Yeah, I wouldn't want to have more than one kid in diapers. It's expensive. I know someone who had three in diapers at one time. Luckily, one of them is potty trained now. xD

Yeah, it's something to keep in mind. Also, one time, she woke up scared and decided to bring her potty closer to the bed and ran with it. THAT was awful.

And I'm not sure yet but I know I won't raise her to judge anyone (hopefully!). I'm more afraid of what my ex-husband's family might say to her about it. I don't know, though, because my ex-husband's uncle was gay (he passed away) and I at least know that his dad was okay with it. But when I mentioned bringing a girl home once (when I was living with him, that's a long story) his mom was like "I don't care as long as I don't hear it." xP Like, it's worse to hear me and a girl than it is to hear me and a guy?

I have concerns with teaching Spawn that I'm bi but I'm with a man, primarily, and so it doesn't ever have to be an issue unless I bring it up. I'm afraid he'll just assume that we're straight and I can foresee all kinds of different problems that can bring.

I know for sure we're going the "Sex is okay and lots of different people have different kinds of sex" and, from Jacqueline Carey's books, "Love as thou wilt" approach.

I have great respect for anyone who can take care of and raise kids, I know I could never do it. I've really never really thought that I will have children. It really sounds hard with all the diapers and stuff xD.. And trying to learn them to be good people and all. Well I just wanted to say that I admire people that can do it.

Originally Posted by Estrella

She still pees her pants sometimes.
I think she's just being lazy when she does, though.
But mostly we're there 100% of the time.

I had to get rid of pullups and the like because she would literally change out of her underwear and put a pullup on to go to the bathroom.

That totally made my day, for some reason. Children are manipulative and insightful little terrors, aren't they?

I don't think children are inherently manipulative. They just.. think differently. A little more cunningly, if you ask me.

Hi there, Aspinou! Welcome to the thread.

Scribbled - I actually worry that she won't see it often either because like I said I don't really ever see myself having a relationship with a woman. And my daughter isn't likely to see me dragging home random girls. She gets enough of that from her father. :roll: I just hope that she sees no problem with it and doesn't feel uncomfortable.

Anyway, I had more to say but I'm babysitting four extra tots tonight so I really shouldn't be on here. xD *disappears*

I'm hoping that I'm able to have a long term relationship with a woman who is able to become a second mother to Spawn eventually. Sometimes I worry that no one except my current partner will ever love me again, male or female, because of being bipolar. On top of that it seems that lesbians go out of their way to avoid relationships with poly, bi moms. :stare: At least that's what I've found on the internet.

You know, I'm not sure I'd ever even be okay with a threesome. Not that it'd be awkward/uncomfortable but I have a jealous side that's a bit neurotic sometimes. >.>; I don't like sharing.

Non-monogamy doesn't work for everyone but without it I'd go mad, I think. I'm jealous by nature but I've come to realize that jealousy is a symptom of a larger problem and not the problem itself. Jealousy tells me that something is wrong and that I need to talk to my partner(s) about the matter and, hopefully, resolve it.

Someday I'd like to be in a long term quartet where I have my primary partner, CZ, and each of us has a secondary partner living with us. There's all sorts of combinations but that's the one I daydream of the most.

My husband has said, multiple times, that he'd be okay with me having an affair, but only if I don't fall in love. He's not too sure about a threesome, either with another girl or another guy; he says it would really depend on the person. I'm sort of genderblind, and my husband is about as straight as a guy can be (ironically, I thought he was gay when I first met him, but turns out that's just because he hung out with a lot of gay people in the early 80s -- so we're very lucky he never experimented, as he probably would have wound up with AIDS like one of his old friends), so I'd probably have more luck bringing home a girl than another guy. I think I'd prefer a second guy, physically, but that's probably because I've never been with a girl. Unless you count kissing what's-her-name when I was six. :P

I actually agree that jealousy probably means there's something wrong.
I think, usually, it's when people hide things from me. Or lie to me. Even enough little white lies stack up in my mind. x__X;

When I get jealous these days, it usually indicates that I'm feeling uncertain about myself -- it's never actually about the other person, but something that's off kilter in my head.

Mostly, though, I'm jealous of people who have well-paying jobs. Grad school poverty gets tedious after years and years of it.

I know why I got jealous with my ex-husband; he was scum and I was an idiot. xP

*snort* Yeah, that's a good reason to get jealous. It's a good reason to get angry and turn him into an ex!

