10-10-2007, 05:38 AM
his is the first chapter to a story I am writing called Verscos. I would like some feed back on what you think needs to be fixed or added. Any critiques would be loved.
Verscos
Chapter 1
Lunamis sat on the dew-dropped, speckled grass. His head was slightly tilted up towards the sky. The lingering twilight was being slowly swallowed by the sun's commanding rays. A soft smile fell upon his lips as the sun kissed his skin. It had become his tradition to watch this morning dance of the sun and the moon. It was one of the few chances he could have some time alone. It was the instance when he could forget about himself and simply exist with nature; ignore all the complications that life offered. These moments were often short lived but they were still well loved more often then not he wold be called away; this morning it was his mother calling for some help with breakfast. Nothing can remain so simple forever.
"Lunamis! Come in, I need some help preparing breakfast!” Ambika, Lunamis's mother, called from the doorway of their house. Her arms crossed her chest as she watched her son run to the house. Her thinned lips smiled as she pat him on the back and moved toward the kitchen.
Lunamis smiled as he walked toward a counter laden with fruit. He never minded helping his mother with breakfast. She was probably one of the few people he felt he could relate with. He knew that if given the change she would probably join him in his morning tradition. These moments were probably the closest the two were going to get to having that. Sometimes they would talk about a book that had recently read or their dreams. Today they chose to just enjoy each other in silence. That was enough for them.
Ambika had already set up most of the things needed for the meal, she just needed help with the preparation. She stood by the over urging the fire to life. She knew that only the smell of cooking meat would wake the rest of the family. Lunims busied himself with the fruit; chopping them into cube and then distrusting them into four bowls.
The kitchen was by far the largest and most important room in the house. It was the room that the family would spend most of their time together. The design was a simple circle adored with wooden floors; floors worn into comfort by many generations of bare feet. Stone walls covered with a creamy orange plastered made the walls of the kitchen. The southern wall was painted with the images of Mother Luna and Father Sol; a common tradition in Soluna. It was a well-loved kitchen that had been the host to many joyous celebrations and was prepared to host many more.
The rest of the house was small, but it served it's purpose. Besides the kitchen, there were four other rooms. The first room acted as a receiving room. It was directly connected to the kitchen and was the first room guests would see. It only meant to serve the purpose of offering a welcoming comfort to visitors. Plush chairs littered the room and welcomed anyone who wished to rest after a tiring day. The walls were painted a cream and with candles as the only light it had a lazy atmosphere. The family never spent a great amount of time in this room; truly, it was more of a welcome mat.
The other rooms where the bedrooms. Both rooms were the same size and made to fit exactly two people. They were the simplest rooms as they contained a bed, a side table, wardrobe and a few other personal effects. These rooms were only meant for resting and sleeping so there was no reason to make them extravagant. Their simplicity was comforting and encouraged people to go out and enjoy themselves.
While it was more common for people to bath a
public bathing house there was till a bathing room attached to each house. It was equipped with a small metal tub that needed to be heated with fire and a toilet which was nothing more then a wooden seat with a pail beneath it. A sink that required a great amount of pumping encouraged people to use proper toilet etiquette. This room was probably the loneliest as visits were short and ofter rather avoided.
In the kitchen Lunamis had finished preparing the fruit and was working on setting the table. Ambika was carefully transferring the meat from pan to plates. The smell of the food had already throughly saturated the house and the sounds of waking could be heard.
A girl stumbled into the kitchen. Her fiery hair formed a mane around her head. She yawned loudly and plopped down into her chair. Her hand rubbed vigorously at her amber eyes in an attempt to get the sleep out. Turning to her brother she looked at him with morning red eyes.
"Up yet Solaris?" Lunamis said, as he placed a plate of eggs down on the table in front of her. He took the seat across from her and started to make up his plate.
"Mornin', Lun." Solaris mumbled, as she helped herself to some eggs and a large helping of meat. "Gods I can't believe it! I mean it's tomorrow! We're finally gonna be of age!" She punched the air a smiled fixed to her face.
Lunamis nodded, taking a small bite of toast. "Yes, it is exciting to finally be looked upon as an adult. Although I'm more looking forward to the second day. You know last year people came from the other countries! I was able to get my hands on this books of myths.”
Solaris rolled her eyes stuffing a bit of egg into her mouth. She could never understand her brother. He had such a love for books and the adventures they held. She preferred to go off and experience her adventures firsthand. To wander through the forests that stood on the outskirts of town or, perhaps, get lost in the winding streets of the city. Those were real adventures that offered real fun. They offered real danger! The only danger in reading was a potential paper cut.
