication, and I dun doubt that since he did tell you what happened.

Yer definantly going to have to talk to him, it's the enevitable thing. But instead of forcing him to talk, give him some time to process his feelings before setting him down for a long and deep discussion. The last thing you want to do is make him feel rushed.

If he does decide to leave you, dun think it's the end of the world. You make him sound perfect but once yer out of a relationship you'll start seeing the flaws in the relationship. Use the time yer giving him to think about his feelings and think about the relationship logically and rationally.

I don't think I'm clingy, he's usually the one that invites me with him and stuff. All the other stuff was very helpful though. He does have flaws and I see them but I love his perfections AND his flaws.

If he cheats on you with six other people, he isn't the one and only for you.
If you kiss with one person, okay, mistake. But six? He totally forgot about you that night.
These things piss me off, sorry ><
Kissing isn't as bad as sex. But kissing six times is, to me, as bad as sex.

And ehm. I am sorry for you.

He doesn't say that he did it on purpose. He was cosplaying as L from Deathnote and got pretty much jumped by fan people, so I understand somewhat.

So, when you get jumped on, you stop thinking straight? I'm sorry, that's a stupid excuse, he PLAYED L, he wasn't L, he was Mister X, who has a girlfriend, who he commited to.

And you don't kiss 6 people by accident.

yeah, I know. I'm really mad at him right now.

Just.. Mad?

yeah, really mad. And a little betrayed.

I don't think kissing means much of anything at a convention. e_e That wouldn't bother me. It's the not wanting to work it out that would piss me off. Chances are if he's not willing to talk to you about it than you'd beeter start looking for someone else.

He says that he cant forgive himself and that he doesn't deserve me. He just wants time to figure things out and try to get over it himself. I've already decided that when he says that he regrets it and that he's sorry and he won't do it again I'll forgive him. But it's gotta come from the heart. I know when he means things and when he doesn't.

Well, if it was me I would dump him on the spot. He isn't your mr wonderful if he can't keep his hands to himself. I'm 100% sure someone else was playing L at the convention so he really has no excuse because there would have been plenty of other people to kiss besides him and I'm sure one of them was single. 3 girls and 3 GUYS? That's just plain wrong. Your morals shouldn't go down when at a convention.

he's bi by the way... >_>

No kidding :P Go out with a straight guy.

Originally Posted by xSexyWafflesx

He doesn't say that he did it on purpose. He was cosplaying as L from Deathnote and got pretty much jumped by fan people, so I understand somewhat.

That's quite possibly the weakest excuse I've ever heard.

Ditch that bitch, Sister!

Originally Posted by xSexyWafflesx

he's bi by the way... >_>

That just makes it worse.
A straight guy kissing another guy is just a bit of fun; it doesn't mean anything, and they're usually doing it for comedy value (or to turn the ladies on, 'cause witnessing guy-on-guy action is hotter than July).
But a bisexual guy kissing another guy is just as much cheating as it would be if he were kissing a girl.

I would probably stiffen with jealousy but then remember,
Im the one that means everything to him and this is something that he would probably forget.
If he rubbed it in my face, I would go and do the same thing with 12 people just to double it back on him until he said sorry. Oh, I wouldn't cosplay L.. I would cosplay either Axel from Kingdom Hearts or a Dark Elf fighter or Dark Elf Mage from Lineage 2.. and just to show you why I would.. Click the links I embedded into the words.. :)

And I would confront him and tell him exactly what I did.
Then sit down and talk with him, because thats when you really need to talk about stuff like this.

But I would never have to worry about doing that to him x3
I love him too much for that ;>
and I know he would never do that to me ♥

Having fun isn't a bad thing, but there really is no need to kiss 6 people when he has a gf. I would be a person who would try to work it out, but if the other person isn't willing to put in the effort, than neither am I. Don't hold on to a relationship where you have doubt and pain. It's not worth it.

How long have you two been together?
Also, kissing with SIX different people ? :|

That's crazy, he obviously doesn't feel bad about it.
If he did, he would've stopped after the first person, or perhaps the second.
He wouldn't continue kissing five others.

I think you should reconsider your relationship with him, I doubt he takes it as serious as you do. And although breaking up is a bitch and hurts like hell, this isn't going to be the last time he does it.
Duh, how many girls have said "if he stops and apologizes i'll forgive him" ?
It just goes on and finally you're wrecked when you do get out of it.

Well...given the situation, I would say you should find out whether or not he actually meant anything by it. I mean...I have no problem with showing physical affection to people I just see as friends as long as they're comfortable with it...and I would not have any difficulty kissing someone I didn't really know for the sake of acting.

So the question becomes, did he really do it because he LIKED them, or was he just doing some in-character fanservice?

Regardless, if you feel uncomfortable with it, talking to him about it is a good idea. And if he doesn't want to talk about it...then I really doubt he's worth keeping. Communication is a critical part of any relationship.

It may be mean of me to say, but should you really be looking to us, the random internet people, for answers? I don't think we're the one's you need to express your concerns to, but rather, you should express them to him. n.n

I think you should dump him, he cheated on you. He made out with six people, not just girls but guys too.. I don't know what that says to you but..that's pretty messed up... You deserve better than that, even if he was drunk, he didn't have the right to make out with six people..I mean.. he was there for three days and already began cheating on you..

You don't deserve that, no one does. So...you shouldn't be with him. I mean I know you can forgive him..but forgetting..what if it happens again? You might become suspicious. Don't be with a guy like that, you deserve better and not dumping him is putting yourself down.

If it was me, I wouldn't give any second chances. Cheat once, you'll cheat again.

Then again, I don't generally make an emotional connection that I couldn't live without, sooooo.... it might be a little different for you.

So what I will leave you with is, look before you leap. It will do you a bit of good to take a step back and take a good, honest look at the relationship, and to ask yourself the questions Fullmetal Phantom brought up in an earlier post.

Sometimes people DO make mistakes, they get caught up in the moment.... but 6 PEOPLE? I'm doubting.

If I were you, I'd break up with him. But if you two were married, I'd say work it out.

He broke your trust and doesn't deserve you. Dump the jerk.

If I found out my husband ever kissed anyone else I would get rid of him immediately. I don't care if he was at a convention or not, there's no excuse for kissing anyone else. I do consider that cheating and there's never any excuse for cheating.