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fridayd5
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#1
Old 01-09-2010, 09:30 AM

Amara was sitting on a stool in front of a wet window. It was pouring, and there was no chance that her father would make it home before she had to sleep. Amara's mother called her, "Amara time for bed!"
She was not tired at all. She thought it would happen sooner or later. She heard the door slam open and Amara ran downstairs later into the night. Here blond bangs were bouncing about while she jumped from each step. She was still a small five years old, maybe 42 inches tall.

When she finally got to the last step she looked up. She saw a soaked man with a towel over him. Amara skipped along to the table and took a smaller towel. She ran over to the man, and hugged him with the towel, so she did not get wet. Her father looked down at her and picked her up. "Daddy soaking wet!" she squealed.
Her dad put her down and pointed up the stairs.

THATS ALL I HAVE FOR RIGHT NOW

Codette
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#2
Old 01-13-2010, 06:41 PM

Cute... Innocent and loveable... very brief though..

Hayzel
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#3
Old 01-13-2010, 08:59 PM

cute,

Quote:
She was not tired at all. She thought it would happen sooner or later. She heard the door slam open and Amara ran downstairs later into the night. Here blond bangs were bouncing about while she jumped from each step. She was still a small five years old, maybe 42 inches tall.
This part runs together, you should probably separate it a little bit. it's like "Okay, she just went to bed... oh wait... nvm she didn't?"

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#4
Old 01-14-2010, 03:25 PM

I agree with what Hayzel said, it does run together a bit. But overall I really like it.

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#5
Old 01-16-2010, 06:43 AM

You have a nice character started here. :)
I'd just like to mention that 5 year old can form complete sentences, so it would be "Daddy's soaking wet."
Adorable stuff so far, though. I'm interested.

 


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