This is a story based off of an RP I'm currently involved in. It's a history of the character I'm playing. I think I included enough information for it to make a reasonably good story without knowledge of the RP itself.

Anyways, I'd love to get some honest feedback on my writing. I plan to be an author one day, and this is more practice than anything. And there's no use in practicing if you don't see how to improve on what you're already doing. So, help me out?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Light shone down from the sky, peering through the dull gray clouds. The city, Blett, was just as gray and bland. It showed signs of once being grand and magnificent, but now it was rundown and had the feel of a place lost to the ages. It was still populated, men and women meandering here and there. But there was no real life to it. The people all seemed so dissatisfied and dead inside. Rain started drizzling down on them, but no one seemed to notice.

It was a pathetic sight, and it made Nix sad to look down upon it. The worn buildings, the broken people, and dull weather. It all added up, making the place almost unbearable at times. The boy sighed. Maybe he was looking at it in the wrong light. There were times when the place seemed lively, almost like it wasn't a terrorized city with very little influence for a capital. Almost alive.

The wind blew his long white hair around as he leaned against the railing of the balcony. Nix was on the second highest floor in the Watchtower, the very highest being reserved for military use. The Watchtower was basically one room stacked up on another until it rose up higher than any other, even the government building. There was a time when it was a grand sight, he'd heard. The army would have the top three floors to themselves to look out and search for enemies on the horizon. The government officials would come out on the balcony of the third floor, which was connected directly to the government building, and give speeches. It was the built at the very center of the city, and the center of city life it had been.

But no more.

Now the Watchtower was basically deserted, the third floor balcony being used only occasionally to announce upcoming government actions. Every other floor was pretty much abandoned, allowing people to come up and look out at the once fine city themselves. Most chose not to though, the sight of the dilapidated buildings obviously being too grim for them. Nix enjoyed being up here though, partly because no one else was usually up here. It made it feel safe, like it was his own.

Sometimes, when he was up on the highest floor he was allowed, and he looked at it just right, Nix could truly see the beauty the city once had. It hadn't always been like this. For the most part, it had only been since the bandits had started taking over. He'd heard the story plenty of times from older folks, about how the bandits started growing bolder and more numerous nearly forty years ago. Even then, the city had been a little less than it used to be, due to the poor weather the area experienced. But it wasn't until the bandits started sneaking into the cities and starting trouble that Blett got worse.

The bandits, thieves, and mercenaries in the area had always been a problem. That's why the city felt the need to put up such a large guard. But often the bandits would sneak in as normal citizens or hidden and start wreaking havoc. Stealing alcohol, starting fires, getting into fights...and the guard rarely caught them before they skulked off. Over the years it got worse and worse until the citizens finally started to accept that the bandits were simply more powerful than the government. That was about fifteen years ago. For five years after, the government desperately sent forces out to attack the bandits on their turf, to prove themselves able to control the country. The bandits numbers grew as people started joining different groups of them. Especially the homeless and underpaid. It went on like that until the demoralized citizens started tolerating the abuse.

Thinking about it, Nix had always thought some of the mercenaries were kind of cool. They worked with the bandits sometimes, and got the same treatment. They were given pretty much anything they wanted, and in exchange they didn't cause too much trouble. The government still couldn't keep them out, and didn't even bother trying when they came in numbers for a raid. They just made sure no one was in the way.

Looking out at the bleak city, the memory of a dream settled into his head. Actually, it wasn't so much a memory. He'd been wondering about it for a while, although he'd originally thought about it a long time ago. Nix had always wondered if he could become a bandit or mercenary someday. Part of the reason that the bandits were stronger than the government was because some of their groups had an Elemental or two in them. The bandits didn't like the Elementals, from what he heard, but they accepted them. The government, like the people they served, refused to even accept the Elementals. They were monsters that should be eradicated. No ifs, ands or buts. The fact that Elementals worked with the bandits only strengthened this already solid judgment.

Nix grumbled, a little angry at the thought of it. It was the government and the people that hated the Elementals first, and drove them to be bandits and mercenaries. Even as an eleven year old boy, he could see that. The Elementals just went where they would someday be accepted. Maybe not well-liked, but at least they wouldn't have to hide who they really were all of the time. And because they were driven to do that, the people hated them more. It wasn't fair!

Then, Elementals are never treated fairly, Nix thought gloomily. Elementals are executed or captured on sight by the government, for no reason at all. The reason the bandit ones are safe is because there aren't any big groups that are hunting them down. This was the only rational reason he could think of. The bandits didn't like them, but they weren't all bunched together into some sort of mob like the government. Things would be better if everyone were just their own person, and nobody ruled over anyone else. He nodded affirmatively, convinced of that fact.

The drizzle had stopped, no doubt planning to return sometime soon. The sun wasn't even down yet, only starting to set. But he knew he should probably be going soon. It didn't make much sense to him why he needed to be home by nightfall. Although they never said it, he knew that his family hated him. Just like everyone else would, came the dark thought. It's because of what you are.

