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llonka
Momma to the Crazies!
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03-04-2013, 03:08 PM
Hi! So a little about us if you don't know already. My husband and I have been married going on 7 years, he is 26 and i'm 25. We have two boys and own our house, we got the loan on the house in 2011.
On Friday, 3-1-13, a window salesman was walking around our neighborhood ringing doorbells. I was trying to get the boys ready to go to school when he got to our house. I was in a hurry and trying to get him to leave, so instead of saying no thank you go away, i said come back later. I didn't think much about it right then.
Saturday came and they called to see if the could come over, or find out if we really wanted to look at getting new windows on the phone. Hubby agreed for him to come over. My dad found out and got really upset. My dad went as far as coming to our house while the window guy was here and tried to scare him away. When my dad went home, i guess he called hubby's dad and told him what was going on. I feel like they overstepped their boundaries. My dad is saying all these bad things are going to happen, such as it will be too expensive and i'll have to drop out of college(currently going to get my associates degree) to get a job. Also said that by getting new windows we would lose our food assistance.
We went ahead signed papers to see if we would qualify for a loan.(hubby's idea) Thing about the windows in our house is they are the original ones from 1907, they are very drafty and painted shut. What if we have fire? Are we suppose to burn up or get cut trying to get out? Right now we are paying $126 a month for our washer and dryer, hubby plans on paying that off. The window cost was estimated at $118 a month for ten years. We figure that wouldn't be such a big deal and wouldn't put us in a bind. Sure if you only pay that much for that amount of time you are paying more that what you should, but it's like that for everything right?
So in a couple weeks we should find out if we qualify for the loan or not. Hubby has said if we do, he will give them the go ahead. >.< I am just afraid of what MY parents will say. I really don't think it's any of their business, but I'm the one who has to listen to them because they look after our boys while i'm at school. Otherwise they don't pay anything for us, just watch the boys sometimes.
Anyways I feel like our parents are blowing this out of proportion and by calling me stupid for even thinking about, treating us like we are little kids. I feel like it is our house, if we can afford it we should be able to do it. We have never asked for money from my parents, I don't see why they are so upset.
*In a nutshell- We want new windows in our house, but our parents (mostly mine) are calling us stupid and say bad things will happen if we go through with it. Would we really lose our food assistance? How do I deal with my parents if hubby gives the window company the go ahead?
Last edited by llonka; 03-04-2013 at 03:11 PM..
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rebeccarave
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03-04-2013, 03:21 PM
I know it can be hard to stand up to your parents, but just tell them just what you told us. You are grown adults and that they need to back up and let you live your life the way you see fit.
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xuvrette
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03-04-2013, 04:27 PM
llonkaka, that is not such a dreadful topic like bankrupt or adultery or divorce... DX this kind of matter supposely could be settle by having deep conversation on it.
Depend on what type your parents are. If they are worry about you more on financial, then show them your planning or how you use your money. And if they are more on worried for worry sake, tell them what worst thing could happen if the window is not changed. You just have to convince them by telling them what they want to hear. x.x
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dessertdesiert
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03-04-2013, 06:43 PM
Why are you parents so against you getting new windows? i honestly don't see the problem with them.
Do the windows open during the summer?
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llonka
Momma to the Crazies!
☆☆☆ Penpal Moderator
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03-04-2013, 08:42 PM
I dunno. Dad just thinks we will go into financial ruin if we have new windows put in. It's really not a big deal, but they are making it out to be. I've just been worrying about since Saturday. xP
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Maria-Minamino
Musician
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03-04-2013, 09:30 PM
Do your current windows even open up? Having new windows that OPEN will save you money when you can open them on summer days and turn off the AC...no AC costs :D
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dessertdesiert
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03-04-2013, 10:01 PM
Tell you parents that you and your husband will worry about the financial situation.
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llonka
Momma to the Crazies!
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03-04-2013, 11:57 PM
No the current windows do NOT open. Some are painted shut, others are nailed shut for whatever reason, I have no idea. That is why I am worried about a fire situation, I could not easily open the windows. I'd have to find something to break them open and risk getting cut on the glass.
