ljos- Yes, they use those exact phrases because the game is set in the 1880's. I'm not sure if the game takes away options for others, but I'm given the option to 'get to know an aristocratic young miss' and 'get to know an influential young rake' as options for raising my persuasive/social stats. If any of you end up playing that game, I will let you know what my twitter is so we can assist each other in game.

I might add this to the first post: "You don't have to have XY chromasomes to 'be a man'":

I went ahead and added the video. I wish I had reserved more posts when I created this hangout because my first post is getting rather crowded.

I think you can ask a mod to add another post under your first post, Crow. :) I heard they can do that for you. :D

I remember the movie Mulan, I really liked that movie. :)

Augh I have been reading so much gender theory lately I think I'm about to overdose.. while it is helping me realise a lot of things, it's also making things seem even more complicated. For example, I agree with most postmodern feminists and gender theorists that gender is performative rather than essential, but again, there is still a prevailing insistence, especially I think with transsexuals, that gender is essential (that is, 'something' we are born with as opposed to a social construct). Of course it's impossible to say for sure which it is, but I'm curious if any of you have opinions on this, or if you've thought about it in this way before?

I would really like to have a 'member spotlight' area personally, because in the past some regulars have shared pics expressing their androgyny via duality or being 'in the middle'. I would also like to spotlight really intelligent things people have said. I'll consider that, Lizzy, when everybody gets done sweeping away the dust from the Halloween event. Thank you for the suggestion :)

ljos- I think something very important is where you draw the line between 'sexual' and 'gender'. Those with XY chromasmes have external sexual parts, and therefore often think in an external way. Those with XX chromasomes are sexually set up to get pregnant, be treated gently during pregnancy, and sexually, biologically feed and nurture the child.

Societies over the world have then constructed 'gender' on top of the scientific and the sexual. There have been cases of intersex babies who were decided to be one gender, raised that way, and come puberty it turns out they were wrong. A child's singing voice is the same, whether a little boy or little girl. Children also experiment with things outside of their gender, and the adults try to 'correct' them... boys experimenting with skirts and/or dresses. Girls who explore the woods, get poison ivy and come back with snakes and lizards to shove in their friends faces.

However these polarities are essential to humans, and whether they are more balanced within one person (as I try to consider myself), or you find two extremes in two different people, despite their sex (this is often but not always seen in romantic partners that consist of two males or two females, one usually shoulders more male gender while one shoulders more female gender while they are of the same biological sex).

Transexuals are an interesting lot and I am not one so I do not know what to think. Perhaps the chemical signals in their brain that correspond with one sex do not mesh with their actual parts. I would hear my mother describe transvestites as "a man born in a woman's body" or vice-versa. From here, my guess would be they would overcompensate by taking on all the stereotyped gender roles of the sex they desire to be (but not always, as there are always going to be exceptions when we're talking about this matter).

Hey Crow~ *waves* I find this thread refreshing. I'm sooo tired of people, especially my parents, expecting me to be more like my gender :cry: Oh and hiding your gender is easier in spanish Crow, don't be fooled because houses are females and forests are males :lol:

Regarding your first paragraph, might that still not be social? Boys are expected to think "externally" and women expected to be treated with care? There are examples of societies where this works in opposite ways, where women are the hunters and men are the artists and family caretakers. Some theorists insist that sex is social as well, and/or not as exclusively biological as we think it is.

But I was referring to gender (social identity) rather than sex (biological characteristics). How are these polarities essential to humans? Aren't they raised that way, as you say, when parents or teachers try to "correct" children's behaviour? They also copy other children and adults in trying to find their own identity and isn't it then socially constructed, rather than essential?

Also, transvestites are not usually "man born in woman's body" or vice versa.. that's more transsexuals and, to some extent, transgender people. Transvestites dress up as the different gender but don't usually feel an urge to become that gender, apart from connecting with that side of themselves while dressed up. There are exceptions of course, but this seems to be the general description of the terms.