Nix stepped away from the balcony, walking back inside where no one would see him. Inside there was little furniture and only ancient carpeting. A few lights made it possible to see, but even with the assistance of the outside light, it was still dim in the room. Nix smiled. There was no one there to see him.

A red light started to emanate from his eyes, making them seem like they were glowing. This always happened when he activated his powers all the way. He actually liked the feeling. Lifting both his arms so the palms faced each other out in front of him, he forced the energy out into the space between his hands. At first there was nothing, but hen small shards of light appeared, floating around. As the number of shards increased, the room lit up slightly. Nix moved his hands around, watching the light trail after him. It wore him out slightly, but he'd practiced it before. His eyes watched the shards carefully as he started dancing, his movements faster than normal. They trailed behind his hands, spinning quickly and twirling around his arms elegantly. More added themselves until he felt like he were spinning in the night sky, surrounded by stars. He laughed brightly, his eyes glowing like mad now. When they glowed red like that, he could see everything as if it were moving in slow motion. It only made the light all the more beautiful...

And then it was over, his excess energy spent. The lights dimmed and died away, leaving Nix spinning around like any other child with glowing red eyes. His laugh had slowed and become a chuckle, and he felt spent. As he came to a stop, he couldn't believe that anyone could hate such an amazing power. It was so beautiful.

Nix staggered a little bit before recovering himself. He'd only gone for two or three minutes, but he'd loosed a lot of energy. His smiled faded when he realized that he could never do that in front of anyone else. Not even his family. That's why they hated him. That's the reason they had to leave his homeland. Nix shivered.

His memories of the place were fleeting, but he definitely remembered the snow. It was a beautiful town, he remembered. So amazing. The single clearest memory he had was how brilliantly the snow and ice shone under the rays of his Light. How the sky's colors were even more beautiful than his own, more colorful. The ice and snow, his own Light, the sky's light, all meshed together to make the most perfect thing in the world. But someone had seen, and obviously they saw something else, making everyone hate him. His family had been forced to leave, and they'd hated him ever since. Nix felt the lights in his eyes die, wetness replacing them.

Maybe I see things differently with these eyes, he thought. Maybe normal people just don't see the same thing I do. Is it ugly to them? It must be, to make me such a monster. Rubbing at his eyes, Nix wandered towards the stairs.

He just wanted to go home.

The government officials would come out on the balcony of the third floor, which was connected directly to the government building, and give speeches.

you can take out the “which was”

It was the built at the very center of the city, and the center of city life it had been.

Hmmm the Yoda-talk kind of throws it off kilter. And the first “the” can be taken out.

Now the Watchtower was basically deserted, the third floor balcony being used only occasionally to announce upcoming government actions. Every other floor was pretty much abandoned, allowing people to come up and look out at the once fine city themselves.

The qualifying phrases like “Pretty much” and “basically” are kind of contemporary in comparison to the descriptions you have been using successfully. I think you can do better at describing the emptiness.

Most chose not to though, the sight of the dilapidated buildings obviously being too grim for them. Nix enjoyed being up here though, partly because no one else was usually up here.

Over use of “though.” Also overly repeated “up here.”

Sometimes, when he was up on the highest floor he was allowed, and he looked at it just right, Nix could truly see the beauty the city once had.

This sentence is confusing. I think it’s the “he was allowed” part.

Thinking about it, Nix had always thought some of the mercenaries were kind of cool.

Yet again, you build up with a lot of advanced language, then use a vague, contemporary term like “cool.” Cut out the “cool” and describe why they are admired.

were given pretty much anything they wanted, and in exchange they didn't cause too much trouble.

Take out the “Pretty much.”

The reason the bandit ones are safe is because there aren't any big groups that are hunting them down.

Don’t use “ones” here. It weakens the language. Either use “bandit elementals,” or some other, more descriptive language.

Things would be better if everyone were just their own person, and nobody ruled over anyone else.

Take out “just.”

He'd only gone for two or three minutes, but he'd loosed a lot of energy.

While technically true, loosed doesn’t give the effect that lost does. Loosed has the feeling that what was released can be easily regained, like herding cattle.

How the sky's colors were even more beautiful than his own, more colorful.

His own what? The skies he looks at now? And the last “more colorful” doesn’t make sense either.

Maybe I see things differently with these eyes, he thought. Maybe normal people just don't see the same thing I do. Is it ugly to them? It must be, to make me such a monster.

Fan fiction and RP tend to use italic for thaught, but in standard writing- As speaking uses quotes, thinking uses demi-quotes.
-> ‘Maybe I see things differently with these eyes,’ he thought. ‘Maybe normal people just don't see the same thing I do. Is it ugly to them? It must be, to make me such a monster.’
keep this in mind for how you want the story to be read.

Very nice background set-up story!
You have a very good use of language abilities, but you don’t always use it! ^.^