Queen's Marble
 

I don't think the opening comes across like I was hoping. This is the opening to a story I've been flirting with for a long time. Everything I get a distance writers block hits and well I could use some help on the beginning.....

I appreciate constructive criticism... if you don't like it please elaborate... not 'just because.'


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Queen's Marble: Beginning

There's no easy way to watch a loved one die. No way to truly move on- but to accept it. However, there are exceptions.

There was no net to fall to, no one to ease reality back into place, no gentle guiding hand to say 'it's alright- I'm here.' No one to talk to. No one to find comfort in after the images of blood and ground bone faded along with midnight terrors. No one. Nothing. Only the darkness to scream into, only the darkness to smother out long held in sobs.

The darkness understood, it held all of the sorrow in its limitless depths. But it spoke of a truth... one which was the harder to swallow than a horse pill made of sandpaper and salt.

There was no one to blame for it all. No one... But oneself.

The blade danced gracefully across the porcelain dance floor- beading gossamer the color of the deepest crimson- giving new paths to the many blue veined trees and towards the eyes of the queen. Ah, her collection of jewelry would grow with this example of perfection and flawless craftsmanship. How people would coo at the ball of her wise choice.

Sadly no one was coming. No parchment of the ball had been posted as there was no one to read it anyways.

Slowly the dance floor was submerged into the depths of the summer sea, only the smallest of bubbles passing through the cracks. No heartfelt goodbyes... there was no one anyways- only the darkness and it truly could leave you or take you.

Ah darkness- what a good friend you've been.

Heavy lids, fell over calm pupils, lungs struggling to fill with air- as only the summer sea filled them. Eyes wide for only a moment before slowly returning to calm, the acceptance. Pearled bubbles passing smiling lips.

A smile to greet death.

Hello, Darkness- we meet again.

its good, i like all the details. but not really sure what is going on.