/flops around the floor
/kind of drunk

Originally Posted by Scribbled Lore

Hi there, Aspinou! Welcome to the thread.

Thank you ^^.. accually it's quite scary to be one of the new persons around,I'm lurking around and trying to find a conversation where I dare to put in a post. It feels a bit weird to interfere in someone elses conversation. So far everyone has been very kind, and I guess I'll get past that eventually. :)

Jealousy is just lack of trust, really. Unless you have seriously good reasons for your jealousy, it's never the other person's fault.
I don't think I've ever gotten seriously jealous in a relationship, apart from when I've been in long-distance ones and even then, I was just jealous because other people got to hang out with my exes, nothing more than that. I have however been on the receiving end of jealousy from the other person, and been accused of cheating, by more than one ex. That really hurt, because if I'm in a monogamous relationship, there's just no way I would do that.

Hey Aspinou, don't be scared to just butt into conversations. I do it all the time and people never seem to mind. :P

I feel that being in relationship that lacks trusts takes too much energy, if I can't trust my partner or if my partner don't trust me, then I get out of the relationship. But I've seen many people getting cheated on and how it breaks them down. It's so destructive...

@josberinn thank you for that, I'll guess that's the best way to get to know new people right. It sstill a bit scary tho xD

It really does, and it takes too much energy for both people because there's just so much tension and shit.

Well. I like doing things that are scary, to challenge myself. Especially socially. And I've found it's almost always worth it. : D Even when it's not really worth it, it's never turned bad enough for me to really regret doing it.

I can totally relate to that fear, Aspinou. When I first got into forums, and even here at Menewsha, I was nervous about posting in well established threads but I soon learned that those well established threads loved having new people show up and join in the conversation. So here, at least, you'll never be told that we don't want you around! It's my policy. :)

Trust is so very important in a relationship and in many ways I liken it to an act of faith, which is odd for me because at this point in my life I'm an atheist. (I'm doing a bit of soul searching so this may change.) Someone may not have given you a reason to distrust them in the beginning of a relationship but they may not have given you a reason to trust them either and you give them your trust in the hopes that everything will turn out well. When that trust is violated the pain that results can be overwhelming and destructive.

I have issues with communication and I don't trust those who aren't willing to have long, thoughtful conversations with me.

It really is a leap of faith, trusting someone so completely. But it's a leap we have to make if we want to be happy in the relationship. Of course, if that trust is violated it can have long term effects on people's ability to trust other people, which was the issue with one of my exes - he'd been cheated on before, so he had real trouble trusting me.

I have trust issues and I'll admit that. I know that they started when I was dating my ex-husband. He violated my trust several times over and now it makes it difficult for me to trust anyone. Especially when I tend to catch people in their white lies ALL the time. Which aren't really bad because they tend to be told just to not hurt my feelings but they stack up and make me cringe.

I have issues with communication that are just ridiculous. I'll be thinking something that sounds completely sane in my head but I literally CANNOT open my mouth and tell someone. I'm much better at writing out my thoughts. Or the person I'm talking to has to be very comfortable/patient because I can spend ten minutes battling with my inner self into just saying three words.

Originally Posted by Estrella

I have issues with communication that are just ridiculous. I'll be thinking something that sounds completely sane in my head but I literally CANNOT open my mouth and tell someone. I'm much better at writing out my thoughts. Or the person I'm talking to has to be very comfortable/patient because I can spend ten minutes battling with my inner self into just saying three words.

I can definetly relate to that, I'm very scared of conflicts so just telling people the simplest things can sometimes get very hard. It's just like you say that the words don't come out.

I feel infinitely grateful that my husband and I trust each other implicitly. It's sad that the price of knowing that he'll never have an affair is him being permanently disabled and partially paralyzed, but it does mean that he's unlikely to even try to attract another woman. (I assume he holds the same trust in me, though he has said that he occasionally worries that, as I lose weight and become more conventionally attractive, other people might start trying for me. I don't think so, personally. :sweat:

@Estrella, Aspinou -- I get like that in confrontational situations; I can't say what I know needs to be said because my head just buzzes inside. It's gotten a little better as I've had to deal with students and their various problems (plagiarism, ugh), where I know I'm completely in the right and additionally have a little bit of authority over them. But I totally know where you're coming from.

plagiarism is that big of a deal, Scholar?