But it seemed Lunamis had no love for danger. He would much rather sit in the shade of a tree then to go on and after noon hike. Why, just the other day Solaris had taken upon the task of bothering the neighbors grumpy hunting dog. Lunamis laughed the idea calling it “stupid” and “a way to meet death quicker.” Needless to say Solaris went solo on this adventure as she did on many of her past ones.
Solaris finished off her plate and waited for her brother to finished off his. She placed the dishes into the sink. Solaris then walked off to the bathroom and quickly ripped a brush through her hair.
Soon Ambika came rushing in, taking the brush from Solaris. "You have such beautiful hair, Solaris. You really should take better care of it.” Ambika frowned in dismay as she braided her daughter's hair. Solaris just laughed.
"You always say that, mother, but I never really see the point. Anyway, I better get going or Lun and I will be late!” She said, running out of the bathroom and grabbing her bag that was by the door. Lunamis was waiting for her outside, tapping his foot impatiently.
• § •
Lunamis gripped at his bag lazily and walked beside his sister along the dirt path to the school. The weather was pleasant enough. The air was warm and the sun's rays had not yet grown harsh. The walk was not a long one, but it was not a particularly short one either. The path ran through a green field that was littered with blue, white, and orange flowers. It only took Solaris and Lunamis about half an hour to reach their school.
The school was a rather plain building. It was large and completely made out of stone that had been left unpainted. There was a main entrance that was marked by a metal gate. The top of the gate had been shaped into the symbol of the Soluna country: a sun and moon merged together. Once inside, you would see the school building that was separated into two different sections: one section for the Children of Luna and the other for the Children of Sol. During the day, the different groups would be kept apart in these two rooms, meeting only for lunch and at the finish of their school day.
"Have fun in class, Lun!” Solaris said, as she ran of to join some of her friends. Lunamis smiled and waved vaguely, merging with a group of students.
Lunamis truly enjoyed school. He was of an intellectual, unlike his physical sister. This was common in their society. Luna symbolized knowledge, cunning. While Sol was the symbol of strength and courage. This was the reason why the school was separated the way it was. In this way, each child could have their needs met rather than have to change to some common ground.
It was rare for the siblings to be separated. For it was not encouraged to separated the children. They were born together as twin and should stay as such. Except for a few special events, twins were expected to be at each other's side until they were married. After marriage, they were expected to live in houses that would be right next to each other. It was tradition that one set of twin would marry another set of twins. This way there would never be a real reason to be separated.
Lunamis got to his class room and sat down in his desk. He pulled out the books he needed from his bag and then put the bag on the floor. His first class of the day was Advanced History of Ancient Soluna. This was one of the required class. Every child was required to take lessons in history, mathematics, literature. Two additional classes could be of their choosing.
For his electives, Lunamis had chosen a language course and a geography course. From the moment he had his first glimpse of people from a foreign country, he had taken a great interest in what could be found outside his country. It was extremely rare for someone to venture outside Soluna. In the case that someone did, it was usually a child of Sol whose sibling had died. In that case they would never come back. This made the outside world a mystery to the people of Soluna.
Lunamis was in the last level of many of his classes. Class levels were not based on age but, instead, by knowledge. Each student would be given a test at the start of the year and that would determine what level of the course they would enter. Lunamis hoped that somehow he could graduate early and get a quick start on his career. However, he knew he could not leave the school until his sister was ready to graduate. He knew that she would not be ready to leave school any time soon. He supposed he could always take a few extra courses. Hopefully, these courses could help him in the future. Besides, there would be no harm in learning a few more things.
Much like how Lunamis disliked adventures Solaris disliked school. She felt it was wasting her time and the classes were utterly boring. She felt her time would be better spent if she could teach herself. After all what did teachers really know? They were just old announces.
The classes she had chosen were all about improving her physical strength. Her first choice had been a class that taught the fighting style of her country. The second class was a weight training class, perfect for building up her muscles. She worked hard in both classes so that she could one day be one of the strongest fighters of her country. It was rare for a female to earn such a title. Often the male children of Sol would look down upon their female counterparts. Solaris hated this stereotypical way of thinking and would train hard in class and at school in order to climb the ranking system.
School days were usually six hours long. One hour for each class and then an additional hour for lunch. The students would have to change classrooms because of the broad differences in the levels among the students. They did not have to stay at the school for lunch and could either go into town or go home for food. There was, however, a lunch room in the middle of the school where lunch could be bought.
