I'm just tired of having to act like I'm happy all the time - because I'm not.

haha, join me then cloud!

*wishes the stars were real again*

We slept on the bouncy castle then the guy came to collect it and we wished we had enough to rent it a second night xD

Okay. I guess maybe avatar forums are within your comfort zone, so happy to chat with you on here.

I always find something to distract me from my sadness, focussing on the unhappiness doesnt help at all.

Thats why im trying to throw you an online birthday party, where's hummy! xD

*runs off to make a cake*

They are - because I don't have to be in person with people I don't know. Although there are times that even on here it makes me want to scream and just give up... :/ People on here love to try to treat me like crap as well and even when I Try to stand up for myself, I basically get told that things are my fault. Sometimes I even wonder why I even try.

---------- Post added 11-23-2014 at 02:38 PM ----------

Having to write this stupid essay - that's not even been started yet isn't helping my mood either. I really don't even want to write this darned thing.

I'm so close to just emailing my teacher on Tuesday and telling him that I'm sick and can't make it in.

Well i wouldn't blame you hun! *huggles*

It won't be rubbish forever, thats all i can say for true.

Ergh i feel shitty, i need to wake up >.>

Oh no, even on here? :(

What is your essay on? Maybe we can help brainstorm ideas for you. ^_^

Also, please let me know if anything I said might have made you or anyone else uncomfortable. I try to be nicer online than I am in real life because I know that just seeing words on a page can cause misunderstandings regarding the tone of voice and intention of the speaker/typist...but how I sound online must vary from person to person anyhow.

List of what Amane?

Lavi: That's just something that I'm not sure that I can believe though. :/

Salvete: Yes that's right... even on here. Over all Mene hasn't really been a good place for me... I tell you.. people feel like they can treat me like crap and even when I try to stand up for myself - and going up as high as I can go, I get told that basically what people are doing is totally alright and there is NOTHING that can be done... And basically it's my fault.

It's not something that people who don't know ASL can help me with. It's analyzing two ASL videos (one poem and one narrative)and writing 3 to 4 pages per video (following specific questions for both parts) so 6 to 8 pages total. And it's due tomorrow. And I've not even started yet.

If I even feel comfortable speaking up. I will but based on how things have gone down in the past when I try to stand up for how things make me feel (no worries, nothing so far...) but in the past, I basically get totally treated like crap whenever I try to say how something makes me feel... because apparently I can't do anything right. So I typically keep quiet.

Salvete is right about words often being missunderstood online. I do that myself sometimes over facebook chat, thinking the person is being insulting when they're only joking.

But i always try to be nice too, unless its Magi, then i will happily take the pee cause i know he knows i'm joking xD

I hope you know that adults tell children off.
If they're going to act like children then treat them as such.

But you know I see where you are coming at at this "end of the semester" thing and it would be more of a hassle.

And sorry if I'm behind in the conversation.
I was reading it this whole time and finally decided to say something about it.

Yikes, that isn't something I can help with, unfortunately :( Have you started to watch the videos, at least?

Keno: See the thing is... if I was to do that - and I'm so close to actually doing it - they'll find a way to turn it back on me and make it something I NEED TO DO BETTER... not them. Because to them it's two against one, and they're winning because they're 'better' Etc etc etc... -.-

Even moving at the start of next semester will just start me off stressed and I'm not ok with that either... PLUS me moving ... makes them feel like they have won... and I'm NOT ok with that.

You should buy yourself a stripper pole [cool]

Welcome back Kenome :)

It's for my Deaf Lit class - yeah, I've seen them both. I just hate analyzing videos as I always misunderstand what they're talking about... I tend to mess up with interpreting signed videos more than I do signing in person... :/ They're good videos, I just don't have the energy or motivation to even do it, but if I don't do this essay, I most likely won't pass the class.

I know that pole dancing is a hell of a nice way to get into shape because of how many muscles it uses, plus I've heard it helps with your balance as well

my friend bought a pole for her bedroom for fitness reasons, she tried to show me a move and it fell down and ooooh it was funny xDDD

My christmas list consists of mostly books, and a new phone. So i need cash and amazon gift cards!

It's a sexual activity though, belly dancing on the other hand, is not unless you specifically intend it to be that way.

---------- Post added 11-23-2014 at 05:01 PM ----------

I plan on getting a new phone eventually as well [boogie]

I don't have a Christmas list at all... like nothing it is on it.