i'm not good at this so please dont be too critical
 

its not done but tell me what i need to fix





"It's raining. . . . . I-I feel the cold hit me. . . . . I-I can't see . . . . . I-I can't hear it or anything. . . . . m-my senses are so disoriented by the bright rays of the sun that rest is needed. . . . . but now. . . . . now I am fully awaken . . . . and with my awakening I slowly regain my other senses . . . . . but the one that has been regained. . . . . the one that is by far the strongest. . . . . is my scent of smell. . . . . and with that. . . . . wait . . . . . it-it cant be. . . . . this scent. . . . . it sent is so familiar. . . . . the smell . . . . . WHERE IS THAT SMELL COMING FROM . . . . .TO WHOM DOES IT BELONG TO . . . . . if only i can discover it . . . . . but there is one thing . . . . . one thing that i can determine . . . . . the smell. . . . . is blood

Interesting style. I don't understand why the stutter is only at the beginning of the first few sentences, especially the "m-my senses are so disoriented...." It would make more sense to have the stutter in other parts of the sentences too. Also, be careful with "sent," "sense," and "scent." Interesting beginning and I'd like to read more.

Interesting beginning, my main turn off was all the "..." I know what you were going for, believe me, I do it too, but you need to actually stop for a sentence every now and then. What I see when I see that is a very long sentence. With this you might also want (your choice) to put in more details. For example what is the person doing while they are saying/thinking this? Just details to pull the reader in even more. But not bad, rather intriguing.

thanks to the both of you. i'll try to improve on it

I agree with both of them! Really good beginning and that's always the hardest part, starting something. Great work!! I'm looking forward to reading more^^