And then the government doesn't allow gay marriage? Initially, they said gays marrying would destroy the concept of family because two people of the same sex can't make children. Then, when divorce rates went up and it was generally realized that straight people aren't great parents by default and that some gay couples have adopted and raised children wonderfully, the people who oppose gay marriage changed their mind and said that only straight people could marry because they're so bad at raising a family. Because so many straight couples are irresponsibly getting pregnant, they should be allowed to marry to help ensure they raise their child. Gay people, however, are still not allowed to get married because they can't have children, but this time it's because they're too responsible. It's bullshit.

Sorry for the rant, but it just upsets me that supposedly normal families can be so fucked up and yet still viewed as normal while perfectly happy families still aren't allowed to legally be a family.

And I'm so sorry to hear about your girlfriend's family, sarofset. I hope things get better. :(

Don't forget the recent study that also proves that any couple - male/female, female/female, or male/male - is superior in raising a child than a single parent.

I have no sources 'cause it's also five in the morning and I read the article that mentioned it on my iPhone. :ninja: But yeah. Um. Bam.

-spoons with Anna- I FOUND YEW!

I'm so worried about the whole situation with my girlfriend's family right now. I'm trying not to be. I'm trying to give the whole thing over to God (I'm christian) But it's so hard. They have to ship the brother off to another state, because it's not going to get better with him here, and she's "agreed" to go to therapy, but I'm even worried about that, you know? It's just terrible. I'm afraid I'll lose her somehow, and after my last breakup I think it might kill me. Her parents are probably getting divorced. They've been together for thirty years, now my girlfriends mother is threatening to leave, or worse, off herself. I don't know what to do other than be there for her. I just spent most of the night with her in the hospital, because her mother was threatening to kill herself like every two hours since new years eve. And they called the cops and had her hospitalized for it. She was released, without any serious examination, because she was acting sweet as punch to the doctors. Ugh!! I hate having to be so strong all the damn time. I wasn't made for it. I'm not strong, I'm weak. I always have been. I don't believe in gender, because I'm supposed to be this big strong guy, and inside I can't be. It's not fair.

...Sorry about that. Just super tired, and exhausted, and worried. :(

@Facade- Well, of course! It's hard for one person to raise a child on their own, because there's so much work involved. It's hard for most people to take care of themselves, much less a child! xD But yeah, it's so stupid that people think gender factors in to the raising of a child at all.

Aw man, this wasn't a very good hiding spot at all! You're way too good at hide-and-seek, Faccie. ;_;

@sarofset- I'm sorry, that's really awful. :[ Just because you can't be strong all the time doesn't make you any less of a man though. Gender stereotypes like that are bullshit, anyone can see that, and being weak does not make you feminine. In fact, most women are closer to "big strong men" than a lot of men are. It's all a matter of perspective.

Brianamal: I also cook, sew, and make jewelry. I like shopping, I hate sports, I like chick flicks. Most of my friends are girls, and I have emotional disorders which make me moody and weird. Aside from my body I'm a girl. That's primarily why I don't like gender roles. They're bull, and make me feel bad about myself.

First of all: how many Iron Chefs are women? One. Most of the world's chefs are cooks. Second: many, many men sew. There are plenty of straight male tailors out there as well as cosplayers, etc. Not every male fashion designer is gay, same goes for male hairdressers. It's not out of the ordinary that you like shopping either, because we live in a capitalist country. That's just how this country works; everyone likes shopping and getting new things. Sports and chick flicks are interests that anyone can have (tons of female athletes, plenty of chicks that hate chick flicks) and being friends with the opposite gender doesn't mean you are that gender. And I don't see how your emotional disorders factor into this, as both genders have those. Unless you're trying to draw a parallel between those and your period, and in the case that these mood swings are followed by bleeding from your ovaries, then yes, you might be a woman. I agree that gender stereotypes are awful, but it seems to me that you fully support them. You need to get it out of your head that certain activities and interests correlate with specific genders, because what you're interested in has no effect on what gender you are. It's about whether or not you feel comfortable in your own skin, whether or not you can stand to look at yourself because what you're seeing isn't you. Anyways, I should stop ranting now. I've probably offended you.

Just a little. understanding social gender stereotypes, and supporting them are totally different things. I understand the tenants of most every major religion, but I don't follow them all.

According to our society I act like a girl. I consider myself however, to be beyond gender as a concept. Just like race. I am who I am, not what I am. That's how everyone ought to see it I think, but hardly anyone does.

As far as gender goes I've always identified more with girls. Understood them better. Although It's really hard for me to understand anyone, I do understand girls better. And sadly a while back I was dating someone who could possibly have understood that, and she dumped me before I could tell her. My current girlfriend however seems not to care, and actually loves my girlyness in many ways. :)

But you are supporting them! By saying that enjoying those things makes you girly, you are upholding society's belief that certain activities and interests are feminine and others are masculine. Also, religion is completely different. The point you're making right now is similar to saying "meditating makes me a buddhist in a christian's body." Or, "because I support gay rights, that makes me an atheist in a christian's body."

That's a good philosophy to have, but I sincerely doubt that society sees you as a girl. Society sees you as a man, because that's what you look like, but the "problem" you have is that you like things that society doesn't deem manly. So what? Feeling insecure because of how people view you doesn't make you a woman, it just makes you insecure.