I just have a hard time telling my parents what I think when they are putting me down. They put me down a lot on Saturday and I've been avoiding them ever since. Tomorrow I cannot avoid them anymore as I have classes and they will be watching Kaleb for me.
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dessertdesiert
ヽ(´▽`;...
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03-05-2013, 12:00 AM
What do you do in the summer when it starts warming up?
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llonka
Momma to the Crazies!
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03-05-2013, 01:14 AM
Turn the A/C on. Sometimes our electric bill is over $200. I try to have the doors open, they have windows on them that open and the kitchen windows open but that's not enough to cool off the house.
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dessertdesiert
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03-05-2013, 01:52 AM
You could probably decrease that by half, and over time. During the winter you can could reduce your heating bill because it will be less drafty.
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llonka
Momma to the Crazies!
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03-05-2013, 02:16 AM
That's what I think. I don't see what the big deal is and why they are so against it.
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ElysiumFate
There is beauty everywhere.
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03-05-2013, 10:43 PM
I think part of it might be that it's a 10 year loan just for windows. That's what bugs me. My new car wasn't even on a 10 year loan.
I think that if you need new windows you should really think about the cost of fixing your current ones (paint can be stripped off, wood can be sanded, nails can be removed, and drafty cracks can be sealed) vs. the cost of buying and installing new ones. I think you also need to look at more than just this door to door salesman's cost for doing so, because usually they charge out the ass for things and you could be paying double what you need to for new windows.
Also, do you really want to be paying for windows for 10 years when that money could be going into something like car payments? And are you planning to stay in this house for 10 years? Because you will still be paying off those windows if you decide to move, and then you're paying for windows you're no longer using and/or losing money you'd get from selling your house because you'd have to pay off the loan.
Just think about it is what I'm saying. Your parents may be being a bit harsh, but it does seem like you're just jumping into something.
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llonka
Momma to the Crazies!
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03-05-2013, 11:41 PM
Thanks, we have been kind of thinking about it. I think i'm not upset about the windows, it's just how they acted and treated us. My dad still nagged at me today. I feel like I am a grown adult and I think what ever decision I make should be between my husband and I. We might just tell the window people we changed our minds so we don't have to listen to our parents.
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ElysiumFate
There is beauty everywhere.
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03-05-2013, 11:57 PM
Yeah, your parents definitely didn't handle it well...I mean, showing up at your house to chase off a salesman? But I wouldn't blow them off. Windows are expensive, yeah, but a 10 year loan sounds like a god awful rip off.
Look at some stores like Lowe's and Home Depot before you buy windows from whoever's trying to hock them to you now. You could also look into just putting them in one or two at a time as you get the money. My parents do that kind of stuff and are pretty debt free.
---------- Post added 03-05-2013 at 05:06 PM ----------
Yeah...I was just looking up window quotes because I got interested, and found quotes of 300 dollars per window with install. Definitely sounds like a rip off to me, llonka.
So if you're paying 180 per month for 10 years it comes to 21000 dollars. Divide that by 300 you get 72 windows. Unless you have that many windows you should drop that deal...
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llonka
Momma to the Crazies!
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03-06-2013, 03:09 AM
LOL we don't have that many windows. Was only going to do like 10 or 11. The payment he estimated was $118 a month. Hopefully we don't qualify for the loan and that will be the end of it. xD
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ElysiumFate
There is beauty everywhere.
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03-06-2013, 05:31 AM
Whoop, my bad for reading over the number too quickly. XP I'd still say that's too much for windows. Go get a quote from somebody else if you do get your loan accepted then.
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llonka
Momma to the Crazies!
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03-06-2013, 02:31 PM
Okie dokie. In all honesty I think hubby just likes the salesman because he knows somebody that hubby knows. Also the guy acted like he was a God fearing person, I don't know if it was a sales plot or not. >.<
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ElysiumFate
There is beauty everywhere.
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03-06-2013, 05:55 PM
Haha, who knows? I come from a family that literally tells every salesman who comes to the door to "GET THE F OFF MY LAWN," and I'm also a psych major so I just distrust salespeople in general.