Well, I hear Olivia Jones identifies himself as a male who likes women. It's just that he also happens to enjoy to dress like that, that's all and nothing more, well, maybe partying lots :XD

On another note, my mother caught me evaesdropping on a Darth Vader action figure in a videogame shop and told me "Maybe had you been born a boy your father would like it when you looked at those figures. Or maybe you wouldn't even be here and be somewhere else with him." That totally broke my heart :cry:

That was mean of your mom....
Mine atleast let me be myself...but then again she didn't really have a choice. It was my problem that I wore my Pajama pants and combat boots

No such thing as combat boots outside of military institutions in my country so I have none :XD And most clothes I like are masculine, but my mom has to admit most women clothes here are abhorrently fugly...

... and in a turn of irony, my drums teacher tells me I should start getting used to wearing heels :rofl: That was totally unexpected, and not so welcome coming from a man but funny still~

I think drag queens and kings usually identify with their biological sex outside of their performance. And that was really mean of your mother to say that, Kah. :/ Doesn't she know you don't have to be a boy to like Star Wars? *shakes head*

Kah- That's a prime example of when I mention parents trying to 'correct' their children's behaviour if it does not fit in with the currently accepted gender roles. You don't just have my sympathy, you have my empathy. When I was a child I was looking at toys/action figures from Jurrasic Park. Each one came with a human character, a weapon, and a dinosaur. I drifted to what I thought was the coolest, but my mother was shocked that I picked one that didn't corrospond with my sex (and the gender forced on me). She let me get a toy, but she forced me to get one that matched my own sex/gender.

Just like "Barbies are for girls, GI Joes are for boys" "Well what about ken dolls?" "What about the girl Power Rangers and girl VR Trooper?"

Tana didn't really have that problem. Growing up I liked barbies...but then again I didn't have a guy around, so I never got to see alot of boy things, it was me and mom for awhile, till she had my sister nd married her dad.
When I have kids I'm gonna do my best to let my kids like what they want, but that can be hard as well because you want so much to protect them and you know that if your little boy likes Barbies...well, the other kids are gonna kick his ass

Kids can be the devil, huh? I remember offering the school children I used to supervise some colour pens to do their exercises, when a boy shout: "Hey don't take the pink pen I want the pink pen!" and the other boys were like "Ouh, he's dying for the pinky pink pen lalalaaala!" and even hit him a bit so I had to step in :roll: Mind you, these kids were 8 years old. The 17 year old ones I study with can be much, way much more cruel than that though... drawing penises with liquid paper on the calculator's screen is just the tip of the iceberg :gonk:

*nods* I was usualy the brunt of the ridicule when I wasn't hiding in the back of the class room and keeping to my self

Hm... I remember trying to play with my brother's action figures with growing up and he got mad. :( Now I have my own action figures. XD! I finally have the Gambit action figure he once had. :D! I also have a Vampire Hunter D action figure now too.

As for Barbie's, I ended up giving them all away against my will and was only allowed to keep six of them. I was going to give them away, but to who I wanted to give them to. :S

My aunt gave me a mermaid Barbie doll for Christmas. That was kinda awkward, as it is neither my taste nor my religion... but hey, at least she's one of the few who tried and gave me a gift for my birthday :drool:

I got to donate a lot of stuff after I joined the military

Parents can be very influential. Even as an adult we still remember how we were raised, and we still hear their voices in the back of our heads. Some young adults are still controlled by their parents, usually financially (We'll stop paying for your college if you dont ____).

Children can even be haunted by parents who have passed on, especially if those parents were abusive or toxic. Their legacy can still hurt a person from the grave and it may take professional therapy to overcome.

Indeed it can, some parents are great, while other parents are asses.

*Settles in*

Nice to see you here, seth. What are your opinions on my first post?

Looks rather interesting. I know I confused a lot of people on gaia when I changed my female avi's gender to male lol. Most people on gaia still don't know what I am. I just tell them I'm an oops lol.

'What' you are matters ever so much less than 'WHO' you are. Take myself for example: On menewsha, I run a charity for new users, I generally participate in a site events. I can be a bit snarky at times, but do mean well and have a fair amount of friends (and fanpersons). I'm a literate roleplayer and I strive to be intelligent and insightful.

That does seem to be more important than what is in my pants, correct?