Hi swannzzzz!! :heart:

How you doing? :)

Lavi has got a job!!

YAY! Congrats!!!!! Where at?

I'm doing alright, have big news! The husband and I, after weeks of extensive talking and discussion, have decided to seperate (hapily! not on any bad terms. We still love each other, just know we need some time apart to grow and find ourselves again) and things are actually seeming like they're gonna be pretty ok now. I'm gonna move back to pittsburgh with my friend from college, and stay there to work friday evening through tuesday morning, then come home to be with my daughter the rest of teh week. We're taking back the basement apartment we were renting off his parents, since they'll let us have it for only 100 a piece each month, which isn't very much. then hubbin will stay there with her fri-sun, and his parent's will take her upstairs with them the other night that we aren't there. He's gonna go back to college, and just work on getting his life together in general. I think things will really be ok soon :-)

Sorry I've not been more chatty lately. I've been in an iffy mood.
Just wondering if this is the right thing for me.
I need to stop second guessing myself.

Swansie: that's good to hear that you two are on better terms and didn't have to take a break on bad terms. :hug:

I'm sorry things have been so blah again Hope :-( And don't worry, I completely get the whole second guessing yourself and just feeling antisocial because of it. You take your time, and in the end, just remember, life is to short for regrets. Do what you think is right, and try to look at everything as a learning and growing experience :-) Enjoy the happy times, and tr to take the bad ones in stride without letting them trip you up. Live, Love, and Laugh and you will have a wonderful life :-)

Thats a good Philosophy Swanz! And i'm glad the seperation was a lot LESS messy than you probably thought it would be.

Pittburgh will be awesome for you i know you wanted to go back.

Oh and my job is a call centre advisor for Santander (they're a hauge banking group that took over a few banks to form a biiigg banking company).

my start wage is like £2.00 more than i've ever had, and i can be trained up to promotion level after 6 months so it should be good...apart from the complainin customers i'll recieve daily :roll:

As for you Hopeh. Big hug for you! But i recons no matter what path you end up on there are going to be highs AND lows, but when its a situation like yours and soon to be mine, you learn to appreciate the good alot more than you even remember the bad.

I've now accepted my impending future, as i've been talking to alot of Army wives. I recons i will be fine once im on base in a house with him =3

Thanks to both of you. And I know I need to focus on the positive. And I'm in a much better mood than I've been so thankfully I've been smiling a lot more since yesterday morning. And we were texting yesterday, he still doesn't know, but hey, at least it's contact right?

Aw that is good you got to text each other hopeh.

And boo to not knowing anything. it must be quite close now though surely? D=

Yeah, at least he got a bit of free time, if one can call that.

And really, by now, I'm just tired of it, and I've given up, I'll find out when I find out. :XD

Yeaah well. Im sure you'll be extatic when you do find out. I'd have given up too lol. I used to think, imagine the worst, then you won't be dissapointed whatever happens...cause its gotta be better than the worst :rofl:

Oh, I imagine the worst as well when I know that he's totally alright.
Yeah, and I am sick of being disappointed and I refuse to let my life be run by worrying and wondering when he'll be coming home.

How's been living with your sweetie been going?

We had one row after a few days but i THINK we're getting used to things now.

I just have to accept that i can't have him to myself 24/7 and stop moping when he wants to do something that doesn't include me xDD

We're going Oxford tomorrow though so that should be cool cause i've never been!
I just wish i had a damn camera! :cry:

Oh, sorry to hear that, but good to hear that you're both doing better now.

And yeah, that's a good thing to get used to. I'm already used to that, considering how little I get of Loveh.

Oh, that's cool! And awe! Why don't you have a camera?

Yeah well i was used to it too but when we got to be together we were inseperable lol.

And im still trying to be like that now but i keep forgetting that i don't have to leave him so soon anymore xD

I have never really had a camera, just havent had the monies. I do plan on it once i start working though =]

Well, he did have a life before you did move down there... it's hard for him too, I mean not that he doesn't like living with you, but that he's having to learn to re-arrange things as well. Just think about it from his pov as well.

Oh, yeah, I understand. I know that as soon as I get my hands on Loveh again, I'm not going to want to let him go. I'll probably be the one who's going to be bawling when it's time to let him go back to North Carolina.

Oh, I couldn't imagine not having a camera! :gonk: I always have my camera on me at all times. I'm the photographer of my family.

Edit:
Sorry if I seem a bit snipity. xD Guess my iffy mood is coming back. :(

xD I no's and your awesome at takin pictures!

And true true, i totally agree. I just keep forgetting and start moaning now and then before turning around and saying...oh wait...go ahead, i can't take ALL of your time xD

Noo to iffy-ness!!

