This is a random story I wrote a while ago... The idea came to me in the shower, and I just had to write about it.

Any kind of constructive critisizm would be greatly appreciated.
And I'm wondering if I should continue the story, or just leave it at this.

It can be found here.

Though most human's completely ignored their existence, she was not deterred.

Should be humans right there.

"After the two-hundred day incubation period, we, what we call, stimulate them."


I would change that to "After the two-hundred day incubation period we stimulate them." If you want to keep the what we call then you might want to change it to "Do what we call stimulation."

I know this sounds weird, but I get more of a feeling of an elected official than a scientist from her tour guide. I'm not sure why though.

That is a really cool story idea. I would really love to read more, if you wanted to write it. Your style is very easy to read, and I think the pacing is excellent.

Thank you so much... Most people say my style is weird. -.-

Thanks for the critique too, I love it when people help me. :3