I will not be posting my story just yet. for right at the moment i am not particulary fond of it.
I need a bit of help though, you see. My story is not of Vampires. Not of warewolves. not of anything except the Immortal.
The Immortal- those of which can not be killed by any means-even suicide.

The story is centered around two people.
1. a girl (age unknown to anyone, looks to be about 17) with pitch black hair, dark red eyes, and pale skin. she is suspended in the victorian ages and is suffering a "life" in the asylum. (silly- theres no way to escape)

2. a boy about 12. bright blue eyes and dark brown hair. living in the 21st century. living with his aging grandmother. (parents unknown)

the Immortals seemingly able to live "forever" live a life of agony and dispare. the young lady (see above) is able to time travel. for she was gifted to go in any era she pleases. but only for an hour. she meets the boy and explains that he is also an Immortal.

Being the young 12 year old he is- the boy is frightned of his never ending life. not knowing what to do. and the harsh obsticals he faces- he tries to commit suicide ending in a failure. his grandmother is forced to send him to a mental hospital. where he meets a girl that reminds him of the girl that told him of the immortals. there he begins to grow a bond with her.


where i need help-
names (people, places, etc.)
maybe a few tips on the story line/ plot
and just a few tips and such about anything you wish.

if i feel like people are interested, i will post a bit here and there of the actuall story.
thank you for your time.

I have a couple of questions:

-You make it sound like the "girl" has been stuck in that asylum for some time. However, if she's only allowed one hour in each time period, why has she not yet been pulled out of the asylum by that rule? Shouldn't she have 'disappeared' back to her original time? (Which I assume is the Victorian era because of her being "stuck" in it.)

-Maybe I was just a stupid kid, but at twelve years old, I don't think I could have grasped the idea of 'immortality' well enough to be so scared of it that I would try to kill myself. Are there other factors to his attempted suicide?

-Does the girl's time traveling gift/ability/curse? have anything to do with her being an immortal? And does that mean that the boy also have an ability? If not, why not?

-What makes an immortal? I assume this isn't a hereditary thing, because there would be quite a few of them by now and I assume someone would have noticed if that were the case.

-As the author, I assume you know how old (relatively) the girl is. If she is actually seventeen, why are the Immortal so young? I assume that they are capable of aging, since the boy obviously grew from a baby to a twelve-year-old.
If they stop aging at a certain point, why?


As far as character names, I usually learn as much as I can about their personalities and ethnicities before I name them. If the boy's family originally from Italy? Then maybe he has an Italian name. Is the girl from Victorian England? Then an English name from that time. That’s usually how I go about naming.
Same with places - time and place names them.

the girl is bound to the asylum. she is permitted an hour becuase it is an ability granted by her being immortal. she hasnt been pulled out of the asylum due to the fact that- of course, the asylum workers/members have no idea that shes been doing this for quite some time.

the boy is very smart. he has the mind of an AP highschool student. (which is his gift) maybe i should have explained that a bit more clearly.

each immortal has an ability/ curse of some sort.

what makes an immortal?
the scientific reasoning being- there is no way to make an immortal. just as with us- we are born. we die. but with immortals- they are born, and somethig in there genetics causes them to stop physically aging. (this could be at any point in there life) by that time they would experiance a few things.
1. being able to live through deathful experiances
2. having the capability to remember every little detail in there life.
and so on and so forth.

the girl i know the real age of. but i keep it secret until i finish the book itself.
just as the vampires (in exsample) they seem fairly young when they could really be over thousands of years old.
they dont necessarily lose the capability to grow older.. there bodies just take aging a bit slower.
i.e. 5 years old could be 25 years.



characters personalities-
girl- sarcastic, witty, level headed, intelligent, quick to anger, slow to forgive, to her "breaking point" (sad, mental, to the point of insanity)

boy- light hearted, intelligent, a follower, sweet, but also two faced,
(has split personalities), advice giver.
{split personality- anger problems, hateful and decieving}

-Does that mean that the asylum is her 'point of return' so to speak? Whenever she leaves for an hour, is it the asylum she returns to? Is there something significant about this place? Either the asylum or the land the asylum is on?

-I'd be careful with using genetics in this. By saying that, you're saying that it is either something they received as a mutation from one of their parents, a mutation that happened early on in the development cycle (probably around blastocyst if it effects all of their cells and as drastically as this does), or was caused by a mutagen by an outside force.
The first two explanations don't make much sense with what you've told me. So, if you do end up calling it 'something with genetics', you'd probably have to have it caused by an outside mutagen.

Overall, unless you're up for doing research, I'd suggest not calling it genetics.

this is just an early state of writing.. only drafts right now. i am willing to do every possible thing to make this book logical. by all means i will research all that i can. and yes- an outside mutation would be best.