Menewsha Avatar Community - For the Love of OC!- Let's talk Writing (now public)

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- - For the Love of OC!- Let's talk Writing (now public) (https://www.menewsha.com/forum/showthread.php?t=201615)

god, I really want coffee now. I love it too much.

I forgot to buy some coffee last time I went to the store. it's the powder stuff but it's still pretty good.

Yeah, that's what I drink most of the time too. May not taste exactly like coffee, but still tasty.

so true but I like the flavored coffee's more. I can't stand the normal coffee at all the taste that is.

I create my characters, so that when I roleplay with them, I can get into character easily. They match my personality (to a reasonable extent) and many share my ideals.

Aiden Motori is a spirit of compassion, transformed into a spirit of anger, after losing so many of his people to humanity. He has learned not to place trust in God, as he believes that god has abandoned them to their fate, and favor a race that manipulate and abuse them. He's entered the world physically, and intends to wreck havoc on those that would abuse his friends and family. He's not a bad person, more like a Dark Hero. He knows the difference between right and wrong, but he cares little, too blinded by his own self-righteous fury.

I like all kinds of coffee, but I really prefer not to drink it black.

Andraus: My characters are very varied. Of course they don't often represent behaviors I completely don't get or respect, but I'd never do half the things my characters do. It's more vicarious living.

They're characters I can relate too. Because, in their place, I'd probably do the same thing.

I find that so unfun. Might as well just write myself and then it'd be boring because I do nothing interesting.

I said their personality's are related to mine, not their stories. In my mind, I can see the rise and fall of worlds, Death, life, and rebirth (not in that order). I see love, and loss. I love dreaming, because I can just wonder my own creations. It's so much fun, and it helps me escape real world problems, even if just for 30 minutes.

Aw okay and by the way Kat when was the last time. you look at your rp's?

I know what you meant. But it's exciting to write something you would never do...like rob a bank. Be a serial killer or a weak-minded poet.

eh...I should respond to our eh?

Yes respond to out are rp pretty please. I'll be back later my laptop is hot I need to let it cool down. for a few hours dang old thing.

I like playing the two sided coin: the hand of peace, or the fist of war.

Well, I've got a job. That should change my online habits....

That's a little too waxing poetic to make sense to me, andraus. What are you saying?

It means that I like playing as the person that can a Paragon, a model for humanity, but I can also play a dark hero, someone tired of living under another's control, and willing to do anything for freedom.

Kat hey avatar look's like it came out of sc-if show

I prefer to play a cute bad boy.

thanks Star. It's been a while since I got to use these futuristic items. They're so cool.

Welcome and I have not see those items to often

It must be because they're hard to match. I haven't seen much of them since they came out.

Would you all like to see an excerpt from my book?

Sorta depends on how long it is.

It's really just part of one of the conversations in the beginning

Sure, I wouldn't mind reading it.

This is my novel excerpt.

Quote:

As if by chance, Solonious stepped forward from the small void-gate in Svanna's office, which he had specially designed in case she needed to escape quickly. He had the build and look of a Wild Elf, but his hair was a shade of bronze, and his skin was pale with a hint of red, despite him being from a sun-baked world.. He had Ice-blue eyes, and the muscles to say that, while he was strong, he was no mere brute. "Pleasure to see you again, dear sister. "Solonious told her. He then stepped over towards Svanna, and hugged her. Despite his hatred towards the clan, she was still his sister. Even if she represented exactly what he fought against, he couldn't bring himself to be unnecessarily cruel to her.

"Dear little brother. It's good to see you. "Svanna said, hugging her brother. "I'm glad you decided to come."

Solonious laughed, rubbing his head. "When the Clan Matriarch of the Audric's herself calls for someone to meet her, it isn't something you can just openly refuse. "he said, straightening his face. "Anyway, what is it you would like to discuss?" He asked her

Svanna stepped forward towards the window, looking out at the ocean. "I came here to discuss your secession from the Audric clan. "She said, turning to him. "I understand your reasoning, Solonious, but I urge you to-."she began to speak, before she was cut off.

Solonious raised his hand, and sat down in the chair opposite to her. He then looked straight at her. "I already made this clear in my letters. I have no intention of rejoining the Audric clan. Sabhado is an Independent Colony of the Inner-systems. It shall remain as such, as long as I rule it. "he said, closing his eyes.

"Solar-" She began using his child-hood pet name, trying to plead with him.

"Do not call me that, Svanna. I'm not a child anymore. "He said, coldly to her. He opened his eyes and looked at her. "I'm not coming back, that is final."

Svanna could see him glaring at her, which caused her to cringe. "Please, Mother and father both miss you, They're worried about you."she pleaded with him. "The Clan Leaders are all debating whether or not we should invade Sabhado to liberate it. We've been over this Solonious, no matter how successful you are, your forces are not enough to protect that world."Svanna said. She was doing whatever was in her power to protect her brother, but she knew that she wouldn't be able to keep them off him forever. The Clans were very traditional on what it meant to be a Wild elf from their worlds, and Solonious was considered the biggest insult to their belief system.

Solonious laughed, before walking over to the window. "Ha! So it took a single man ripping himself away from the clan, for their 'perfect' image to be shattered. "Solonious said, shaking his head, before looking at her. "Let's get something straight, Svanna. I didn't abandon the Audric clan. The clan abandoned me, and men like me. While you and every woman has enjoyed rank, riches, and freedom, the rest of us were left in the dust. I refuse to be used as a weapon by some Politician who wouldn't know the sharp end of a sword from the blunt end. I do not intend to come back now, or ever."he said, waving his arm in front of him.

It's interesting. The dialogue is natural, but you really don't need to use dialogue tags (he said, she said) after everything. It loses some of the flow there. I can be that polished into something wonderful.
J-just...why do you put the space with your end quote in the wrong place?! It should be "word." not "word. "next word. O.o There are a few other grammatical mistakes too.