Yeah, it is. She's probably the most like me in temperament. Getting into trouble when she's meaning to and when she's not. I'm also writing an actual story with her. Hence the first post...which is actually set in modern times.

I have alot of reccomendations:
Changes of grammar/ punctuation will be in itallic.

There, lying on the ground, were both boys. Clutched to his chest, Davie's fist held something. The chain sprawling out from his tightly curled fingers. But it was more the blood that ran from the boy's neck that worried the mage first. Next to him, the other boy laid out, the only sign of discomfort a bloody nose as his head rested against a brick from the building next to him.

She waited for him to elaborate, enjoying the feeling of his discomfort just a little bit more then she should, but he had been one of her classmates at this very temple so many years ago and she was only human after all.

He loved the girl like his own, but he knew he was only keeping her safe for a while.

Standing up to shake Daniel’s hand before laughing lightly.

Switched perspectives. The sensory detail of more than one character can be confusing to a reader.

She even ignored the gift at the insult to her mother.

“Shh, Precious. It was not meant as an insult.” Again a soft smile before he leaned down and kissed her forehead. “ Remember

Promise me, Tomas. Promise me.

The usual nervous twitters abounded until a strong voice cleared the air with a polite cough.

"Some of you are here because you show promise, some because you are determined, still others-" stopping in surprise as he was interrupted.

You have these all listed as chapter one, but each is such a distincltly different scene and time, that it may be better to break it up into different chapters. I understand they are snippets of a life, and perhaps I need to have more of the story to understand where you’re going with this, but the reader gets thrown a lot with the varying time gaps.

>.< If they’re Firefly reavers, at least so far, they don’t fit the setting.

This throws me off- you had yet to use Japanese terminology.

With a small wink, she crooked a finger at him and walked towards him, watching as he took one step back then remained standing.

She always thought of these odd little angels no one else would, and it had been proven invaluable innumerable ties before.

I feel like you’re pulling from too many influences in your settings and characters. Generate more of a central theme.

Many times you use “then” when you should be using “than.”
As spark notes says: