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Pichucutey
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#1
Old 10-17-2007, 09:43 PM

my story is called azulla from the sea and i need opions from the poeple on menwsha.com to post the opion. anyways here is a sample

azulla was born in 1994 in her own under sea temple. her hair was sky blue the same as her eyes.she had a million toys but she got bored of them.one day she swam out of the temple and to the suface of land.all of a sudden her fins are gone and there forming where her fins use to be was legs. azulla camped out that night and was a woken by two crabs fighting.

that was my sample so please rate it please

Pichucutey
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#2
Old 10-17-2007, 09:48 PM

will anyone read it please i worked hard on it (well not really hard)i rweally wanted to see peoples opions.

Nick Evans
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#3
Old 10-17-2007, 09:51 PM

not bad....but please do not double post its a major no no here ^___^
thanks 8)

ara la illusionist
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#4
Old 10-17-2007, 10:04 PM

you just need to make it longer, and put a lot more detail

Pichucutey
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#5
Old 10-18-2007, 12:43 AM

well i just started plus that was only the sampke i told you

 


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