Again, just because you're better friends with women doesn't mean you want to be a woman. And dude. I know what girlfriend you're talking about, don't play dumb with me. I was fine with the fact that you liked sleepovers and painting your nails or whatever you think it is that makes you girly, because that's not at all out of the ordinary! Your gender-identification in no way affected my dumping you, and I would not (and will not) take you back because you want to identify as female now. Do you really think I'm so shallow? I'm glad you've got a girl who accepts your OUTLANDISH interests, though. Because every other girl on the planet wouldn't be fine with their boyfriend liking to cook! What a concept!

Also, I don't think you're as tolerant as you purport. I distinctly remember you telling me how it was against the bible for two men to lay together, that you don't hate gay people, you just hate what they do and, as I was breaking up with you, you told me to promise you I would never date a girl. Sorry, but I call bullshit.

First of all not talking about you. I've had other relationships. And I wouldn't want you back anyway.

All that aside, people change, and grow. It's kinda how life works. And I'm not supporting a thing by simply saying it exists.

Most of my friends that I've made recently are either gay or bi, and I don't care. Seeing as how I don't actually believe in the concept of gender it would be difficult for me to give a crap about who you date based on that. The whole thing with the levitical laws has to do with disease, and the problems they addressed have for the most part been solved. I don't care about them.

Don't you dare assume you know what I believe, or who I am. You don't know me anymore. Not by a long shot.

If you'd like to get to know me, that's fine. But trying to indite my issues, based on our past is just... well beneath you.

If you knew me (and I were comfortable being myself around you, and you believed in gender) you would say I acted like a girl about 80% of the time.

When I was small I played with dolls, wanted long hair, absolutely craved having an easy bake oven, and of course watched "girl shows" (according to my "friends") On television. I was called a girl, I was called gay, I was made fun of constantly. Because of all that I thought there was something wrong with me, and i jumped the other direction. Now that I allow my mind, and faith to rule me and not anything else I don't believe in Gender at all. God made my soul, and my body is just a dustcover.

Please don't criticize me for someone I'm not, and am not proud I was. Thank you.

http://www.menewsha.com/forum/commun...ly-matter.html

Please ignore the argument that happened after I posted this. lol.

I actually wouldn't say you "acted like a girl," because I don't believe there is a way to act like a girl. Gender stereotyping isn't a thing I do.

I'm deeply sorry that you had such close-minded friends when you were small and that they damaged you so much, but you have to know that the things you did as a child are not girly things, and liking them does not make you female. It saddens me deeply that you felt the need to overcompensate because of those peoples' opinions and I'm glad that you're embracing the things you enjoy, but you are misguided in believing that those things are girly. They are just interests. Anybody can like them, regardless of gender or gender identification.

Ah... you misunderstood. I don't think they are girly. As i said I don't believe in gender at all. Society at large seems to think the things I like/do are girly. And I'm starting to really not care what people think. Once you do enough research, and find that what society at large believes is usually wrong, and in some cases just plain silly you stop caring what they think, and start to pity them their ignorance.

And because of certain people in my life I'm becoming less and less damaged. :) I'm really quite blessed. I just wish that God wold bless my girlfriend's family with peace, and harmony. They need it sooo bad. Her mother, as previously mentioned is going all bat $#!% crazy. And it's really hard on her.

Thank you for chatting with me like this by the way. :) When Crow invited me I was worried you'd go all Dr. Octogonapus on me. lol.

Thank you for being nice, despite who I was.

Kah: Yeah that's kinda it. And I joke about me being a girl all the time. ...no one ever gets that I'm kinda serious. When I say "girly" I mean stuff that fits the view of most people as being stuff for girls. The easy bake oven being the toy I wanted most as a child. Unfortunately told my dad that. He said it was for girls, and made me think there was something wrong with me wanting it. The only "manly" thing I do is martial arts, and that's becoming more unisex thank God.

@Kah- I was thinking about that earlier! If only there was more gender neutrality. :( It's bad enough that pronouns for each are different; why do profession titles have to be different too?

Titles usually aren't anymore. A cook is a cook and a chef is a chef and gender has nothing to do with it anymore. A doctor is a doctor. A nurse is a nurse. That's what I've seen anyway. Are there any in american english that are gender specific anymore? And socially acceptable.

As for pronouns English sucks for not having a neutral one. German has one "Mann". And I suppose you can use "one" in English, but it sounds off for some reason. Does French have a neuter pronoun? I don't remember. Although in German things have gender. lol. It had to do with spirits at one point I'm told. However they've been over gender roles for a good while now. Being a "house husband" was and is common. Women have been bread winner's as much as men have. It's kinda awesome.

True enough. I speak English, and a little German. Those languages work well for me. I like them. I took a couple years of French in high school. didn't like it. I know a lot of people who do though. I guess it falls to personal taste. German sounds stronger to me. More natural too. Not super sure why.

...Who says I'm the evil one.

I'm watching An old Sci-fi show on television. :) I'm enjoying it, although I'm still worrying about my girlfriend. It's like bubbling under the surface. Like I'm just the skin, and the worry is filling it out. It actually physically hurts. Ugh.

...Anyway. I'm having a crummy week. lol. although my jury duty not happening was kinda cool.

I've seen all of twilight zone at least once. I'm watching the original V. It's not bad.

It was a good show. Bet you can find it on youtube.