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Exchange 11-18-2008 12:32 AM

Stick and Stones
 
This is a short story that I had to write for English, and I wanted some feedback on it.
So here goes . . .

Her fingers unclasped, the balloon escaped, and with it the piece of paper which had been so carefully tied onto it just moments before. She watched as it slowly drifted away, the piece of paper which held all her pain, her sorrow, her thoughts. The thoughts that she had to hide for fear of what they contained. She closed her eyes, let a single teardrop stray down her cheek, and remembered.

Dear people,
I知 sorry. I知 sorry I can稚 live up to your expectations. I知 sorry I知 not good enough. I知 sorry you had such high hopes for me, and I知 sorry I couldn稚 live up to them. But realize that I知 only human. Realize that I知 trying. Realize that I really am. I understand you only want the best for me. I understand you only yell because you care. I understand you love me. But your love hurts. Your love hurts more than any physical blow could possibly hurt. The days when I would wait for a word of praise are long gone. The days now guarded by a wall. A wall to keep out the hurt. I really have learned, have learned from my mistakes. I致e learned not to expect much. I致e learned not to hope, because every time I do, I fall down harder. Until that one day where the pain will be too much to bear. Where I break.
I知 sorry.


And so she turned, went back into the house. Went back to her room, tucked herself into bed, and fell into a peaceful sleep. No more nightmares tonight, she smiled. The balloon was gone. But little did she know, gravity was at work, fate was at work. No matter how high that balloon goes, it値l always come back. It always did.

Melody 11-18-2008 01:00 PM

I think "did" should be changed to "will" as the last word, but that could just be my personal preference. xD

It's good. I'ce done something like that before, except it was writing all of my worries onto a paper and tying them to a tree (lightly tying) as soon as they fly off from the wind, my worries seem to disappear. It's a pretty cool thing.

Exchange 11-18-2008 10:49 PM

Hmm, I see that it flows better with "will," but I also think that it changes my intended meaning for it.
o 3o

I love stories like that.
How simple things can do so much for relieving stress.
<3


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