Lunch time split the day up into two parts. In the morning, students would have their required courses; after lunch they would take their electives. School was only let out for festivals and other special holidays that the country celebrated.
This day was an especially hard day of school to sit through for it was the day before one of the biggest festivals held in the Soluna country. It was the Festival of Joining. This festival was to celebrate the birth of the Soluna country. It lasted two days and was the one time of the year that outsiders could actually be seen in the city selling items. There were also many competitions held.
Solaris hoped to enter and win the fighting one this year. But it was not the competitions, market, or food that made this festival so important to the country. It was a time when those who turned sixteen of age would be considered an adult. As such, they would go through a ceremony were they would be wedded to their spouse. Lunamis and Solaris had both become of age and were looking forward to the ceremony.
In the "Ceremony of Joining", a moon would be joined with a sun and a sun with a moon. This was done to honor the joining of Father Sol and Mother Luna. It was in this ceremony that one pair of twins would be thrown into a marriage that had been arranged by the gods. The gods would speak through the priest and priestess of Sol and Luna. This was to ensure that the marriage would be forever blessed. The family would only know happiness as long as they did as the gods decreed. It was said that any marriage that was entered into that had not been arranged by the gods would end in great disaster. So, it had never been attempted. The people of Soluna were not ones to tempt fate. Those who did were often considered fools and outcasts.
Solaris had been looking forward to this day all her life. Although to some she was considered boyish in nature, she did have a few girlish desires at heart. As a girl, she would dream of the day when she could don her ceremonial robes. She would pray to the gods that her husband would be kind, smart, and, of course, most importantly, she hoped he would be good looking.
It was the only subject on the tongues of her friends and herself. The girls would walk together and scope out guys that they hoped to be paired with. But their feelings never went beyond hope. Anything beyond hope would only cause pain.
Lunamis was slightly less excited about the day. He could not wait for the day to come when he would finally be a man. He wanted badly to break away from the parental shell and really start to learn about the world. He had not put to much thought into what kind of wife he hoped for. He thought it a bad idea to build up false hopes. After all, he could conjure up a picture of his perfect girl only to be disappointed with what the gods gave him. So he decided long ago to allow everything to be left up to the gods and he wouldn't have to worry about his expectations not being met. There would be less of a chance of him being disappointed. Although, he did hold out with the one hope of having a wife that could cook well.
The first three classes of the day passed by in a slow, torturous sort of way. Each class seemed to last for hours on end. Students would shift uneasily in their seats, throwing glances to the window to determine the position of the sun. They prayed for the chiming the bell to bring the end to one class and the start of the next. It seemed that even the teachers did not want to be there. They were teaching in monotonous voices, not even looking mildly interested in what they were saying. Finally, the bell chimed three times, announcing the end to morning classes and the start of lunch.
People separated off to find their twin and then get lunch. Lunamis and Solaris met in their usual place, a rather large, old Moon Tree that stood in the courtyard of the school. It was a rather pretty tree with pitch-black leaves and large, white flowers with round petals that would only bloom at night. Solaris was at the tree first and smiled brightly once she saw Lunamis.
"Come on, Lunamis. I want to get home! I can't believe it's only lunch time! This day is taking forever to end!” She said, her voice tinged with complaint.
"I know. Even I find this school day to be rather boring. I am excited about tomorrow. I still cannot believe that we are already of age!” He smiled at his sister. They were walking along the dirt path to get home.
"I know! Oh, Lunamis. Tell me, do you know anyone coming of age that is handsome? Oh I hope whoever is picked for me is handsome. I am sure that if my husband is handsome, then your wife would be beautiful.” Solaris said, her voice stuck in her dream.
"I suppose there is some logic to what you say. But remember, sister, beauty is not everything. What I am worried about is if I am paired off with someone I absolutely hate! Could you imagine how horrible that would be.” Lunamis said.
"Oh that would never happen! The gods would never pair two people together who were not meant for each other. The gods are always right about their decisions. I mean, just look at mom and dad. They're a lock and key, just perfect for each other!” She gave a bright reassuring smile to her brother. "Remember, there is a reason for everything.”
It was at this moment that Solaris felt a sharp burning in her throat. She resisted the urge to cough and looked nervously at her brother. She knew he could feel his throat burn also. She prayed that he paid no mind to it. She hoped that he believed that this was his sickness only and not also hers.