Get showing me some picci's you've taken recenty. You must have caught some summer?

Oh, thanks!

And I do the same when I'm around him. It's goin to be hard to let him go to visit with everyone else he needs to see before heading back east.... Maybe I can convince him to go with him?

And sadly I don't have any on my parents computer. I do have a ton of photos that I've taken this summer so far, but they're all on my laptop and I don't have time to grab my laptop and transfer pictures to my flash drive and them put them on on my parents computer and then upload them. But maybe next time I'm on. I may be able to find a few pics of my lil bro and the kids I'm child sitting for, but I'll have to find them, not quite sure where the links are.

Edit:
Ok, there are two pictures that I did take that I have uploaded and I've found the links for.

This is my little brother getting 'attacked' by the two little boys I watch three days a week:
http://i45.tinypic.com/2rog7xz.jpg

And here is my bro 'jumping' for the ball the boys are trying to keep from him:
http://i46.tinypic.com/2nak0om.jpg

Maybe! Jim lets me go with him most of the time. He's good at introducing me to new people too, although he knows i'll just forget who they are straight away :lol:

Thats a shame about the pictures. I still hate my old pc for breaking and making me loose all of the years pictures.
All of my old school pictures were lost with that stupid thing :cry:

Hah, well the boys look like they're havin fun at least! :heart:
Another reason why i need a camera!

i've seen loads of my neice and nephew since coming here but i can't take any pics yet! :cry:

Oh, yeah, he loves to introduce me to everyone as his fiancee. Makes me grin. Smile. Feel so good. :heart:

Oh, yeah. But I'll be sure to update some more of them so that I can show you... oh, wait!!! I just remembered... I have some summer pics that I've taken on my dA!! Do you have the link to that? I can find it for you if you want to see the pics. <3

The flower pics were taken this summer. I thought I had more summery pictures on there. I'll work on uploading some newer photos on there. I'm failing at uploading pics this summer so far. :gonk:

Oh, yeah, my brother was actually laughing, he kept on trying to get them to think that the ball was not really there. Rofl! "That isn't the ball! That's my belly!" He was tryin to stuff it into his shirt. That didn't work. He's great with kids! <3

Awe!! I'm sure that once you get a camera that you'll get a ton of adorable shots of your niece and nephew! :glomp:

-looks at pictures-

:heart: I LOVE THEM ALL! :heart:

Ireland though? When did you go Ireland?! :shock:

Oh, thank you a bunch hun!!
And we went Summer of 2006 to Ireland for 2 1/2 weeks.
I cut my hair REALLY short like a couple days before we went. Loveh hates my hair short.
Before I did it, he was threatening everything to get me not to. Looking back, cutting it was a stupid idea, at least it grew back somewhat for graduation. It was decent length by them.

this is how short I cut it -- it had been about half way down my back when I had mum cut it to that length.
http://i90.photobucket.com/albums/k2...6/P6180052.jpg

Anyways, mum needs a turn on here so she's kicking me off, I may be able to find a net connection out on the deck but not sure about that. May be too hot to go and sit out there. I'm sweating inside. May be time to put back on my swim suit, as that was about all I could bear to wear yesterday.

Hope that everything works out with your sweetie and love every moment you get with him. I wish that my sweetie could be here with me.
:heart: :glomp:

He will be soooon! All the suffering pays off i assure you!

I hate the fact that i will enjoy my time with him for a while and then we'll be back to square one when he joins up xD
At least i had a practice run i guess xD

And i agree i guess with the length, i did that myself once. Cut it to above my chin and everybody was telling me to grow it again.

my hair is so thick though so i have to keep cutting it, but i won't have it that short again, it was just wrong! :P

Anyway take care for now hunneh! :heart:

Wow. What a week it's been. Zane finally moved out. God did it hurt. I still can't really get through more than a few hours without breaking down. I didn't think it would be this bad.

*huggles Swansie* Awe! I'm so sorry! :(

Thank you. It's slowly getting better. An old friend of mine who i'd been intimate with in the past just got out of a bad relationship as well, so we've been using one another as rebound distractions here and there. It takes the edge off at least. I ust feel bad for Sheydra. She crawls around every morning for an hour or two saying "da-da-da-da" like she's looking for him :-(

How is everything with you Hope?

Dang, Swan, I always forget that you have a kid in the picture as well! Poor little one :( That's got to be even tougher on you seeing her look for Zane. Its great that you have a friend who is going through the same thing as you. Its always great to talk and write about what you are going through and your feelings. Don't hold them up :-) I am glad you are talking with us here.