I think its really good for your first try :3
You could sell art if you develop more of a style, I think.

Don't mind the bows, I was just joking around. And, the lines arnt as perfect as I wanted them to be, my mom's mouse wouldnt move around the curve so it took a while.
Anywaayysss, one arrow is pointing at the "hair in the back" another at the shoulders and how the figure doesnt make sence, and at the bottom to where the hands are is a purple outline of some part of the dress, showing that the clothing should be flexible and more...cluttered? Rather, more like clothing : ) You can always take a look at how clothing folds before hand, it helps me.
If you practice it with these pointers you will be able to make your own style and will be able to refine as much as you want, in my theory xD
Oh, one last thing. I tried to darken and lighten the part of the clothing that you colored myself, but I gave up since I cant do it with thiz mouse. So I just did a lot of lines in several places, but you get the idea right? There should be more flexibility in darkness and light, but not so much flexibility that it turns out all gray and blurred. And bold lines arnt bad either, even the lines that you think may look bad, in fact they can make the picture look 10 times better.
One last last last thing, I think the eyes should be less wide, unless you wanna turn that into a style [ dont be lazy even you are doing it just for convinence, in the long run youll start to try drawing less wider eyes ] ooor they could be more expressive. Like if she was sad, the eyes should show it [ Not nessesarily crying, crying can only be powerful if the eye shows it more than the tears ] Heck, even being emotionless can be an emotion in an eye. [ An eye that is locked onto something and left on bodly, for example ]