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llonka
Momma to the Crazies!
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03-06-2013, 06:13 PM
Hmm that's a good point, I don't know though. How could say stuff about "I have to report back to God" Then turn around and rip somebody off? >.<
The bank called today and we are approved. xP I THINK he said $124 a month for ten years. That seems like a lot to me. He wanted me to tell him yes or no without talking to hubby first. I'm like uhh you need to talk to the hubs first, he pays the bills.
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ElysiumFate
There is beauty everywhere.
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03-06-2013, 06:59 PM
Ahh, well, I'm a Christian myself, and I can't speak for the salesman of course, but people do do that stuff a lot...it's a huge part of the reason why there are so many atheists and agnostics these days. I mean look at the Catholic church. Child molestation abounds and yet they go back and "report to God." But that's off topic.
Ugh, I hate banks and money lenders for that reason. They don't want to give you the option to reject it if it means they have a chance of making a cent off you.
I still think that that's overpriced by a lot. If my math is correct, that's 1352 per window. If that's the best price you can find after doing research, then go for it, and if not I'd reconsider.
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llonka
Momma to the Crazies!
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03-06-2013, 07:05 PM
Okay I'll talk to hubby and let you know what we decide. Thank you for talking to me about this!
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Stellar Delusion
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03-10-2013, 12:46 AM
Honestly, your parents remind me, in a way, of my in-laws. They're terrible about concern-trolling like that. But this is one of the areas where they DO mean well. They're of the belief that being overprotective is just part of being a parent, and in a way, they're right - they just take it WAY too far. Protip for any parents or future parents out there: if your "protection" becomes verbally abusive (e.g., name calling), you are, very much, overstepping your bounds and doing more harm than good.
They do have just cause to be concerned for you right now. The price you were given is completely outrageous, even before interest. I would highly recommend going to someone else, but that's my only advice on the matter.
BUT, cause for concern is not an invitation to be a jerk.
Your parents need to back off and stop making such a big thing about it. You're two grown adults; it's not healthy for you or them if they panic over every decision you make on your own.
As for the windows, at this point, new windows sound like a necessity about as much as a refrigerator or air conditioner. If you get a more reasonable price, you'll be saving more than you spend before it's even paid off. No one would kick you off food assistance for that, and this is according to my friends who have used it very recently. Don't listen to them.
Last edited by Stellar Delusion; 03-10-2013 at 04:18 PM..
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jellysundae
bork and means
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03-10-2013, 10:53 AM
Your parents remind me of my mum when I left my previous job. She was upset that I'd not talked to her about it first (she'd just have tried to talk me out of quitting because I didn't have another job to go to, yada yada). I was 35 years old ffs, why do I need to run something past my mother first?
I guess the simplist way that I can put it is this. Parents will always think they know better than their children. No matter if the "child" is very much a grown adult, and said child could list bad decisions that the parents have made if they felt like being a bitch...
Parental concern is great, but they have to let go at some point. How about this, to try and explain what they're doing, to them. Ask them if they're gonna run their own future financial matters by you before they make any decisions...when they curl their lip in bafflement and answer with an immediate,"no, why would I?" My point has been made.
My mum was butthurt at me not telling her I was quitting my job, but she never told me when she left her previous one, which again proves my point entirely.
Good luck with finding a good deal for new windows, you definitely need something doing to yours!
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Mystic
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03-10-2013, 06:35 PM
In the US that would fall under a "home improvement" and in some situations you can write it off when taxes come around. It falls under energy improvements since old windows let drafts in and let cool air escape in the summer. Not sure if there's something like that you can look into or not.
It's MUCH easier to live without debt. I can see why your parents wouldn't want you guys to dig a hole of debt you guys can't get out of but really, it's not their money, it's yours when it comes down to it. I would sit down and talk to them about it in a calm fashion. You are adults and it is your decision in the end.
Jelly's right though, parents will always think they know better. Mine still do that kinda thing too. Just remember, as annoying as it is, they're probably just doing it out of love. I would for sure talk to them about it though and let them know it's bugging you.
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