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Smooth moving and detailed...
I need help moving from one part of the story to the next. Say I have two groups in two places. I think it's corny/stupid to keep using 'meanwhile' and 'while they were... these people were...' all the time. Is there a better way to do it?
Also, does anyone have some writing exercises to help me increase my details in my writings? Thanks :) |
How about...
"However..." "Not so far away" "Far away" "Back in ____ (place name)" "In ____'s group/mission/etc." "While ____ was doing ___..... ___ was having problems of his/her own..." I hope that helps a bit? It's corny to keep using meanwhile, but it's ok in moderation. I hope I can help! Good lucks! |
Thanks a bunch for the help. This will certainly come in useful.
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I think it depends on what you're writing. "Meanwhile," and other such phrases can work well in moderation for a short story, but I think for something longer, especially something with chapters, transitions shouldn't be signaled by a phrase. My favorite way to do it is to write the two parts separately and then connect them in the next part/chapter/whatever.:)
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In most books that I've read that deal with multiple main characters, there is no segue such as that. The chapter focusing on Character A ends, and in the next chapter, Character B is narrated. There's no "Meanwhile, B was..." it just starts the narrative as you would normally. "B woke to a brightly lit room..."
If you don't want to end the chapter, then do the line break thing like that. It usually means a break in narrative. Sometimes it's used to skip over boring events to a more crucial time, but I have seen it used to switch between narratives. Usually it's best to keep it at one character per chapter, though. Less confusing. :) You can use "meanwhile..." to switch between POVs, but honestly, it will seem a bit sloppy and unprofessional. |
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It really depends on what kind of story you're writing. You'll tend to see more 'meanwhile' and 'While all that was going on...' in stories with more humor in them. Something about segues such as that seem comical.
If this is a more serious story, then I agree with Cherry Flavored Antacid. A simple line-break will usually suffice. As far as increasing detail, my suggestion in general is to go back to the first couple paragraphs of a scene that introduces a physical environment change. (A new room, building, or yard for example.) There, you start putting in sensory details. It's easiest to write what someone sees, but what about how the place smells? What aromas linger in the air as the character passes a certain house? What sounds echo throughout the area? How does the place feel to be in? Is the air dry? Humid? Is there a feeling of un-aimed anger? Despair? Love? Go through the five typical senses when you describe areas and see how that works for you. |
It is a more comical story.
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