Her throat had been bothering her for many months now. But recently it had been getting much worse. She could only guess that she was experiencing the symptoms of some kind of sickness. She had not bothered to tell anyone yet. Her first reason for keeping this a secret was so that she could keep away from the healer. She had always disliked the healer and had a fear of him when she was little. She also knew that if her parents found out that she was sick she would not be allowed to enter any kind of competition. So, she thought it best to wait for the end of the festival. Then she would go to the healer and get everything all sorted out.
Lunch was awaiting them when they got home. Their mother had placed a blanket outside and had set all sorts of food out for them. Most of the food was probably taken from what was not needed for the festival. Sweet breads shaped into the sun and moon, sausage covered in exotic oils, and spiced with peppers. There was the cooked meat of an animal that was native to Soluna and could only be found there. There was also a small pitcher of a special drink made from the nectar of the blossoms from the Sun tree and Moon tree. It was a sweet drink that was only made at the time of the "Festival of Joining". Lunamis and Solaris quickly sat down and helped themselves to the food.
Of course, lunch went by quickly as most enjoyable things tend to do. Soon, Lunamis and Solaris found themselves back in class waiting another two hours for the end of the school day to come. Their afternoon classes seemed to pass by even more slowly that those of the morning. They passed by at a sloth's pace. Solaris found that she could not even summon the enthusiasm to enjoy her athletic classes and, instead, faced them as just one more task of the day.
There was to be a meeting after school in which the ceremony would be discussed. This would be the first time that they got any real information about the ceremony. They would be told what was necessary for them to do before the ceremony took place. All those of age rushed to the meeting, most running as fast as their legs would carry them. The younger children looked on with jealousy and the elders smiled knowingly at the excitement.
The meeting was to take place in the Main Hall of the country. It was the second largest building of the town. It was a rectangular building with two stories. The walls were made out of clay that had been painted white. The roof was wooden and had also been painted to match the color of the outside walls. The windows were made out of a sort of shiny glass that were bumpy to the touch.
There were only two entrances to the Main Hall - a front and a back. The doors in the front were made from a thick, black wood that reached six feet in height and seven feet in length. On the door was etched the images of Mother Luna and Father Sol. Also, there were the faint images of Sister Astrum, Brother Gaiasus, and Cousin Astemues. These gods had all but gone forgotten the in the tales of the Soluna country.
Inside, there was one large room with a raised platform that was meant for meeting such as this. Upstairs was a private meeting room that was meant for the country sages, priest, and priestess. Only they could enter here. There was never a time when a commoner would be allowed in that room.
Those of age took seats in the main room and waited for the priest and priestess to start the meeting. The priest and priestess were twins who were chosen at birth because of the unique placement of markings found over their hearts. The marks were either of a crescent moon or a sun. In most children, this mark would be found on the outer side of their left eye.
The priest wore no shirt so that his symbol could be visible. He wore silk pants that looked as if they were sewn from gold. They had the design of the rising sign sun sewn into it with such accuracy that you could almost feel the morning rays of the sun. They were held up by a simple belt of dried red strips of leather that had been woven together. His skin was a warm honey color and his hair was a fiery color that was chopped close to his head. His eyes were bright amber as they looked wisely out at the crowed. His lips held a gentle smile.
Beside him stood his sister. She wore a dress with a low neck so that a glimpse of her mark was visible. Her dress was black and had the night sky embroidered into it. The moon was full and luminescent. Her skin was a milky white and had a reflected look much like the moon itself. Her silver hair hung loosely around her and reached down to the back of her knees. Her eyes were cobalt for she was born under a night of a "no moon". She had a faint smile on her face and her hands were clasped together.
The priest stepped forward and raised his hand, looking around the room. "Tomorrow will be the most important day of your lives. You shall be joined with your life partner. During the ceremony, Mother Luna and Father Sol will tell my sister and me who your perfect match is. After this ceremony, you will be seen as an adult and will begin your own life." he paused to glance around the room.
"But you have no need to worry! The gods have never been wrong. I have never seen a marriage chosen by them go awry. However, there are things you must do to prepare for the ceremony. Tonight you shall be separated from your twin and you will spend the night away from them. I know that this must sound frightening to you. You have never spent a night away from your twin. But this is to test you; to make sure that you are ready to enter adult hood. So tonight, once the moon has risen in the sky, you shall meet here and be separated into moon and sun groups. Tonight, you shall worship the great Mother Luna. Tomorrow you will worship Father Sol. Finally, when the moon and sun rest in the sky together we shall begin the final part of the ceremony. The Joining. So go home now and prepare yourself for tonight's task!” the priest said.
He stepped back and lowered his arms. He then made a quick gesture with his hands. The meeting was over.
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